Sunday, December 27, 2009
landon went in for his second bronchoscopy. the doctors are still trying to figure out what is wrong with his breathing. they also did some other blood work while he was sedated. the results came back and said that landon is still aspirating into his lungs and he had an infection in his airways. they said just to keep waiting to it out to see if he'll grow out of it and to avoid him taking in lots of water ie submered in water or else he could drown with the all the fluid in his lungs...guess swim lessons are out for the time being.
on wednesday, jordan and i went to dinner with his boss and some people he worked with and it was an adult dinner...no kids. some friends we have babysat for us (gasp!)....in landon's two years of life it was the first time someone other than family had watched him. he did great though, there were lots of people there to entertain him. we also went to dinner with the perrys and the burninghams and all six of our kids in tow...it was interesting but not as bad as we probably all anticipated...they are getting older now and keep each other company, at least for a little bit.
dylan had his four month check up. he's in the 75th percentile for height and weight lol which is funny to us because landon never went through the chumky baby phase, but dylan is a tank of a kid. we have to take him to the ear nose and throat specialist (same ones that put landon's tubes in his ears) because they think dyl might have a deviated spetum or a collapsed nasal passage; he's always stuffy and his nose runs and he snorts a lot, sounds like a warthog....a cute warthog.
we had our version of christmas here before we left and it was nice...we didn't go too overboard with spending this year because we're saving up to landscape our backyard still .
then we braved taking both kids on the airplane to washington for christmas. with checked baggage as much as it costs, we were worried about how we were going to get stuff for 4 people for 8 days on the plane with us.....enter Space bags!! we packed all four of us in one suitcase and still made it under the 50 lb limit, just barely though. the boys did okay on the plane...it is difficult to keep landon contained to such a small space for any prolonged period of time. surprising enough, we werent' the mess you expect with two kids and two carry one items each. we made it through security, shoes and jackets off and all, in less time and with less hassle than most single travelers.
we got to washington and it was freezing! it was really cold but as soon as we got outside, you just breathed in evergreen trees and it feels like home again.
the first night we were there we went to a baptism for a friend of ours who has been a pseudo member of the church for a long time but finally took the plunge...pun intended. he had so many people there to bare witness to his committment, i told him he had the super bowlf of baptisms. it was really inspiring to watch; all those people having so much love and acceptance of his new life. you could really see it in his face too that he was changed instantly.
the next morning we went to church and dylan had his baby blessing; he slept through it but it was a beautiful blessing given by his grandpa dave. he gave dylan a blessing that he would be happy and healthy and strong throughout his life with strong faith....it moved us, just like when he did landons. it was the christmas prgram which is my favorite because i know all the songs and they are the perfect belnd of spirit, both in God and in the christmas sense which i guess is the more commercial sense of the word.
i got to go spend a little bit of time with my brother mikey and he got to see his nephews (meeting dylan for the first time). we did some christmas shopping and spent most of the rest of the day just hanging out, playing board games with the family and eating all the things you are expected to eat at christmas time but the kinds of foods your diet doesn't allow for....oh well....all in moderation which i did a good job with....no extra pounds gained..
i also got to see my very best friends tim and suzi!! they are the best kinds of friends because even though we go years sometimes before we see each other, we pick up right where we left off. we talk like we just saw each other the day before. i love them. i also got to see my friend nolan who had been serving in the armed forces, just got back from quatar and was back in town. he and i go way back and have been friends a long time and i'm glad he made it home safe and unharmed. we all had a good time and i hated not being able to see them more but when you want more time, it seems like it's always speeding away from you..
jordan and i got to spend a night together in seattle. we stayed at the edgewater hotel which is a rustic/modern hotel, makes you feel like you're in a ski lodge in the city, i loved it. we drive down with nayt and jaimie who were celebrating two years of marriage. they were a lot of fun to hang out with. we all went to dinner and the next day, we spent a good part of the day walking around pike place. we bought doughnuts that were the size of someone's head, we had fresh fruit that was delicious, we went to the first starbucks which i always wanted to do and we ate at this local cheese place for lunch. i got to do two things that i havne't been able to do in a long time.....take an uniterrupted nap AND and uninterrupted shower...it was divine!!
that night, we took the kids to the bellevue botanical gardens to see the light display they had there. landon wasn' in the best of moods but we made the best of it. it was insane the things they can do and make with christmas lights, i was really impressed... and i liked that it was free..most light displays were charging 10$ a person..no thank you..
on christmas eve, we had our christmas dinner with the whole family. kathy made chicken cord en blue (pardon the spelling) and lots of other yummy food and we ate until we were going to explode and then we played some more board games. p.s. i am awesome at apples to apples, just in case anyone wants to play against me....example. word was "innocent", i won with the card played of "adolf hitler".
the next morning was christmas!! we all opened gifts, exchanged thank yous, even landon said his. he suddenly has hit a language boom and will voice his wants and needs most of the time and copies what you say. i slept a good a good part of the day away after not sleeping at all the night before and then we just hung out the rest of the day.
on saturday we went to our friends mark and anne's house to have dinner and so landon could hang out with their daughter, the lovely and adorable miss gracie.they went back and forth from getting along to arguing to fighting to chillin on the couch....and only one head on collision that left them both in tears momentarily. mark and anne are always a source of entertainment for us and it's so easy to hang out with them because there are very few topics that are off limits or don't end up to be hilarious. last night, we spent our time packing. we had to leave the house at 330am to catch a 515 flight....ugh....we did it that way to avoid a layover.
we drug ourselves and our sleepy little ones through security and onto the plane for the 2 hr and 45 mins flight home. dylan slept almost the entire time, jordan and i kept drifting off and landon stayed quiet most of the time since brought the zune with us, loaded with kid movies...it's a handheld wonder!
