landon update

tuesday was landon's procedure for his "bronch" as the staff at phoenix children's nicknamed it. the procedure invovled putting our little guy under anthesia and shoving a tube with a camera down his throat. we got the phoenix children's hopsital early in the day. the greatest part about the hospital is that it's meant for kids, so there are lots of distractions that reminded him that he hadn't eaten yet that day. he played with the toys, entertained the receptionsits in the admitting area, and ran around getting in everyone's way. when it was time to go back to the pulmonolgy waiting area, landon was still unsuspecting. he looked all around as we walked down the mile long hallways. the staff all commented on how cute he was and how funny he was. we had to change him into his surgery garb of drawsrting pants and a gown that tied in the back...both of which were gigantic on him. i had to roll the pants up three times to fit him. he muttered around the play area for awhile as a string of doctors and nurses talked with me about his medical history, the procedure, and any concerns i had. approximately twenty mintues before the procedure, landon realized that he hadn't eaten and it was a tragedy. he started crying and wailing and throwing himself down on the ground. luckily the anthesia nurse came in about that time and told us we were ready to go. i held landon as we walked into the surgery center. i'm a grown woman and the room scared me, i couldn't imagine what he must have thought. there were seven people in the room and one of the male staff members stood there with the oxygen mask in his hand. they had me lay him on the table and his little eyes stared out at me as they out the mask on. three nurses took my spot holding him and i stood back, helpless, as he cried out for me from behind the mask that engulfed his little face. my eyes started to well up and that was when i got my exit cue. a brunette nurse took me by the arm and ushered me out the waiting room, telling me that they were going to take good care of him.
waiting in the waiting room was torture. they had my child back in that chamber and i couldn't be there with him.
the doctor made his way out after a half an hour and came walking towards me, taking his surgery mask off. he told me he was surprised in what he found. landon had swollen tissue in his airways and in the lower right lung, there was some fluid. he explained that there was possibly an onset of pneumonia on top of whatever else was going on. he explained that the underlying cuase could be asthema, or aspiration, or a number of other things. they told me i could see him in recovery in just a few minutes.
after a few mintues, an elderly volunteer came to bring me to my groggy son. he was terrified and found himself waking up in a metal, prison like crib, hooked up to an iv. his eyes hadn't opened all the way when i walked in to see him. he was crying and understandibly so. he threw a fit of massive porportion and it was deserved. i tried to hold him in my arms and he pushed me away, as if he was unleashing this fury to tell me that it was my fault i had let them torture him. after almost an hour of straight anger, he finally settled down enough to drink some juice, a requirement in order for us to leave. he drank it fast and demanded some more. i gave him some milk and then he was back to his old self. he was cracking up the nurses by his one handed chug method of his bottle and his silly alternating of bottle and binky between drinks. i took my little guy home and we just hung out the rest of the day.
the next day, we had to go back to the hospital for the doctors to run another pulse-ox test, which monitors how much oxygen he is getting. they gave us some antibiotic and a steriod to give him and told us that it might get worse for a day or so as he gets past the infection in his lungs and sent us on our way. that night, landon ran a 103 fever most of the night and all he wanted was for his daddy to hold him.
now that we're a couple days out and he's been taking the medicine, he seems to be getting a little better. he's a little sleepier than usual and fussy but we're getting through it.
this weekend, we're taking it really slow. we lounged around in our pajamas most of the day yesterday and today we're going to be glued to the television with the suns playing and the cardinals playing in the championship game. they are playing the eagles and my family is all eagles fans back east so i'm not going to root for either team and just be happy for whoever wins.
happy upcoming week to you all!

ready for the repeat?

people always say that God works in mysterious ways. that is true. he has us experience suffering so we can embrace compassion. he tests us and hopes we succeed. he has us endure so we know what we are made of. over the last couple of months, He has been focused on me and having me endure. going to doctor after doctor, having surgery, recovering, going back to work, having my wisdom teeth out....on and on. it has been a rocky road. everything was starting to balance out and resume its normality until there was a seemingly absent presence around new years. a little pink plus sign, ironically shaped like a cross, revealed itself to us and a trip to the doctor on Monday confirmed it....we are expecting! my doctor, a wonderful Mormon man, told me that it must have been a sign from God that i'm okay and that everything will be okay. this expectance is a little sooner then jordan and i had talked about or planned, but God must have felt the need to intervene a little and as my doctor said, show me that the last few months have not been for no reason...cut me a little slack in a way.
as the morning sickness and fatigue start to sink in, so does the idea that we are going to have another person in our family. everyone that knows, which isn't very many yet, asks us do we want a boy or a girl now. we just want a healthy baby. boy would be easier because we already have all the boy stuff, and it isn't that old, if you could call it old at all. a girl would be fun for many reasons, but large in part to all girly shopping you get to do.
it is strange to think that landon won't be our one and only. it feels almost like we didn't exist before he came. our mornings started a little later and our sundays were lazier, but we didn't exist. now, when he wakes up and coos in his room for us to come get him, the day starts with that light in you that you are alive. you almost wonder if you will have enough of that love for anyone else, but it is eternally flowing....a renewable resource with a smile or a sleepy head on your chest, holding onto you.
we are excited! i'm especially excited because a few of my friends, even one of my best friends, kami, is also pregnant. it will nice to have someone to relate to and it will also be comforting to feel educated about what to expect. i won't be the bumbling new mom-to-be in babies r us asking how everything works "you do what with the diaper genie?"
now, more than ever, i wish we had our family and close friends near by. a lot of our great friends have kids and it would be the best network of people to have close by...and if we had our family, oh my goodness!! dinner tables would be crowded every sunday night and landon and this new one on the way would be surrounded by love.
so wish us luck! i'm sure this blog will update you all and i promise to keep it light and easy on the stomach. it is the miracle of life, but it isn't always glamorous lol i also promise not to make this into Baby Watch 09, like a reporter staked outside giving you updates on the hour....definitely won't be wearing the terrible three piece polyster suit.

investing in bad stocks

with the economy the way it is now, everyone is concerned with their hard earned dollars are going. they are worried about the banks and the financial institutions; the market a who's who of fallen industries. people aren't shopping as much as they used to and the ratings for cnn money smart shows are on the rise. people are watching the dow fall and rise and plumit and recover. with all this chaos in the economy, i have been worried about another investment..the people in our lives. the stocks and humans and very much alike. they are subject to change and unpredicitible. when times are good, they are really good and everyone benefits, but when times are bad, that's when the heartache comes. recently, we've been faced with some poor investments much to our dismay. we've been invested a long time and to watch this one human stock suffer has hurt us to the core. the problem is, i especially, didn't know when to get out and stop putting in so much effort. so our shares, our free weekends, get togethers, barbeques, and what not, will be invested elsewhere with a better return.....paying us back in love, laughter, and more. we'll never sell this stock, because like the stockbrokers on wall street, we're going to wait for the day when it all turns around and then you remember why it was so important and relish in the wealth that it brings to your life.