phoenix dunn family

2011 in the Dunn house

2011-12-15T15:53:00.000-08:00

Wow! Can't believe we're almost done with 2011. Seems like it goes by faster and faster each year.

If you're a FB follower of mine, you're probably pretty up to speed with what's been going on with us this year. If you aren't a FB follower, you're missing out lol I like to post all the silly things the boys do and say, pictures, and stories all the time. it makes for good reading....especially if i'm doing status updates while under heavy sedation or anethesia after surgery.

We've been blessed (fingers crossed) that for the better part of the year, everyone has been healthy. We're definitely hoping that continues into next year.

Jordan and I had our 5 year anniversary this year and our 10 year "dating" anniversary. Good news is he still likes me after all this time :)

Dylan turned 2 in August. He is the funniest little man. Anytime you call him a baby, he promptly says in his gruffy little voice, "i'm not a baby. i'm a big boy". he is a jokster and he loves to do everything his big brother does. he is such a sweet and loving little boy, but don't let that big smile fool you...he is going through the terrible twos and boy is it terrible at times. he has his mommy's temper which isn't good for anyone who crosses his path. if he didn't know we were irish, you would when you see how mad he gets during his tantrums, but he's learned about time out this year and how to say "sorry".

Landon turned 4 in October. He is still a ball of energy and super smart. he cracks us up with his toddler inteligence and observations of life around him. He is a really good big brother and him and Dylan are the best of buddies and partners in crime. Throw their cousin Taylor in the mix and they are a pack of wild ones, but tons of fun. He is going in for a sleep study next week (finally) to see if we can pinpoint the reason that he still doesn't sleep at night. Wish us luck with that!!

Now that the boys are a little older, and we have two boys, we get the question a lot "when are you going to try for a girl?" After talking about it, I think we decided that it will be next year sometime but aren't sure when. We have some wonderful couples we know and family members that would like a baby and we're waiting for one of them to go first since we're ahead of the pack. So any of you on the baby path, feel free to lead the way; we'll be trailing, supporting you in anyway we can.

We got to have some amazing adventures this year. We went to Seattle and Canada, San Diego, and Hawaii!! We got to go through the Mesa Temple with our boys which was incredible. We got to spend some good quality time with our family which is the greatest thing.

As we come to the end of the year, we want to wish everyone a safe, happy, healthy New Year and a very Merry Christmas. We are so fortunate and lucky to have the people we do in our lives and we wish the very best for you all in 2012. Lots and lots of love, Nickey, Jordan, Landon, and Dylan

2011 update

2011-06-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

So a friend of mine pointed out how terrible I've been about updating my blog and she's right. Let's see what's been happening with us this year so far, now that we're half way through.

The first part of the year was actually pretty rough for me. I didn't start off too well. I had a very scary encounter in a parking lot with a strange man who tried to abduct me by pulling me into his vehicle. Thank heavens for an innocent passerby who scared the assailant away just as he was on the verge of wearing me down in our struggle and getting me into his car. As of today, still no word from the police. He got away. I just hope that he doesn't succeed with some other poor girl. I'm fine physically. I just won't be visiting a particular post office ever again and now I walk around with mace in my purse.

Then a week later, I got really really sick and got to take a lovely trip to John C Lincoln. I had to wait for 4 1/2 hours to be seen. I had a pretty serious lung infection and then got costochondritis, which is fluid build up around the heart. That was horrible; I felt like I was having a heart attack. It took me a week or two to get better.

Then in March, I had to go in for surgery yet again. I had to have my right ovary out. The doctor said it was problematic.

