bailing early...

so far, this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful...and i guess the little guy inside felt it was time to shake things up alittle bit.
on tuesday at work, i started feeling some contractions. i chalked it up to braxton hicks and didn't think much of it. later that night, the contractions started to get worse and painful and made it hard to breathe. i of course did what i always do when i'm not sure if something is or isn't wrong, i called my mom, my mother in law and consulted webmd. apparently. painful contractions aren't the norm this early in the pregnancy. as of wednesday, i'm only 24 weeks along. per the advice of my materal elders, i called the doctor in the morning and asked for his opinion. much to my surprise, they told me to come in right away and be seen in the labor and delivery triage ward. needless to say it wasn't the day i planned. i arrived at work, clocked in, and clocked right back out to head to the hospital. when i got there, they hooked me up to the monitors, one for me and one for the baby to track his heartbeat. the baby's heartbeat was good, steady. my montior was full of peaks and valleys, tracing the strengh and frequency of my contractions. my nurse told me that these weren't the dry run contractions i was used late in my previous pregnancy, these were the real thing....and they were unwelcome. they gave me two rounds of what they call the "stop shot" which is a medicine meant to slow the contractions. this shot made me feel like i chugged a gallon of mountain dew in a matter of seconds. my whole body was shaking and i was really warm. after the two rounds of the shots (which i did well with, no panic attack which i was proud of) they gave me another medicine which is a muscle relaxer also used to treat cardiac conditions. the nurse told me they'd have to do any exam, which was less than thrilling. during the exam, she discovered that these premature contractions were actually working and i was begining to dialte and eface. after some debate, my doctor decided to let me go home but only i was on bedrest and then come back and see him in the morning.
as i drove home, i was overwhelmed with the thought that my body, the vessel that was growing this human, was now trying to end it's term of purpose early. what would happen? "it's too early: is all i kept thinking.
i slap myself on the wrist now for doing it, but when i got home, i googled "preterm labor" and read about it from several different sites....all terrifying. baby could be born with short term and long term defects, have to live in the intensive care unit for months, and worse, not survive the birth or die shortly after. i didn't sleep all last night as i felt him moving around and wondering how i could make it so those kicks could one day find their way to a soccer ball in the backyard with his big brother.
this morning, i went to the doctor again. i sat in the waiting room looking at all the different stages of pregnant women and i wondered if they could see the worry on my face; how unsure i was that my tummy would even have the chance to grow big enough to block the view of my feet.
my doctor, a wonderful and caring man, asked me what was going on. we talked about how dangerous it was to go into labor at this point in the pregnancy and how we could delay this boy's arrival. he did another exam, again not the highlight of my day, and it wasn't good news...i had dialted a little more and my body was getting ready to have this baby. my heart sunk. he ordered me to stirct bedrest for the next few days and over the weekend....and he meant strict. nothing but bathroom trips, a shower a day, and food runs to the kitchen for me. this wasn't easy news for me to swallow. i'd have to be off work for a few days, maybe for the next few months. i'd have to sit around all day and not be able to clean, to do laundry, or to play with landon. i'd be sidelined.
so i headed home after stopping by work to explain my plight, and i passed target and thought "til we are able to meet again friend". with the new baby on the way, if this continued down the same path, i wouldn't be doing any shopping for awhile. it was even made clear that if i didn't heed the warning of the doctor and stay rested, than i'd be admitted to the hospital for the next three months. thanks heavens for the internet than....target.com is 24 hours.
so as i sit here, my first day on bedrest of (right now) 5, i'm already bored and hot and wanting to get up and move around. i feel terribly guilty as landon's mommy right now. he doesn't understand why i can't get up and get him snacks or play around with him or go to the park (if it was cool enough). luckily jordan is here and i'm making sure that if i need something, i'm asking nicely and saying please and thank you....i don't want him to think i'm taking advantage of him or make him resent me. for the next 5 days, it's me and the couch or me and bed and hopefully, next time we go to the doctor on tuesday, he'll have good news.
what am i going to do for the next 5 days? i'm going to surf the internet, read, try to sleep, and try not to panic as i try to convince this newcomer that he is in fact trying to bail early and it's not in his best interest. wish me luck! you'll probably see a jack nicholson type blog later this week....no walking and no cleaning and bedrest make nickey go crazy...

kids might not be for you if.......

for those of you reading this that do not have kids, i'd imagine its because it's not the right time in your life to be reproducing, or you might not be blessed in the fertility department (and i hope that God decides to bless you soon), or you may have just avoided it like a coworker with a cold. for those of you who are simply on the fence on the issue, let me recant our evening in a jeff foxworthy-esqe way, stating "you might want to wait to have kids if....."