today, we upacked, bathed the kids, showered, cleaned, went and finally bought landon's bed for his big boy room and put it all together. it was a very productive day (so far) considering that we only got maybe two hours of sleep. now we're home and it's bittersweet...both in that we are awar again from our family and we're back to our regular routine in the morning.
we had so much fun this trip and it is so awesome to see how close landon and his grandparents and uncles and aunts all are. dylan just loved and cuddled everyone and landon is getting to the age where he really can express how much he loves you and it just broke my heart when we left this morning and he looked back and at grandma and grandpa getting in the car to leave...the look on his face was so sad....but i know that we are going to see them again soon and he'll be even more excited, and so will we!
here is a link for pictures from our trip
Friday, October 30, 2009
so to you (landon, lando, landy pants, mr bubba, bubbas, bunkin, bucket) we love you! we love your blue eyes, your belly laugh when you're being tickled, your "boston" accent, your faux hawk, your inability to walk anywhere and how fast you are, your tip toe walk, your excity boy, your gibberish, your bedtime hugs and kisses for everyone, your desire to drink from the big cup with the straw, your dipping sauce addiction, your soccer ball kicking, your mean mugging, your kung fu master karate skills, your "ah man!", your chocolate milk obession, your binky addiction, your three blankies at all times, your cuddles, your not talking on the phone when someone is talking to you, your animal noises, your ears, big brother protectiveness, and everything else that makes you!!!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
now, i will leave my desk at work and go home to a little boy who has the flu, a little boy who is learning to smile (steals your heart) and a husband who has had a rough day dealing with everything else on top of trying to get some work done!! bless him!!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
last week, we got a phone call to tell us that my grandpa had died. he went in for an angioplasty and was kept overnight for observation. the next day, he was released and was home visiting with friends from out of town and his family and all of sudden, he dropped to the ground. the doctor's said they think it was a blood clot that dislodged and went to his heart. he didn't suffer at all, which is a good thing. today was his funeral and i'm sad because we weren't able to make it. the plane tickets were outrageous and it's a seven and half drive there...we just weren't ready to take the kids in the car for that long. i will miss him, calling and joking around with him. i was really sad because i had sent him pictures of dylan and landon and they were supposed to go pick them up at walmart but didn't make it...he never got to see what his new great grandson looked like. my cell phone wasn't sending pictures for some reason, but the day after he died, the phone suddenly started sending pictures again. strange.
kathy, my mother in law, came and spent last week with us. i love when she comes to visit because landon seems so happy when she's here. he loves to be around his family and he and her have a special bond. plus, she is such fun company to have. we all went out together for dinner, us and logan and felicia and taylor and kyle and it was great. i love having a sense of family. she had to leave this morning, early this morning, and we hope to see them again soon. i think we are going to try and go up to washington for christmas.
another thing that has been happening is our pursuit of a new house. we have an offer in an house that has been pending for over two months now and so we decided to look around some more. we found one and tried to buy it, but the seller was shady and after three days, we still didn't agree to his ridiculous contract terms. he sold it to someone else from underneath us. i guess it's for the better considering how difficult he was. yesterday, we found another house that we love! we hope that our offer goes through on this house but there is a lot of other interest in it. we're keeping our fingers crossed.
so everyone here in the dunn house is doing okay...the baby is growing and happy, landon is getting to be a good big brother and learning what "gentle" and "careful" means, and jordan and i are cleaning up the constant messes and enjoying the time off from work together. jordan has to go back to work full time next week so i'll be wrangling the boys by myself three days a week. wish me luck :)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
after dealing with preterm labor since week 24 and being out of work and on bedrest, we finally got the point where the doctor said we could be induced, that was on the 11th. i was put on the induction list at arrowhead hospital for sunday the 16th starting at 8pm. that sunday, we took landon to chuck e cheese so we could spend some time with him before his brother came. he loved it, but got overwhelmed by all the kids. he wasn't crazy about the big, talking, dancing mouse either, which i thought most kids loved.
sunday night came and went...as did all day monday and all day tuesday and all day wednesday. the whole process was ridiculous!! i would call and ask how long it would take to get in, they would say "we'll call you". they would call me and say "you're still waiting". my doctor would call and they would tell him "keep waiting". for four days straight there was apparently never an opening. i was in so much pain and back labor and all the waiting through the nights was keeping us from sleeping. finally, my doctor called another nearby hospital to see if they could get me in. there was an opening thursday morning at 2am and so we waited to hear if that was going to work out. we got a call at 2am to be into banner thunderbird by 3am. thank heavens!!! some relief was near knowing we didn't have to keep waiting by the phone.
we dropped landon off with logan and felicia. we had them on standby all week just in case we had to get called in in the middle of the night. he wasn't too happy about it at first, but logan said he calmed down pretty soon after we left. i felt sad knowing that my baby boy wasn't going to be the baby anymore and he had no idea.
we got settled into the hospital, prepaid for their service (which is some new hospital policy and it may have been to early for the lady to get jordan's joke about what they do with the babies if you can't pay ahead of time for them), and went to our room. the hospital is really nice and the people were nice to us. they started pitocin on me right away and asked me about 100 questions, one of which being what the maximum pain i could tolerate would be. i assumed this was to gauge whether or not i was going to need the drugs and i said yes, i will be asking for them at some point. dr erickson came around 7 and broke my water, which is the most disgusting feeling ever but for the sake of any male readers, i'll spare the details. jordan left for a few mintues to get landon and take him to daycare for the afternoon. we would have kept him with us but landon isn't one to be contained and there were too many things for him to mess with and get in trouble. while jordan was gone, i got to experience the horrible pain of real labor. last time with landon, i had the epidural early and so i never really felt the intense contractions....but i sure felt them this time!!! i thought i was dying! it was terrible. jordan called and asked how i was and all i said was "come back". he came back and then the wonderful anthesia doctor came back!! she was my hero. the medicine made me a little loopy and had to be administered twice for it to work but it finally took effect and it was so much better after that. each leg felt like it weighed 100 pounds.