April was great! We have a lot of birthdays to celebrate in April, and Easter. So it gave us some time to spend with friends and family. For my birthday, Jordan planned a really great day for us. We went and got a couple's massage and had lunch. We got to enjoy mild weather before it got too too hot here in Phoenix. We had both the USAA company picnic at Castles and Coasters and the ECare family BBQ. Both were really fun. Pictures can be seen of all our fun on either Facebook or our Picasa account https://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10

May brought really warm weather and....wait for it....yet another surgery for me. This time, the cyst was on my left ovary and it grew to be the size of a tennis ball almost. The doctors tried to shrink it with medicine but it made it angry I guess so it got bigger instead. I also found out that I have minor kidney reflux. This time, the recovery was rough. I had to, of course, stay at the hospital even though it was scheduled outpatient. I try to tell them that doesn't work out for me but they didn't listen and had to admit me after surgery because my kidneys and bladder went to sleep and wouldn't wake up. It was pretty awful. It was painful and the doctor didn't know why I was getting cysts still, since they had never been on the left side. I go see a specialist this week and hopefully he can get some answers for me...other then taking everything out or getting pregnant. My doctor is funny. He said "you know, if you were in a state of pregnancy, those cysts wouldn't populate. You could try for a little girl"...pushing his agenda..I laughed. Jordan and I are 50 50 on having anymore anyway...we aren't against it but we aren't pursuing it at this time.

Things got better in June though. My mother in law came to visit for my niece's birthday. We were all so happy to have her here. We all got to go to Washington. We went to my brother in law Nick's graduation and were so proud to watch him graduate from high school. We got to spend time with friends and family and got some much needed time to relax and for me to recover. Jordan and I had our 5 year wedding anniversary and got to get a night away in Vancouver BC. It was the Stanley Cup playoffs so the city was crazy! We went and drove through Stanley Park and then went on a hike through Lynn Canyon Park to the waterfall and suspension bridge. It was scary but I sucked it up and walked across the bridge. Jordan got to go to Eastern WA and spend time with his best friend Paul and I got to go have ladies's night and play Bingo, which was so much fun. We got to meet up with the Francis family which we love to do when we are there. They crack us up! We got to take our kids to Mulkiteo Beach and let the kids play in the sand and the water and then get some Ivars for lunch. We got to do some fun stuff with the kids too. Landon got to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 with his Aunties and he was so excited!We went to Point Defiance Zoo. We got to take the kids on a tour of the Seattle Center, with the fountain, the science center and Pike Place. My friend Tim and his family opened up Absolute Airpark, which is an indoor trampoline park and it was amazing. It was so much fun, and a really good work out too. They just opened so anyone that is looking for a great time, they are located in Arlington off 67th and it's such a great deal for fun with groups, kids, aerobics, or date night. Jordan and I got to go to our friend's wedding. Nick was Jordan's college roommate and we were so happy to be there for him and Kira on their big day. It was a busy time but so much fun.

The thing I loved about it the most was seeing how happy my kids were. They loved it there. They loved being close to family and playing with Sammi, Ryan, Rush, and Gracie. They loved being outdoors. The rain didn't bother them at all when it did rain. There is so much to do there; parks, beaches, rivers, hiking, lakes, zoos, museums, family dinners, adventures for them. I felt guilty taking them away from it all. I usually get a little "homesick" when I leave there but this time, it was a very sad goodbye. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that we were really were supposed to be there; close to the people there that love us. Arizona has it's advantages too but there is just something different about being there...I miss it terribly and know the boys do too.

Going forward into the summer, the heat has officially kicked in. It was 110 today. Ick. Landon came outside with me and he said "it's so hot, it hurts my eyes. the sun is mean to me." I'm not looking forward to 4 more months of this.

As far as the boys go, they have been the opposite of me health wise..they are doing great. Seems that we trade off that way..when they are fine, I'm a mess and vice versa. Landon is going to be 4 in October. He's doing really well after he had surgery at the beginning of this year to remove his tonsils and adenoids. He is talking a lot better and asks and says the funniest things. He is potty trained finally!!! He barely ever has accidents. Dylan is doing great too. He will be 2 in August and he is starting to talk so much. He has the funniest little personality and can be very sweet but oh boy, does he have a temper on him. The boys really starting thriving once we took them out of public daycare and moved them towards the end of the year last year to in-home daycare. The women that have been caring for them are so wonderful. They love my boys and make sure that they are learning and safe and having fun. They haven't barely been sick and aren't coming home with bite marks anymore, thank goodness. Jordan is doing okay too. He is still liking his job change in IT with Cox. Basketball season was a little disappointing for us this year, since the Suns didn't make the playoffs but the Mavs and Heat gave us some good games to watch. At the moment, we are watching the US and Mexico in the Gold Cup (soccer). Soon we're gonna put Landon in soccer and he can't wait.

