Tuesday, June 23, 2009

tubes today

when the alarm blared at me at 4:25 this morning, i was half tempted to shut it off and go back to bed because i knew getting up meant taking my bubba in for surgery. i got up and quietly got ready so as not to wake anyone and then tried to get landon ready to go while he was still half asleep. his sleepy little eyes stared at me in the darkness of his room and i whispered to him "hopefully this is the last thing you have to go through honey". i loaded him in the car and we headed off into the sunrise. luckily, he slept the whole way there so he didn't realize that we had skipped the kitchen and breakfast before getting in the car. when we got the hospital, he was so interested in where we were that he didn't think to fuss at all. i understand why they need you to fast before a surgery involving anthesia but it is so unfair to the little ones because they have no idea what's going on. he saw other people eating and a couple times asked "more?" to me, begging for food. we went back to the surgical area waiting and that big obnoxious dinosaur barney kept him entertained with a sing a long tape until it was time for him to go in. something about that dinosaur creeps me out, always has. he kept saying, " we all know this song" and it was a song i'd never heard before, so in a way, he's assuming that your child will request to watch his video over and over again until they no longer feel left out of the choir. bothers me. anyway, they had to come give landon a breathing treatment before he went under anthesia because of his respiratory problems and he was not happy. a big. burly male nurse then pinned his arms to his side and held him for the duration of the treatment. poor kid....manhandled by a giant with brillo pad arm hair and coffee breath. they gave him back to me and i was able to get him to settle down just in time for them to come snatch him away from me. last time he went in for a procedure, i was able to go in with him and wait until he had started to drift off, making it less traumatic. this time, they took him and headed off down the hall, instructing me to the waiting room. landon cried and stretched his little arms for me as they rounded the corner and disappeared. my heart hurt. it was so hard not to cry but i knew if i did, it would probably upset him even more.
it was a fairly quick procedure and he was done within the half hour. i was surprised it went so fast. they didn't have any recovery time or observation time. they told me to pull the car up and they were going to bring me my son, who was waking up from anthesia. last time, we got to wait in recovery for about an hour to make sure he would be okay. i wish they would have done the same this time. they came out and handed me a very scared, confused, drugged up baby and he was so angry. i tried to ease his frustration with his favorite blankie and some chocolate milk but he wasn't having it. for those of you who know the phoenix area, i got to drive from paradise valley hospital to our house in surprise with landon screaming at me in the back. all he wanted was comfort and cuddles and instead, he was strapped down in his seat. from start to finish, the whole way home, even got stopped behind a passing train, he yelled and kicked and threw his binkie at me.
as soon as we got home, he was fine. he went up and saw his daddy and his daddy told him everything was okay. he took a nap and had some lunch and seems to be doing okay. i'm glad. i just hope that this surgery does what it is supposed to do and give the kid some relief from all this discomfort.

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