at 10:45 i was ready to go. i pushed with the nurses for three sets of contractions and then had to stop because the baby was coming out and we had to wait for the doctor to come back. it took him a little while to come back and when he did, i only pushed a couple of times and then, there he was.
it was a totally different feeling than what i felt with landon. i didn't know what to expect but when he came out, i was overjoyed! i had been so worried that this day wouldn't come because of the early complications and i was worried all throughout the pregnancy that this day would be tainted with rushing nurses and doctors and oxygen masks and loud beeping of monitors. when it all went smoothly, it was mroe than i ever could have asked for. i was so happy. so was jordan! he is the cutest daddy ever. his face was just lit up and he was so excited to see them measure and weigh him. he weighed in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce.....big boy!!! we all guessed he would be in the 7's somewhere. he was 20 1/8 inches long and he was built like a little bulldog, just stout with a barrel chest and chubby arms and legs. he had blonde hair and looked very similar to landon. another beautiful boy. we are so blessed!
all his tests came back good so we were able to keep him in the room with us the whole time, expect he had to stay under the heat lamps for the first few hours because he was struggling with his temperature a little. that night, jordan brought landon back to meet his brother. he was more excited than i thought he would be! he wanted to kiss the baby and hold him and give him hugs. later on, kyle and his friend britt came to visit and landon was so excited. he loves kyle!! the perry family too and we were so happy to see them. they brought their little girl kamryn and she is two months old now, which i can't believe! she's so adorable. landon was elated that kade was there to play with him, although the hospital room isn't the best place for boys to play...lots of buttons that call people and make noises and sound alarms. the perry's were so awesome; they took landon home with them so jordan could get some sleep..he was exhausted beyond belief.
we got to go home the next evening and today has been our first full day home. it's taking some getting used to with landon and the baby. he isn't always willing to share his time and attention and he doesn't fully understand what is going on yet. we have to say "be gentle" about 100 times an hour to him. dylan is good though. he sleeps a lot but has been awake a lot today..so hopefully he sleeps tonight. last night was a little rough because dylan was getting used to being home, landon got woke up by the monsoon and wanted to come to bed with us, and gage was having seizures (caused from the new stress or the heat probably).
my family feels pretty complete now. everyone keeps asking if we are going to have another one, to get a girl or whatever, but i like having my three guys. i'm outnumbered but i know that it is going to be so fun....going to soccer games, camping, playing baseball, doing all the boy things with them as they grow up together. i'm so lucky to have these two boys in my life and i'm even luckier to have such a wonderful husband! he has been awesome through this whole process, he was amazing in the delivery room, and he is so supportive now that we're home. i loved seeing him and dylan sleeping on the couch together last night.
so now we're home and our life starts a new chapter. it'll be interesting to see what is written for us to come.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
so for now, the restless nights filled with anticipation and the long days waiting around is what we are doing....we'll keep you posted in the event that something climatic happens....hoping it happens soon...
Friday, July 17, 2009
i do appreciate most of the polite, helpful conversations i have with strangers about this pumpkin shoved under my tank top, i really do.....sometimes though, you just get those people who have no tact or really just want to add to a miserable day by saying something crappy to you like "good luck (saracastically) with two boys" or "you must be sweating like a pig in this heat carrying that baby around". thanks a million. to the woman at babies r us that told me which diaper rash creme was the best to use on sensitive skin, i do apprecaite you.....just don't rub my tummy :)
Sunday, July 5, 2009
at the party, Kami, Jenna, and their friend all were talking about the things they get to do with their daughters. they all had matching red, white, and blue headbands to match their adorable fourth of july outfits. they were talking about dresses and girly stuff and i just sat back and listened. a small part of me is a little sad that we aren't having a girl this time.....and i think about how much trouble i would get into shopping if we were having a girl lol we haven't really bought anything for dylan yet because we have stuff still from landon and my two friends Kami and Jenna are throwing me a shower this week. yet, everytime i walk through the infant section at the store, i see those little dresses and the little shoes, and the pink blankets.....sigh. maybe next time, if there will be a next time. i always said i wanted three kids but my body sucks at being pregnant, especially this time. i don't know if i could do this again and keep my sanity. it will be exciting to have another boy because i know that dylan and landon will be the best of friends.
here is a picasa link to a few pictures of our fourth.
Friday, July 3, 2009
with the temperature climbing in the 1oo's, i find that entertaining a toddler is harder than i imagined. being on limited activity and bedrest certainly doesn't help. we can't do a lot of the fun things that parents and kids get to do, like go the zoo and the parks around here. i can, however, sit by and watch him have fun. today, trina and i took landon to the glendale splash park. i figured, it's a small space, easy to keep track of him, it's hot and the water was cold and he'd have fun. plus, he's been going crazy cooped up in the house with me the last couple of weeks, especially because he wasn't able to swim or do anything with water for awhile after having his surgery. so we went and sat in the shade as landon ran around and played in the sprinklers and the jets and the puddles. One kid at the park had to leave in an ambulance after colliding with another kid. he was knocked unconscious after samcking his head on the concrete. landon had a little run in too where he was knocked over, but there was at his breaking point anyway. after that, he was ready to go home. so were we. even though we were sitting on the sidelines, trina and i somehow got sprayed and soaked right as we were getting ready to leave. at home later in the afternoon, i heard a strange noise and went to look. i thought the downstairs bathroom toilet had overflowed or something, but turns out it was a freak desert monsoon, our first of the season. trina was amazed how warm the rain was and went running out into the driveway. naturally, landon followed and they both got soaking wet!! landon loved it! the rain only lasted about ten minutes but it dumped down enough rain to the drown the street in front of the house. i sat back and taped them because i had already had my share of being soaking wet for the day, plus, i was wearing a white tshirt and we all know that rain and white tshirts don't mix.
i hope it doesn't rain tomorrow for the Fourth of July. i used to hate it in Washington when you'd wait all day to the fireworks and then it would rain and ruin it. we will be enjoying the day with our friends, the Perry's and the Burninghams. SaraJane turns 1 year old tomorrow! crazy!!