I'm going to try and be better about updates so check back soon.

hot pockets...

2010-11-28T08:56:00.000-08:00

Last night Jordan and I got to go see Jim Gaffigan at the Comerica (previously dodge) theater.

I was excited to see Gaffigan live because I had been following him as a comic even before he had Comedy Central Specials or Cd's. His timing and delivery are classic.

This was a show with all new material, which is probably why the security told everyone at the door " no pictures or video, not even on your cell phone". There was one opening act by a comic named Jordan Rubin. He had an interesting style. He would pause in between his jokes to make it seem like he forgot what he was going to say and it would make the next punchline seem random, but it all came together. He had a good joke that hit well with the audience about the rapper Mystikal. He did a good job of warming up the crowd for Gaffigan.

Gaffigan's act did not disappoint for the long time fans and roped in new fans. The main focus of his act was about working out (or lack there of), the gym, the glory and disgust of McDonald's, the facade that is Subway, hotel living and hotel indoor pools, and whales. It seems like a far leap from talking about the creepy guy who stares at the women on the hip abductor machines to whale blubber but it flowed seamlessly. The show kept the audience engaged and laughing in hysterics. It was a well timed show, lasting about an hour and half. Gaffigan left the stage and the audience cheered for an encore and without disappointment, he came out and gave the crowd what they wanted to hear....the hot pockets skit. He added new some material to the older, adored jokes about the microwave favorite. He even threw in a shout out to bacon, which was a big focus in his last special "King Baby"; it was subtle but it got a big reaction.

As a long time fan, I loved his new stuff. Jordan made a good observation about how, for the most part, his act is pretty clean as far as comics nowadays goes. Even though it isn't packed full of swear words and filth, his jokes are relatable and hilarious. I'll watch this special over and over again when it comes out on cable.

as we get ready for the holidays....

2010-11-16T17:46:00.001-08:00

i can't believe that it is almost the end of the year already. thanksgiving is nearly here which means that the "holiday rush" will be quickly upon us. looking back on the year, it has been a very crazy year for us. work, jordan changing jobs, me having surgery twice this year, a camera crew in our house, dylan turning one, landon turning three, and most recently landon's surgery.....breathe....

almost all a blur of chaos.

thinking about all, it really puts some overly consumed, commercially brainwashed yuletide shoppers into perspective. this year, i really find myself a little peeved at the fact that christmas is being shoved down our throats, starting the week of halloween. i used to remember how there was a building of anticipation about christmas. as turkey day came to close with full tummies and football, your mind started to wonder, thinking about picking out a tree and decorating the house. the black friday shoppers would get up, fuel themselves with starbucks and pepsi and the rest of us would be enjoying a leisurely three day weekend (if we were lucky to have friday off). then the christmas season began; holiday parties, ugly sweaters making their way out of the very back of the closet, lists were created for Santa.....it used to be a month long production. as the days windled down, the house would smell like pine and apples and cinnamon and the kids would be on th every beset behavior so as not to blow their chance at getting gifts at the last minute. family traditions would take place. pajamas and cookies christmas eve, opening just one present to tide you over til morning., parents up all night wrapping gifts, enjoying the silence......then it was here.....joy, prayers, blessings, breakfast, presents, love, food...it was all intertwined and it was something to be cherished.

maybe it is the current state of the economy that is making such a push in the red and green direction...retailers desperate to make those end of year goals....but the commercial part of christmas is really being over commercialized to the point of being obnoxious. the lists have already been drawn up, the shopping has already began and in some cases ended, people have already began to stress about the crowds, the lines, the lack of supply for demand.....i might sound a

little beyond my years but i miss the slower simpler times.

this year, for us, it will be about much more than gift cards and presents. we are going to make it about family, about spirit, appreciating the real reason we get this holiday to begin with, the gift and that was given to the world. that will be my job this year....not running around like a mad person off their meds looking for the toy that sold out a month ago...but instilling these important values in my kids.

happy start to the holidays all! may it be a safe and merry one for you

get a life...

