not all it's cracked up to be

i am on my eigth day of bedrest and it is a lot harder than i ever anticipated. i feel like a house cat, laying around until you fall asleep and than just laying there after you wake up. it sounds like a good idea when you have a kid and a husband and house that is a huge job to clean and a full time job, but when it actually happens, it really makes you feel like you don't have a purpose. it's really lonely...especially because landon went to washington with kyle and he's been gone for two days now. i feel like i "shipped" him off but i know that he is having a lot of fun with jordan's family. he loves his grandma kathy!! at first, it was hard just thinking that he'd be away from me. it's strange that he is his own person now. i got really nervous on tuesday when we took them to the airport and i hugged him goodbye at the security checkpoint. i knew that he'd be in good hands with kyle because he is so good with him. landon loves his uncle kyle, they are buddies. when we got home, it was quiet and it was eerie. there weren't toys everywhere, there weren't sippy cups that needed to be rinsed out, and there wasn't a nighttime bath that needed to be done. it was just as it was before, when it was just me and jordan...and it made me miss landon even more.
there was a time where it was just me and jordan, after we moved out from having roommates and after we got married. our nights were spent lounging on the couch, watching movies and tv and our weekends were so laid back. we'd go grocery shopping or to a movie or to dinner. some people really miss the days of nothing, when you could sleep in and go to bed late after they have kids. i feel the opposite. i feel like our life got even better after we had landon. although it's messy and chaotic and tiresome we wouldn't want it any other way. we were having breakfast yesterday morning and it was just us, and something was missing.
today is really lonely. jordan is gone and so is landon and i'm not supposed to be up moving around so i am bored....i did however get up and clean some.....i actually am up more than i should be but bedrest is hard.
next week, i go back to the doctor and he might release me back to work part time and back to light duty which means i can clean and take care of landon when he comes back.....or he might sentence me to another two months of this torture....we'll see.