Baby Dylan update.....we made it to 32 weeks, which i've been told is a milestone because the baby's organs (except for the lungs) are pretty much all developed and he wouldn't be as high risk if he came now. i thought i was going to have him yesterday. i accidentally slipped on some water that was in the hallway and biffed it. after that (and even today), i was having a lot of contractions and have been in a bit of pain in my back and hip. we see the doctor again on monday and we'll see what he has to say about it. also, we'll see what he has to say about going back to work, or at least getting off this prison sentence.
Have a good weekend! i know we will!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
it was a fairly quick procedure and he was done within the half hour. i was surprised it went so fast. they didn't have any recovery time or observation time. they told me to pull the car up and they were going to bring me my son, who was waking up from anthesia. last time, we got to wait in recovery for about an hour to make sure he would be okay. i wish they would have done the same this time. they came out and handed me a very scared, confused, drugged up baby and he was so angry. i tried to ease his frustration with his favorite blankie and some chocolate milk but he wasn't having it. for those of you who know the phoenix area, i got to drive from paradise valley hospital to our house in surprise with landon screaming at me in the back. all he wanted was comfort and cuddles and instead, he was strapped down in his seat. from start to finish, the whole way home, even got stopped behind a passing train, he yelled and kicked and threw his binkie at me.
as soon as we got home, he was fine. he went up and saw his daddy and his daddy told him everything was okay. he took a nap and had some lunch and seems to be doing okay. i'm glad. i just hope that this surgery does what it is supposed to do and give the kid some relief from all this discomfort.
Monday, June 22, 2009
31 weeks and potentially have 7 more to go. we'd be inducing at 38 weeks to prevent the baby from distress during contractions, due to lack of space to move. we had to do the same with landon. i feel like we aren't ready for him to come. we have all the stuff left over from landon but we really haven't bought anything new for dylan. we haven't bought a baby book for him, no new clothes, no toys, no nothing. i know that you usually get some of those things at a shower but i don't even know if i'm going to have one. i think everyone, including myself and jordan, were too worried to plan for him to come. a few weeks ago, his chances of survival if he was delivered were less than 30 pecent and now, they are almost 90 percent, with some risk of complications such as breathing, sight, and hearing. i think now that we are in a little bit of a "clear" zone, we can plan (and purchase) more.
speaking of hearing, landon is going in for surgery tomorrow. he is having tubes put in his ears, which i was told is a fairly common procedure. landon has fluid trapped in his middle ear on both sides and it's preventing him from hearing as well as he should and it makes him prone to ear infections. poor kid. yet another thing to deal with. the worst part about the whole thing is the doctor we were going to never mentioned anything about the reoccuring infections or the fact that landon's speech hasn't been totally on par with other children his age. we finally switched doctors and the first visit, they looked at his records and did a test on him and said that we needd to go to a specialsit, an ear nose and throat specialist. the specialist said that he thinks that the tubes are going to help and that we should notice landon's speech improve dramatically and also, we should notice the volume of his voice lower as well. i always just thought landon was a loud kid, but it turns out that landon has a hard time hearing himself and so he doens't realize how loud he is most of the time. so we shall see if this works. i hope that it does because he has already been through so much and it just isn't fair to him. he surprisingly is still a happy kid despite the fact that he is sick a lot. i love his personality (most of the time). he has the best laugh!! you can't help but to smile and laugh along with him. his surgery is really early in the morning so we'll be home recovering the rest of the day and shaking off the anthesia. keep our little guy in your thoughts tomorrow.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
then there is jordan, my husband. he is an awesome dad. landon and him are the best of friends and they have this special bond. they play together and he lights up. the day landon was born, i saw a change in jordan; he suddenly had this wholeness that i hadn't seen in him before and i knew that i had just marked off one of his things to do in life on the list...have a son. now, as we're awaiting the arrival of dylan (yes, we finally decided that will be his name) i know that it will only expand his love for his family that much more. he is the foundation that keeps us strong and i love him more and more everyday.
i'm glad that dylan has stayed put for the last couple of weeks. i was afraid we were going to be at the hospital today. we've reached 31 weeks this wednesday and it feels like a big relief to be in the third trimester. we still have some things to worry about and with every contraction, especially the big painful ones, i wonder if he's ready to come out. tomorrow, we get to go and see the doctor but we also get to see dylan. we get to a 3d ultrasound, which i'm excited about. i want to see if he is going to look like landon. i want to make sure everything is going okay in there. if i can, i'll upload some pictures afterwards.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
today is mine and jordan's three year wedding anniversary. you would think that we would spend it doing something fun or romantic but this new baby put the brakes on that early yesterday afternoon. contractions kept coming one after another and after much internal debate, i decided to call the doctor and ask what he thought i should do. so i went into the office today and after meeting with him, he sent me the hospital to be observed for awhile. it's so frustrating because it's a miserable couple of hours spend wearing half a bedsheet, going without food, with no good tv (or bad) tv to watch. after a few hours i was sent home with the same instructions as before. the baby looked fine in the ultrasound and everything else looked okay too. doctor said i just have an "aggrevated" uterus. i wanted to say "prescribe it some paxil and let's get this show on the road for the next 9 weeks without any more of these visits being needed".
anyway, jordan and i have been married now for three years and in august, we'll have been dating 8 years. he is the most amazing man and i am so thankful everyday that i was lucky enough to meet him and have him accept me for who i was. he really is the glue that keeps us all from falling apart at the seams. he was a great boyfriend and is a wonderful husband and the most loving father. one of the things i love most about him is that he is a genuinely good person. he is honest and caring and decent and those qualities are so hard to find these days in anyone. you can count on him for anything. he is my best friend and i'm looking forward to many more years together.
now that summer is officially upon us, we've been spending some time letting landon swim and play in the water. here is a picasa link to some of our first days of summer.