1. "....you like to go to a restuarant and eat in peace". tonight was our friend's ryan birthday and his wife kami and son kade and then our friends rd, jenna, and their two kids sumner and sarajane went out for dinner. we went to california pizza kitchen and the begining of the dinner was fine; hte kids colored and snacked until the food came. as the night progressed, landon yelled for more food, kade and sumner crawled under the table, kade didn't want any of the dinner ordered for him, landon threw his food on the floor, and kade managed to tip over a table and spill some drinks and break a glass. to an outsider, like the people sitting next to us who just so happened to get up and move in the middle of their dinner after almost being drenched in pepsi, it might seem like the table full of kids was chaos and a handful. truth be told it is, but it's so nice to be able to enjoy being out and being all together. so, if you can look past spilt soda, yelling, and possibly disrupting others, you might actually be ready for kids.

2. ".....you like to take your time shopping in the store". i remember when i could spend an hour if desired just aimlessly wondering around a store, looking at everything and sometimes buying nothing. with a child, not only are you looking for particular items, but you're also keeping the tiny one you're with from grabbing everything off the shelf. it isn't the same as shopping for yourself in quiet and with no time restraint, but you get the joy of picking out outfits and shoes and things for your kids to wear which ultimately reflects on you as a parent; the appearance of your child is important. so i want to shop a little less for you and oo and ah a little more for shopping for a toddler (or even more fun, a baby) that you might actually be ready for kids.

3. ".....you like having uniterrupted conversations". my son landon started walking at 10 months and since than, he runs everywhere....including wanting to run at the park, at the store, and at the mall. even though there was a designated play area, landon escaped and ran wild. needless to say that chasing a toddler in a hundred different directions isn't conducive to adult coversations with friends. as soon as you'd start a sentence, it'd be cut short when you've have to dart away to keep landon from making a break for it. also, watching a toddler automatically takes your mind away from what someone is saying to begin with and you aren't meaning to be rude, paying only half attention, but you also have the obligation to make sure your children doesn't disappear. so you have friends that understand that talking to you might have to include a pause and resume button, than you might actually be ready for kids.

4. ".....you like walking around the malll". as previously mentioned, my bubba runs everywhere and just because we are somewhere crowded and unfamiliar, it doesn't stop him for taking off. it gives you some exercise and it keeps our child safe but it's exhausting. so if you don't mind jogging or taking off in a sprint in the mall, you might actually be ready for kids.

5. ".....you like to come and go as you please". with children, so much of what and when you do something revolves around them and their schedule. if they are hungry, bored, hot, or tired than what you are doing is second to them. kids don't know that you are waiting for a check at the restaurant. all they know is that they are done eating and it's time to go. after they've been running around with an abundance of energy and then suddenly slow down, you know they are tired but they don't...which is why they start acting out; throwing tantrums, throwing stuff, hitting, yelling....a tired kid is a shape shifter. you're never sure which version of your child you will get. so if you handle the impatient, tired, bored, hot, clingy child but can take in the deep sigh when they fall asleep on you, than you might actually be ready for kids.

6 "......you like coming home to a clean house". after a nice evening out with our friends, we came home and the wrath of landon he had unleashed on the loft earlier was still there...toys everywhere. also, the mess from lunch was still lingering in the kitchen. but if you can pick it all up and nothing is permantally damaged and it only takes alittle bit of time at the end of the night and than you can enjoy just sitting and doing nothing, than you might actually be ready for kids.

so again, for those of you don't have kids yet for whatever reason, keep in mind that this was one short evening out...not even the whole day. parenting is a marathon, not for the weak or for those who lack endurance. but if you can harness the energy from somewhere, you might actually be ready for kids.

pics from our trip

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/TripToWashingtonAndOregon#

follow to link to look at some pictures from our trip down the oregon coast and visiting in washington

happy easter

random, but easter has always been a curious holiday for me. the comedian jim gaffigan said it best when he asked why the symbol for easter began a bunny. someone in a marketing meeting asks why a bunny? a the guy says, don't worry, there's eggs. i wonder how a bunny got associated with the ressurection of christ. it's not like he came back to the earth bearing jelly beans and hopping around. he didn't gift the people who believed in him small, lop eared animals......anyway....


