Jordan and I were spending this Fourth of July with our good friends the Perrys and we were looking back on our worst Fourth from a few years ago and were telling them about it and so I thought I'd bring you all along on memory lane....
Jordan and I went to Tempe Towne Lake for the Fourth of July Festival reluctantly. We didn't really want to go in the first place because it was going to be crowded and hot but I ended up with free tickets. After debating with the roommates on who was going to drive, Jordan got designated as the driver for the four of us going. All went well until we decided to leave early during the firework show to beat the traffic out of Tempe.
So we start heading out of Tempe and are on the Stack, where the freeways overlap/merge and boom! The driver side of the civic tire blows out and we are on the bridge with really nowhere to pull over really. We get as close to the side of the road as we can and pop the trunk for the spare and jack. A police officer has pulled up to assist us and she is this tiny little officer from Minnesota. So she and Jordan are jacking up the car and we realize that it's the wrong spare...for a totally different car. As we realize this, the Civic falls and the jack punches a hole through the floorboard, nearly crushing the officer. Luckily it didn't. So at this point, the fireworks are over and the bridge is packed with traffic. Our pair of roommates grab a ride with a friend driving by and leave us there to deal with our impaled car. We call a tow truck and while we're waiting, Jordan's nose starts bleeding, or hemorrhaging rather. Bleeding just all over the place. The little officer is trying to help him but it is just gushing out.
Finally the tow truck guy gets through traffic and it takes him almost an hour to hitch the car up and Jordan and I get into the cab with him to take it to the repair place. He was like a sweaty hairy man too, not one you'd want to share an already awkward ride with. He takes us to this place (which is closed because it's like midnight at this point and it will be closed for the weekend/observance of the holiday for like 3 days) on 44th street and Thomas, which if you know Phoenix is not the best place to be stranded at in the middle of the night. He makes us pay him and then he just leaves us there. So Jordan and I go to a Circle K and call our roommates to have them come get us because it's late and we just paid the tow truck guy so we don't want to have to pay for a cab too. They agree to come get us but we have to wait at this shady gas station.
While we're waiting at the gas station, this homeless man comes round and is drunk and belligerent and starts hassling people pumping gas. Then he hones in on this African American man and starts calling him racial slurs and swearing at him. The gas pumping man isn't having it and straight up decks this bum in the face and starts beating him up and yelling at him and then gets in his car and leaves. Jordan and I are just standing there watching it go down and instead of leaving to nurse his wounds under a freeway overpass, he gets up all bloodied and bruised and starts harassing other patrons. We thought someone was gonna get shot for sure while we were there....
Our roommates got there and came to get us and it was like 4am before we got home....so much for 'leaving early" from the Festival.
And that was our worst Fourth and why we haven't been back to Tempe Towne Lake since.