Monday, June 1, 2009
for those of you who don't know, jordan has skin cancer and every single mole or spot on his skin is full blown cancer waiting to happen. it's terrifying to think that we could get that bad news at anytime, but luckily, we have a determatologist that is keeping on top of it. jordan was one of the youngest patients to have the Moh's surgery, which was the removal of a basal cell carcinoma from his temple. some tissue and muscle had to be removed at the same time. he's had several other scares but they've been taken care of. last friday, he had a spot that was diagnosed precancer last year. he was supposed to have it removed a long time ago but put it off. he had it removed on friday and us and the doctors are keeping our fingers crossed and praying that it doens't come back melonoma, which can be one of the deadliest forms of cancer because of how fast it can spread. we hopefully will find out the results in the next week or so....hoping for good news and bracing for the bad, just in case. so in case it is bad news, it will make it easier to cope with whatever we need to do if his mom is here.
other than hoping i was able to take off this ever growing fat suit, making a permenant butt dent in the couch and hoping everything will work out for the best with jordan, we're doing alright. we'll be ten times better when bubba comes home tomorrow!! yea!! kathy has been getting him interested in potty training and so that will be our next venture....end of diapers would be fantastic...for now...until this new one comes and we start all over
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
as of today, we are at 26 weeks in this pregnancy. it is still early for him to come because of all the health risks so we're delaying him as much as possible. if we can just get to 36 weeks, that would be ideal. if he tries to come again despite our best efforts with the bedrest and the medicine they gave me, than i'll be a short term resident of the labor and delivery ward in the hospital under supervison. hopefully, that won't happen. keeping our fingers crossed because this sentence here in the house is bad enough.
Friday, May 15, 2009
there was a time where it was just me and jordan, after we moved out from having roommates and after we got married. our nights were spent lounging on the couch, watching movies and tv and our weekends were so laid back. we'd go grocery shopping or to a movie or to dinner. some people really miss the days of nothing, when you could sleep in and go to bed late after they have kids. i feel the opposite. i feel like our life got even better after we had landon. although it's messy and chaotic and tiresome we wouldn't want it any other way. we were having breakfast yesterday morning and it was just us, and something was missing.
today is really lonely. jordan is gone and so is landon and i'm not supposed to be up moving around so i am bored....i did however get up and clean some.....i actually am up more than i should be but bedrest is hard.
next week, i go back to the doctor and he might release me back to work part time and back to light duty which means i can clean and take care of landon when he comes back.....or he might sentence me to another two months of this torture....we'll see.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
this morning, my wonderful husband brought me breakfast in bed...and not just because i'm on bedrest......he made crepes from scratch and they were so delicious. we all just got to spend the day together. one of the best things about being a mom, is looking at your husband and son sitting together. they are the best of buddies and landon has been a gift to me, but it is also a gift to jordan....his day is next month :) we went out (for a short time and we didn't walk around much) for ice cream. it was a good day. landon, my lovely son, was a joy for the first part of the day and a monster the second half, only to turn his bubba charm back on right after dinner until bedtime. jekyl and hide with that boy sometimes. at the end of the day, when it was time for bed, he walked with me to bed and i picked him up to put him into his crib and he laid his head on my shoulder and hugged me. he didn't say anything and he didn't have to....it was the perfect silent "i love you mommy" moment. i held him for a minute, rocked him and watched as his little blue eyes grew drowsy. now, jordan and i get to hang out and enjoy the quiet for a few hours before bed (few hours for him, i'll probably be alseep in ten minutes). i can feel this new baby kicking around and although i've felt like a prisoner for the last couple of days and have one more full day to go, i'm full of love for him and all the joy he'll bring to our family.
on mothers day, it is only fair to take the time to appreciate the other moms who have paved the way for you, inspired you, continue to inspire you. i'm am so lucky to have a whole lot of moms who mean the world to me. my own mom, of course, who i would be lost without. she's the person i want to call to talk about everything and nothing with. she's so strong and right now, she's enduring quite a challenge and i hope that she can keep her sanity and make it through this tough time. my mother in law is a superhero, as far as i'm concerned. she has every element of a mother and i admire her immensely. she has been a very strong influence in our lives and i'm so lucky to have her. my mom friends suzi, jenna, anne, and jessica are some of the best moms you'd ever want to know. they have so much love and can learn from them and laugh with them, which is important when you've had no sleep and you're four loads deep in laundry that needs to be put away.
this mothers day, i am especially in awe of my friend kami. she is nearing the end of her pregnancy with little miss kamryn, who we all can't wait to meet. she works a crazy schedule, barely gets to see her husband, and is raising a four year old boy kade, who is my buddy. kami had a hard year last year when she lost her son kooper. throughout this year, she has really impressed me with her strengh and her faith. her connection with God is something to be envious of and it is infectious...one could only hope to have her inner strength and unconditional love. i hope that she knows what a hero of mine she is and how i look to her as an example.