2010-10-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

with the intense topic and subject matter of the show, people are bound to form some opions. everyone is entitled to what they think and can say..but some people should keep their mouths shut and their hands off their keyboards.
some of the message boards and the articles are portraying women and men with eating disorders as attention starved head cases that should just shove a hamburger down their throat and get it over with. well i took it upon myself to stick it to a guy that, really, had no place posting what he did.

"nickcini, Bravo for managing to spit such hate about people you've never met and spell 50% of it correctly. People suffering from (your spelling) anerexia and other very serious disorders are more complex than you make us out to be. If you took all the energy you spent seeking out a website about people with eating disorders, watching a youtube clip, searching for the show's website, and then making some uneducated responses in a message forum, odds are you wouldn't be the one desperatly seeking some attention and instead, contributing something productive to society. My guess is that you are somehow suffering from your own form a disease that you don't understand because you are two busy pointing fingers at others. Don't talk about adding fuel to a fire with this kind of show when you are the one openly offering your judgemental opinions; those are the kindling to the flames. These women and men are brave, courageous and deep...they are troubled, suffering, and some really want the help...and who are you to say that they aren't really sick? My recommendation to you is that before you begin dabbling in physiological illness, behaviors, and treatments, you check your immaturity at the door or no one will take you seriously, not that many will with your childish name calling and bullying..I also recommend spell check"

as most of you might know.....

2010-10-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

....our family was participating in a documentary series with the E channel about the treatment of eating disorders. If you didn't know, I am trying to recover from a long spanning intertwined combination of OCD, annorexia and body dismorphia. I did the show so people could really identify and come to terms with their own struggles, try to help someone get help for themselves.

If anyone has any questions for me about anything....me, eating disorders in general, what the show is about, anything...please ask. that is the point.

As for me, it's a work in progress. some days are easy and some are so difficult that I can't imagine at 6am how I'll make it through the day without breaking down and crawling into bed until the next morning. I have a great family, and a great group of friends, and a doctor and dietician that are skilled in their specialties and so we shall see what the future holds...hopefully this will all be a sad afterthought years from now because i'll be too happy being normal and enjoying life as it was meant to be cherished.

2010-06-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

you think that its gonna be just another day when you get to work and sit at your desk to take calls and the you hear that a friend of yours won't be coming in to work..ever again. My friend mary died last night from a self inflicted gunshot wound..and just like that, a piece of this worl was gone. She was the sweetest, funniest person with a huge heart and a smile that would light up the room and as a team mate, she made the days a little bit better just talking with her. I saw her this week and we stopped and had a short conversation between calls and and bathroom trips and she made me smile and laugh and then we were on our way....and that short conversation about how busy it was and how the calls never stop was the last time we were going to chit chat. I was trying at work this morning after I heard to stay calm and strong and not let on..until I got up to go to the bathroom and walked right by her empty desk..and it was truly empy..she wouldn't be coming in to put her sweatshirt on and her headset. It was all just there....waiting for her.
I always had heard that people who commit suicide prepare...give things away, clean up, tie up loose ends..this desk was unfinsihed business and left no indication that she was not returning to it.
it was so unexpected...
as someone who once tried and thought about suicide in my youthful days, when I didn't and couldn't see the value of life, I shutter now to think what I would have missed had I been successful. I saw the hurting in peoples faces today and saw them wipe their tears and I would hate to think I had caused such a deep rooted pain in someone...your heart actually hurts.I can only imagine how her family must feel because I have the pleasure of knowing some of her friends and they have an abundance of love and they are suffering the loss...her family must be too at such an incredible level.. I said a prayer for mary and her family and friends and I hope heavenly father hears it and grants us comfort and one day, we'll understand why that day..at that moment she felt she had to leave. I hope mary has some peace now and surrounded with love and receives the love lofting from the earth.