today was a good day. landon slept in a little bit and then we all had a french toast breakfast. we gave landon his easter present, a ride on fire truck and little people noah's ark set. we held off on giving him candy because he has no limit to how much he can eat and that's all we'd need would be our crazy little boy eating his weight in sugar. this was a peep-less household this year. logan, felicia, and taylor came over. everytime i see that little girl she's a different kid. she pulls herself to stand now and in a few brave moments, let go and stood on her own. she hadn't managed to take those few first steps yet, but i don't think it will be long. her and landon actually interacted this time and played together. we tried to get them together to take notoriously adorable easter pictures with the two of them in their matching easter outfits and after several attempts, we resorted to bribing them with candy, and then eventually gave up. we had a nice lunch and the guys played ping pong and fooseball and the girls talked about the kids (what else). it's funny how adult conversation flip flops between "how's work? how's this and that?" and "you should have seen the tantrum landon threw" or "she still sleeps all the way through the night" once you become a parent. it's almost like there are two personalities speaking from one body.

here is a picasa link to some of our easter pictures.
http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/Easter09#


baby news flash....20 1/2 weeks and i am starting to feel the baby move around throughout the day. it's getting to the point where you can almost feel the movements from the outside. even though we had landon and went through all of the exicting moments, like feeling him kick, it was still as amazing. as i lay half awake this morning, i felt the little flutters and it made me smile. i wanted to wake jordan up to have him feel, but they were very light, as if the baby was just saying "hi, i'm in here and thank you for taking care of me"...and just as i drifted back off to sleep, the movements settled and i think he probably fell asleep to. only four more months until we get to meet this little stranger.

a busy couple of weeks

now that i have a few free moments, i'd thought i'd catch everyone up on what has been happening with the phoenix dunn family. we just got back this weekend from our trip to washington and oregon. the vacation couldn't have come a better time. when life gets stagnant and even getting up in the morning to greet a new day seems tiresome, it's time to take a step back and relax to gain perspective again.



before we left for vacation, we had a doctor's appointment to do our anatomy ultrasound. the purpose of this visit to evaluate the growth and development of the person growing inside you. our doctor's office finally realized that parents have a hard enough time telling what the gray, white, and black without having to squint on the tiny ultrasound machine. they put in a nice mounted flat screen on the wall and you can watch in comfort as they navigate through the process. the baby looks great. he......yes, it's another boy.....is growing at just the right pace and all his bones and organs look good. it was the perfect way to begin the trip.



landon, jordan, and i flew into seattle with little fuss from landon on the flight. we flew at night and that helped. we stayed the night in a cinematically scary motel with a hunchback front desk attendent who called us at 2am to notify that she didn't know how to work a credit card machine. the phone in our room rang loud enough and eerie enough that it sent chills down my spine. the next morning, the dunn family came to pick us up! it was so good to see them. it's amazing how intact and whole you feel when you're surrounded by family.



we made our way down to seaside oregon. although it was spring break and it was the begininging of april, the oregon coast did not fall in line with typical beach weather. it was about 40 degrees out, windy and raining. being the tourists that we were, we tried not to let it stop us from strolling the streets in search of local fare. seaside is a not a place for those on a diet....it's shore food to the nth degree. corn dogs, salt water taffy, fudge, candy, ice cream, and the like were everywhere. we attempted to enjoy the actual beach but it lasted only a few moments when because the wind almost knocked us off balance. the next day was better weather wise. we started the day with a nice, hearty breakfast at a place called pig and a pancake. we spent the rest of the day at the beach, on the boardwalk, and eating. landon got to take a ride on a carousel for the first time. he loved it, although he sat on some freak of nature flying bunny and then on a giraffe. he loved walking in and out of all the stores. some of the stores were not kid friendly and the "you break it, you buy it" policy was in force, so we kept him close.



after seaside, we drove down the oregon coast and although the drive was long and brought out hte three year old side of my sisters in law, it was so amazing. living here in arizona, there is no blatant beauty. you have see the desert as a beauty in itself, unless you go up north and take in the splendor of the trees and snow. driving down the coast, you see the ocean in all its glory. you can see out to the place where it meets the sky. the worn cliffs are an indicator of how long they've been waiting for you to pass by in awe. we stopped in newport and the sun came out and shined so bright that it sparkled off the water. my little landon headed down the beach, right to the edge of the ocean. he wasn't afraid of it. he approached it as though it should be intimated by him. he put his little feet in the sand and

our silly bubba boy

today was a just a lazy saturday. it's so good to spend some time with landon. today, he was being pretty silly. he just learned to "dance" and i'm not sure what to call his style. he likes banjo music and fall out boy and dances like he's in a mosh pit. his arms swing around but really no other part of his body moves, although he's starting to get his legs into it a little.