so for all you moms out there, i hope you had a wonderful day today. i know that i did and it's coming to an end but i know that today isn't about the breakfast, the presents, the night out...its about the moments that happen everyday that remind you how blessed you are to have been given the chance to create a life...and to have that person (or people) love you for you everyday of the year.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
on tuesday at work, i started feeling some contractions. i chalked it up to braxton hicks and didn't think much of it. later that night, the contractions started to get worse and painful and made it hard to breathe. i of course did what i always do when i'm not sure if something is or isn't wrong, i called my mom, my mother in law and consulted webmd. apparently. painful contractions aren't the norm this early in the pregnancy. as of wednesday, i'm only 24 weeks along. per the advice of my materal elders, i called the doctor in the morning and asked for his opinion. much to my surprise, they told me to come in right away and be seen in the labor and delivery triage ward. needless to say it wasn't the day i planned. i arrived at work, clocked in, and clocked right back out to head to the hospital. when i got there, they hooked me up to the monitors, one for me and one for the baby to track his heartbeat. the baby's heartbeat was good, steady. my montior was full of peaks and valleys, tracing the strengh and frequency of my contractions. my nurse told me that these weren't the dry run contractions i was used late in my previous pregnancy, these were the real thing....and they were unwelcome. they gave me two rounds of what they call the "stop shot" which is a medicine meant to slow the contractions. this shot made me feel like i chugged a gallon of mountain dew in a matter of seconds. my whole body was shaking and i was really warm. after the two rounds of the shots (which i did well with, no panic attack which i was proud of) they gave me another medicine which is a muscle relaxer also used to treat cardiac conditions. the nurse told me they'd have to do any exam, which was less than thrilling. during the exam, she discovered that these premature contractions were actually working and i was begining to dialte and eface. after some debate, my doctor decided to let me go home but only i was on bedrest and then come back and see him in the morning.
as i drove home, i was overwhelmed with the thought that my body, the vessel that was growing this human, was now trying to end it's term of purpose early. what would happen? "it's too early: is all i kept thinking.
i slap myself on the wrist now for doing it, but when i got home, i googled "preterm labor" and read about it from several different sites....all terrifying. baby could be born with short term and long term defects, have to live in the intensive care unit for months, and worse, not survive the birth or die shortly after. i didn't sleep all last night as i felt him moving around and wondering how i could make it so those kicks could one day find their way to a soccer ball in the backyard with his big brother.
this morning, i went to the doctor again. i sat in the waiting room looking at all the different stages of pregnant women and i wondered if they could see the worry on my face; how unsure i was that my tummy would even have the chance to grow big enough to block the view of my feet.
my doctor, a wonderful and caring man, asked me what was going on. we talked about how dangerous it was to go into labor at this point in the pregnancy and how we could delay this boy's arrival. he did another exam, again not the highlight of my day, and it wasn't good news...i had dialted a little more and my body was getting ready to have this baby. my heart sunk. he ordered me to stirct bedrest for the next few days and over the weekend....and he meant strict. nothing but bathroom trips, a shower a day, and food runs to the kitchen for me. this wasn't easy news for me to swallow. i'd have to be off work for a few days, maybe for the next few months. i'd have to sit around all day and not be able to clean, to do laundry, or to play with landon. i'd be sidelined.
so i headed home after stopping by work to explain my plight, and i passed target and thought "til we are able to meet again friend". with the new baby on the way, if this continued down the same path, i wouldn't be doing any shopping for awhile. it was even made clear that if i didn't heed the warning of the doctor and stay rested, than i'd be admitted to the hospital for the next three months. thanks heavens for the internet than....target.com is 24 hours.
so as i sit here, my first day on bedrest of (right now) 5, i'm already bored and hot and wanting to get up and move around. i feel terribly guilty as landon's mommy right now. he doesn't understand why i can't get up and get him snacks or play around with him or go to the park (if it was cool enough). luckily jordan is here and i'm making sure that if i need something, i'm asking nicely and saying please and thank you....i don't want him to think i'm taking advantage of him or make him resent me. for the next 5 days, it's me and the couch or me and bed and hopefully, next time we go to the doctor on tuesday, he'll have good news.
what am i going to do for the next 5 days? i'm going to surf the internet, read, try to sleep, and try not to panic as i try to convince this newcomer that he is in fact trying to bail early and it's not in his best interest. wish me luck! you'll probably see a jack nicholson type blog later this week....no walking and no cleaning and bedrest make nickey go crazy...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
1. "....you like to go to a restuarant and eat in peace". tonight was our friend's ryan birthday and his wife kami and son kade and then our friends rd, jenna, and their two kids sumner and sarajane went out for dinner. we went to california pizza kitchen and the begining of the dinner was fine; hte kids colored and snacked until the food came. as the night progressed, landon yelled for more food, kade and sumner crawled under the table, kade didn't want any of the dinner ordered for him, landon threw his food on the floor, and kade managed to tip over a table and spill some drinks and break a glass. to an outsider, like the people sitting next to us who just so happened to get up and move in the middle of their dinner after almost being drenched in pepsi, it might seem like the table full of kids was chaos and a handful. truth be told it is, but it's so nice to be able to enjoy being out and being all together. so, if you can look past spilt soda, yelling, and possibly disrupting others, you might actually be ready for kids.
2. ".....you like to take your time shopping in the store". i remember when i could spend an hour if desired just aimlessly wondering around a store, looking at everything and sometimes buying nothing. with a child, not only are you looking for particular items, but you're also keeping the tiny one you're with from grabbing everything off the shelf. it isn't the same as shopping for yourself in quiet and with no time restraint, but you get the joy of picking out outfits and shoes and things for your kids to wear which ultimately reflects on you as a parent; the appearance of your child is important. so i want to shop a little less for you and oo and ah a little more for shopping for a toddler (or even more fun, a baby) that you might actually be ready for kids.
