Wednesday, January 7, 2009

ready for the repeat?

people always say that God works in mysterious ways. that is true. he has us experience suffering so we can embrace compassion. he tests us and hopes we succeed. he has us endure so we know what we are made of. over the last couple of months, He has been focused on me and having me endure. going to doctor after doctor, having surgery, recovering, going back to work, having my wisdom teeth out....on and on. it has been a rocky road. everything was starting to balance out and resume its normality until there was a seemingly absent presence around new years. a little pink plus sign, ironically shaped like a cross, revealed itself to us and a trip to the doctor on Monday confirmed it....we are expecting! my doctor, a wonderful Mormon man, told me that it must have been a sign from God that i'm okay and that everything will be okay. this expectance is a little sooner then jordan and i had talked about or planned, but God must have felt the need to intervene a little and as my doctor said, show me that the last few months have not been for no reason...cut me a little slack in a way.
as the morning sickness and fatigue start to sink in, so does the idea that we are going to have another person in our family. everyone that knows, which isn't very many yet, asks us do we want a boy or a girl now. we just want a healthy baby. boy would be easier because we already have all the boy stuff, and it isn't that old, if you could call it old at all. a girl would be fun for many reasons, but large in part to all girly shopping you get to do.
it is strange to think that landon won't be our one and only. it feels almost like we didn't exist before he came. our mornings started a little later and our sundays were lazier, but we didn't exist. now, when he wakes up and coos in his room for us to come get him, the day starts with that light in you that you are alive. you almost wonder if you will have enough of that love for anyone else, but it is eternally flowing....a renewable resource with a smile or a sleepy head on your chest, holding onto you.
we are excited! i'm especially excited because a few of my friends, even one of my best friends, kami, is also pregnant. it will nice to have someone to relate to and it will also be comforting to feel educated about what to expect. i won't be the bumbling new mom-to-be in babies r us asking how everything works "you do what with the diaper genie?"
now, more than ever, i wish we had our family and close friends near by. a lot of our great friends have kids and it would be the best network of people to have close by...and if we had our family, oh my goodness!! dinner tables would be crowded every sunday night and landon and this new one on the way would be surrounded by love.
so wish us luck! i'm sure this blog will update you all and i promise to keep it light and easy on the stomach. it is the miracle of life, but it isn't always glamorous lol i also promise not to make this into Baby Watch 09, like a reporter staked outside giving you updates on the hour....definitely won't be wearing the terrible three piece polyster suit.

1 comment:

annabell bash said...

Yippee! Man alive I'm so excited for you! It's funny because just a week or so ago you wrote on my blog:"getting on the old bandwagon again, huh?...Godd luck!" and here you are - sitting on top of the wagon yourself! I'm truly excited for you - best of luck with the "joys" of pregnancy!LOL:)