he also has picked up a new habit....biting. it could be a result of daycare. he's been bit there a few times. he really doesn't bite anyone else than jordan, unless you asked him to bite you. he likes to bite jordan's feet, which is gross. luckily, jordan keeps his feet clean. here he is today attacking jordan as he was innocently watching tv in the loft. .

one down, eleven to go

the first month of 2009 has come and gone. it was a fairly busy month for us too.

landon went back to the children's hospital and had to do a test that monitored his swallowing. they found that landon is aspirating, meaning taking fluid and food into his lungs. the doctors are telling me that could be why he is so sick all the time; once the bacteria gets into his lungs, there aren't antibodies to fight the virus or infection and they just compound on one another. when he had the test done, he had strep pneumonia and the parainfluenza virus at the same time. with some strong antibiotics and a steriod hormone, the virus cleared up and now we're back to the noisy breathing and the scary thought that if he takes too much fluid into his lungs, he could drown while trying to breathe. the doctors are telling us not to worry to that extreme, that he should grow out of it. if he doesn't, they will perform some type of surgery to regulate his fluid intake. for now, it's one day at a time and that's really all we can do.

landon also got his first official haricut. he were just intending to trim up some hair in the back and on the sides that had gotten out of control. landon didn't realize that he was supposed to stay still and moved just as we took the shaver to his head. a couple big chunks of his light blonde hair fell to the ground. we tried to salvage what we could and at some point, we decided there was no saving most of his hair. we decided to just buzz it all off and leave only a strip of hair on the top of his head, forming a mohawk kind of look. here he is with a disapproving look in his face as we were in the middle of coming up with a game plan. it turned out pretty cute though and we kept getting comments on it the whole next week at daycare and when he came with us to the store. it's hard for him not to be cute, and i'm not just saying that because he's mine. hundreds of strangers have confirmed it :) here is the mohawk after a couple of days of growth.

as far as the one that's growing, everything is going well. i've been tired and having a hard time eating. jordan gets frustrated because dinner never is a good time for me to eat. i get evening sickness, instead of morning sickness. sometimes cereal or a bagel or nothing sounds best. i always can stomach some grapefruit soda though. meat doesn't seem to be as big as a problem as it was with landon. i was a complete vegan for the first seven months with landon; no meat, not even chicken. it made me so sick. i've been able to eat some meat and hot dogs, so it isn't so bad. i'm getting to the end of the first trimester and i couldn't be happier. the first three months are rough....trouble sleeping, wanting to sleep all the time, feeling sick, being sick, and getting that doughy middle section again. ugh. we have a doctor's appointment on friday. hopefully we'll be able to hear the heartbeat then.

yesterday was superbowl. everyone here in arizona was going cardinal crazy! they were buying everything cardinals and the funny thing is that these people could've cared less about the team three months ago. they don't even know the names of the players but they wear the jerseys and the tshirts. it was ridiculous. being that my family is from pennslyvania and the eagles got knocked out by the cardinals, i figured they would be routing for the steelers...and they were. i wasn't routing for either team, i was just hoping for a good game...and it was!!! it was exciting and it was fun to hang out with our friends and family. we all went to ryan and kami's house. logan, felicia, taylor came over and so did kyle and his girlfriend jorden. watching the game, playing with the kids, and just enjoying each other's company is always the best way to spend a sunday. here is me and taylor. she is turning into a kid now, no longer in the baby-baby phase. she sits up on her own and tries to pull herself to crawl. she is so mild and calm compared to our crazy boys, landon and kade.

the boys were so funny. they were running around, playing with guns and balls and all kinds of toys. landon likes to mimic what kade does and kade copies landon. here they both are sitting under the table for no other reason than they just wanted to sit there i guess. landon was busy rifling through felicia's purse.

landon and taylor were funny too. landon tried to pet her, like he does the cat and dogs. he isn't sure what to "do" with her since she doesn't really move around on her own yet. she just stares at him and laughs. we tried to get landon to give up his cookie before we took the picture but he wasn't having it. in fact, he wanted a second one to hold in his hand.

this month, we have some stuff going on. jordan's birthday is the 6th, our anniversary is the 9th, valentine's day is the 14th. all you guys, don't feel like candy and roses are the only option. be orginial! my friend stephanie is coming for a short visit and i haven't seen her in awhie so it will be good to have a girl's lunch with her. softball starts again, but i'll just be a supporter of my team and kyle plays on it, so that will be fun to watch. i can't play because being pregnant makes me a liability. i'm alittle bummed because even though i'm not great at it, it's fun to play. we're counting down the days to when we get to go to washington for spring break at the end of march.

hope all is well with you and yours. enjoy this short month we'll be having and try to get some mroe sleep...i know i will be :)