3. ".....you like having uniterrupted conversations". my son landon started walking at 10 months and since than, he runs everywhere....including wanting to run at the park, at the store, and at the mall. even though there was a designated play area, landon escaped and ran wild. needless to say that chasing a toddler in a hundred different directions isn't conducive to adult coversations with friends. as soon as you'd start a sentence, it'd be cut short when you've have to dart away to keep landon from making a break for it. also, watching a toddler automatically takes your mind away from what someone is saying to begin with and you aren't meaning to be rude, paying only half attention, but you also have the obligation to make sure your children doesn't disappear. so you have friends that understand that talking to you might have to include a pause and resume button, than you might actually be ready for kids.
4. ".....you like walking around the malll". as previously mentioned, my bubba runs everywhere and just because we are somewhere crowded and unfamiliar, it doesn't stop him for taking off. it gives you some exercise and it keeps our child safe but it's exhausting. so if you don't mind jogging or taking off in a sprint in the mall, you might actually be ready for kids.
5. ".....you like to come and go as you please". with children, so much of what and when you do something revolves around them and their schedule. if they are hungry, bored, hot, or tired than what you are doing is second to them. kids don't know that you are waiting for a check at the restaurant. all they know is that they are done eating and it's time to go. after they've been running around with an abundance of energy and then suddenly slow down, you know they are tired but they don't...which is why they start acting out; throwing tantrums, throwing stuff, hitting, yelling....a tired kid is a shape shifter. you're never sure which version of your child you will get. so if you handle the impatient, tired, bored, hot, clingy child but can take in the deep sigh when they fall asleep on you, than you might actually be ready for kids.
6 "......you like coming home to a clean house". after a nice evening out with our friends, we came home and the wrath of landon he had unleashed on the loft earlier was still there...toys everywhere. also, the mess from lunch was still lingering in the kitchen. but if you can pick it all up and nothing is permantally damaged and it only takes alittle bit of time at the end of the night and than you can enjoy just sitting and doing nothing, than you might actually be ready for kids.
so again, for those of you don't have kids yet for whatever reason, keep in mind that this was one short evening out...not even the whole day. parenting is a marathon, not for the weak or for those who lack endurance. but if you can harness the energy from somewhere, you might actually be ready for kids.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
follow to link to look at some pictures from our trip down the oregon coast and visiting in washington
today was a good day. landon slept in a little bit and then we all had a french toast breakfast. we gave landon his easter present, a ride on fire truck and little people noah's ark set. we held off on giving him candy because he has no limit to how much he can eat and that's all we'd need would be our crazy little boy eating his weight in sugar. this was a peep-less household this year. logan, felicia, and taylor came over. everytime i see that little girl she's a different kid. she pulls herself to stand now and in a few brave moments, let go and stood on her own. she hadn't managed to take those few first steps yet, but i don't think it will be long. her and landon actually interacted this time and played together. we tried to get them together to take notoriously adorable easter pictures with the two of them in their matching easter outfits and after several attempts, we resorted to bribing them with candy, and then eventually gave up. we had a nice lunch and the guys played ping pong and fooseball and the girls talked about the kids (what else). it's funny how adult conversation flip flops between "how's work? how's this and that?" and "you should have seen the tantrum landon threw" or "she still sleeps all the way through the night" once you become a parent. it's almost like there are two personalities speaking from one body.
here is a picasa link to some of our easter pictures.
baby news flash....20 1/2 weeks and i am starting to feel the baby move around throughout the day. it's getting to the point where you can almost feel the movements from the outside. even though we had landon and went through all of the exicting moments, like feeling him kick, it was still as amazing. as i lay half awake this morning, i felt the little flutters and it made me smile. i wanted to wake jordan up to have him feel, but they were very light, as if the baby was just saying "hi, i'm in here and thank you for taking care of me"...and just as i drifted back off to sleep, the movements settled and i think he probably fell asleep to. only four more months until we get to meet this little stranger.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
before we left for vacation, we had a doctor's appointment to do our anatomy ultrasound. the purpose of this visit to evaluate the growth and development of the person growing inside you. our doctor's office finally realized that parents have a hard enough time telling what the gray, white, and black without having to squint on the tiny ultrasound machine. they put in a nice mounted flat screen on the wall and you can watch in comfort as they navigate through the process. the baby looks great. he......yes, it's another boy.....is growing at just the right pace and all his bones and organs look good. it was the perfect way to begin the trip.
landon, jordan, and i flew into seattle with little fuss from landon on the flight. we flew at night and that helped. we stayed the night in a cinematically scary motel with a hunchback front desk attendent who called us at 2am to notify that she didn't know how to work a credit card machine. the phone in our room rang loud enough and eerie enough that it sent chills down my spine. the next morning, the dunn family came to pick us up! it was so good to see them. it's amazing how intact and whole you feel when you're surrounded by family.
we made our way down to seaside oregon. although it was spring break and it was the begininging of april, the oregon coast did not fall in line with typical beach weather. it was about 40 degrees out, windy and raining. being the tourists that we were, we tried not to let it stop us from strolling the streets in search of local fare. seaside is a not a place for those on a diet....it's shore food to the nth degree. corn dogs, salt water taffy, fudge, candy, ice cream, and the like were everywhere. we attempted to enjoy the actual beach but it lasted only a few moments when because the wind almost knocked us off balance. the next day was better weather wise. we started the day with a nice, hearty breakfast at a place called pig and a pancake. we spent the rest of the day at the beach, on the boardwalk, and eating. landon got to take a ride on a carousel for the first time. he loved it, although he sat on some freak of nature flying bunny and then on a giraffe. he loved walking in and out of all the stores. some of the stores were not kid friendly and the "you break it, you buy it" policy was in force, so we kept him close.
