happy mother's day

i always knew that i wanted to be a mom. when i six, in the first grade, we had to make a big poster board about ourselves and one of the questions was "what to do you want to be when you grow up?" i wrote "a mommy". as i got older, i still had that desire and i was afraid at one point even that i had lost my maternal drive. a trip to babies r us for a gift for my best friend suzi ended with me in tears, sobbing the car about the overwhelming lack of knowledge i had about kids. i knew i wanted to be a mom again when i met my (then boyfriend) jordan and he talked about how we would have kids and we'd be soccer sideline parents and have lazy sunday mornings together. when i was pregnant with landon, i searched the internet for everything mommy to get my bearings beneth me before this human came into our lives. then he came and it was an amazing rush of everything i had ever wanted when he looked at me for the first time. he didn't care what brand diapers i decided to use and he didn't know that i was a foreigner in the baby department..all he knew was i was his mom and that he loved me. mother's day, although some think it just a commercial holiday created by teleflora and sees candy, is the day when us moms get to celebrate those moments....the ones that steal our hearts and consume us in love. the first time you heard your baby say "momma" (regardless of the fact that "dada" propbably came first), the times when they fall asleep on you, cuddle, hug, blow kisses, and smile. without them, we wouldn't get this day. it's a day to celebrate them, and your husband/partner, as much as it is a celebration of you and all you do as a mom.
this morning, my wonderful husband brought me breakfast in bed...and not just because i'm on bedrest......he made crepes from scratch and they were so delicious. we all just got to spend the day together. one of the best things about being a mom, is looking at your husband and son sitting together. they are the best of buddies and landon has been a gift to me, but it is also a gift to jordan....his day is next month :) we went out (for a short time and we didn't walk around much) for ice cream. it was a good day. landon, my lovely son, was a joy for the first part of the day and a monster the second half, only to turn his bubba charm back on right after dinner until bedtime. jekyl and hide with that boy sometimes. at the end of the day, when it was time for bed, he walked with me to bed and i picked him up to put him into his crib and he laid his head on my shoulder and hugged me. he didn't say anything and he didn't have to....it was the perfect silent "i love you mommy" moment. i held him for a minute, rocked him and watched as his little blue eyes grew drowsy. now, jordan and i get to hang out and enjoy the quiet for a few hours before bed (few hours for him, i'll probably be alseep in ten minutes). i can feel this new baby kicking around and although i've felt like a prisoner for the last couple of days and have one more full day to go, i'm full of love for him and all the joy he'll bring to our family.
on mothers day, it is only fair to take the time to appreciate the other moms who have paved the way for you, inspired you, continue to inspire you. i'm am so lucky to have a whole lot of moms who mean the world to me. my own mom, of course, who i would be lost without. she's the person i want to call to talk about everything and nothing with. she's so strong and right now, she's enduring quite a challenge and i hope that she can keep her sanity and make it through this tough time. my mother in law is a superhero, as far as i'm concerned. she has every element of a mother and i admire her immensely. she has been a very strong influence in our lives and i'm so lucky to have her. my mom friends suzi, jenna, anne, and jessica are some of the best moms you'd ever want to know. they have so much love and can learn from them and laugh with them, which is important when you've had no sleep and you're four loads deep in laundry that needs to be put away.
this mothers day, i am especially in awe of my friend kami. she is nearing the end of her pregnancy with little miss kamryn, who we all can't wait to meet. she works a crazy schedule, barely gets to see her husband, and is raising a four year old boy kade, who is my buddy. kami had a hard year last year when she lost her son kooper. throughout this year, she has really impressed me with her strengh and her faith. her connection with God is something to be envious of and it is infectious...one could only hope to have her inner strength and unconditional love. i hope that she knows what a hero of mine she is and how i look to her as an example.
so for all you moms out there, i hope you had a wonderful day today. i know that i did and it's coming to an end but i know that today isn't about the breakfast, the presents, the night out...its about the moments that happen everyday that remind you how blessed you are to have been given the chance to create a life...and to have that person (or people) love you for you everyday of the year.