after seaside, we drove down the oregon coast and although the drive was long and brought out hte three year old side of my sisters in law, it was so amazing. living here in arizona, there is no blatant beauty. you have see the desert as a beauty in itself, unless you go up north and take in the splendor of the trees and snow. driving down the coast, you see the ocean in all its glory. you can see out to the place where it meets the sky. the worn cliffs are an indicator of how long they've been waiting for you to pass by in awe. we stopped in newport and the sun came out and shined so bright that it sparkled off the water. my little landon headed down the beach, right to the edge of the ocean. he wasn't afraid of it. he approached it as though it should be intimated by him. he put his little feet in the sand and
Saturday, February 7, 2009
he also has picked up a new habit....biting. it could be a result of daycare. he's been bit there a few times. he really doesn't bite anyone else than jordan, unless you asked him to bite you. he likes to bite jordan's feet, which is gross. luckily, jordan keeps his feet clean. here he is today attacking jordan as he was innocently watching tv in the loft. .
Monday, February 2, 2009
landon and taylor were funny too. landon tried to pet her, like he does the cat and dogs. he isn't sure what to "do" with her since she doesn't really move around on her own yet. she just stares at him and laughs. we tried to get landon to give up his cookie before we took the picture but he wasn't having it. in fact, he wanted a second one to hold in his hand.
this month, we have some stuff going on. jordan's birthday is the 6th, our anniversary is the 9th, valentine's day is the 14th. all you guys, don't feel like candy and roses are the only option. be orginial! my friend stephanie is coming for a short visit and i haven't seen her in awhie so it will be good to have a girl's lunch with her. softball starts again, but i'll just be a supporter of my team and kyle plays on it, so that will be fun to watch. i can't play because being pregnant makes me a liability. i'm alittle bummed because even though i'm not great at it, it's fun to play. we're counting down the days to when we get to go to washington for spring break at the end of march.
hope all is well with you and yours. enjoy this short month we'll be having and try to get some mroe sleep...i know i will be :)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
waiting in the waiting room was torture. they had my child back in that chamber and i couldn't be there with him.
the doctor made his way out after a half an hour and came walking towards me, taking his surgery mask off. he told me he was surprised in what he found. landon had swollen tissue in his airways and in the lower right lung, there was some fluid. he explained that there was possibly an onset of pneumonia on top of whatever else was going on. he explained that the underlying cuase could be asthema, or aspiration, or a number of other things. they told me i could see him in recovery in just a few minutes.
after a few mintues, an elderly volunteer came to bring me to my groggy son. he was terrified and found himself waking up in a metal, prison like crib, hooked up to an iv. his eyes hadn't opened all the way when i walked in to see him. he was crying and understandibly so. he threw a fit of massive porportion and it was deserved. i tried to hold him in my arms and he pushed me away, as if he was unleashing this fury to tell me that it was my fault i had let them torture him. after almost an hour of straight anger, he finally settled down enough to drink some juice, a requirement in order for us to leave. he drank it fast and demanded some more. i gave him some milk and then he was back to his old self. he was cracking up the nurses by his one handed chug method of his bottle and his silly alternating of bottle and binky between drinks. i took my little guy home and we just hung out the rest of the day.
the next day, we had to go back to the hospital for the doctors to run another pulse-ox test, which monitors how much oxygen he is getting. they gave us some antibiotic and a steriod to give him and told us that it might get worse for a day or so as he gets past the infection in his lungs and sent us on our way. that night, landon ran a 103 fever most of the night and all he wanted was for his daddy to hold him.
now that we're a couple days out and he's been taking the medicine, he seems to be getting a little better. he's a little sleepier than usual and fussy but we're getting through it.
this weekend, we're taking it really slow. we lounged around in our pajamas most of the day yesterday and today we're going to be glued to the television with the suns playing and the cardinals playing in the championship game. they are playing the eagles and my family is all eagles fans back east so i'm not going to root for either team and just be happy for whoever wins.
happy upcoming week to you all!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
as the morning sickness and fatigue start to sink in, so does the idea that we are going to have another person in our family. everyone that knows, which isn't very many yet, asks us do we want a boy or a girl now. we just want a healthy baby. boy would be easier because we already have all the boy stuff, and it isn't that old, if you could call it old at all. a girl would be fun for many reasons, but large in part to all girly shopping you get to do.
it is strange to think that landon won't be our one and only. it feels almost like we didn't exist before he came. our mornings started a little later and our sundays were lazier, but we didn't exist. now, when he wakes up and coos in his room for us to come get him, the day starts with that light in you that you are alive. you almost wonder if you will have enough of that love for anyone else, but it is eternally flowing....a renewable resource with a smile or a sleepy head on your chest, holding onto you.
we are excited! i'm especially excited because a few of my friends, even one of my best friends, kami, is also pregnant. it will nice to have someone to relate to and it will also be comforting to feel educated about what to expect. i won't be the bumbling new mom-to-be in babies r us asking how everything works "you do what with the diaper genie?"
now, more than ever, i wish we had our family and close friends near by. a lot of our great friends have kids and it would be the best network of people to have close by...and if we had our family, oh my goodness!! dinner tables would be crowded every sunday night and landon and this new one on the way would be surrounded by love.
so wish us luck! i'm sure this blog will update you all and i promise to keep it light and easy on the stomach. it is the miracle of life, but it isn't always glamorous lol i also promise not to make this into Baby Watch 09, like a reporter staked outside giving you updates on the hour....definitely won't be wearing the terrible three piece polyster suit.