dylan's 9 months old

2010-05-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

my little tank is 9 months old today. it's hard to believe. he's old as the time it took to make him and he's so different than that little boy i met that first day.
although is pretty relaxed and chill most of the time, he is also the squirmiest baby ever! it is impossible to change him or change his clothes or get him to lay flat on his back for more than a second. he's hard to hold because he moves so much..plus, he's kind of heavy. we went to his 9 mth check up and he weighs 18.2 pounds, down a little from last time because he is more active now.
he crawls really fast and he pulls himseld up to stand. a couple days ago he figured out that standing leads to walking when he's holding onto something. landon walked at 10 months so i won't be surprised if he starts taking off pretty soon.
he still doesn't sleep all the way through the night and that is still really rough...on me..it doesn't seem to bother him.
he has the best laugh!! it's like a squeaky toy, just like how landon's used to be. he laughs a lot and mostly at landon..his brother tries to make him smile all of the time, well, most of the time.
his allergies are still a big problem and he breaks out in rashes, hives, runny noses and we are trying to keep in managed well but sometimes, nothing helps except taking him inside and giving him a breathing treatment and some zyrtec. poor baby.
he babbles and says 'mummum' and 'dada' and 'bubba' which is adorable and hard to resist picking him up when he's tugging on your leg. he loved having our family come to visit over the last couple of months and really loves his uncle kyle, just like his brother.

speaking of...

landon has been a handful lately. as he gets to the three year old mark he is getting more and more verbal and that is so fantastic considering his delay and hearing problems but at the same time, he says the things you don't want to hear...."no" and different variations of "no". it's so frustrating. he says "no" even to the things he does want sometimes. he is so curious and adventurous and it leads to lots of bumps and bruises. as for his health, he seems to be improving. we stopped taking him to all the doctors, took him off all the medicine and have making sure he gets some sleep, eats well, and gets lots of healthy exercise. even though he makes me crazy, he is the light of my life! he says "i love you. i missed you" and all the things that melt your heart. he loves to say prayers and is really good at reminding us to say them at dinner and breakfast. he is really athletic and is getting better with his coordination. i can't wait for him to be able to play organized sports!! it's gonna be awesome!

these boys...they are so much work and they take some much out of me but they give me so much at the same time...how this is possible, i don't know and i probably never will know. maybe we have some kind of solar rechargeable mom battery implanted in our bodies somewhere....it sure isn't sleep or laundry that keep us going so that must be some explaination.

so long 25

2010-04-16T16:18:00.000-07:00

there is always that one person around your birthday that asks that same question, and i dread it every year......."so are you where you thought you'd be at 26?" i always wonder at what age this expectation was set at....am i where i thought i'd be at 26 when i was 10? 15? 25? so vague. the answer in the broad sense of the word is yes and no.

when i was seven, all i wanted to be when i grew up was a mommy...accomplished.

when i was age 8-25 all i wanted to be was a writer.....failed...i have all of these things that i have written and they are sitting around, collecting dust, benefiting no one. i always thought by now i'd be a moderatly successful writer, by which i mean that someone else than my mom owned a copy of something i'd wrote. bless her though that if i did and it made it to barnes and noble, she'd buy like 10 copies and have me sign them all. i never anticpated to become some famous writer, that people discussed in small book clubs over cucumber sandwiches but a mere positive review in a regional newspaper somewhere would have sufficed. i wish so badly that this could be something i could full time on....tracking down publishers, illustrators, and getting carpal tunnel syndrome from typing all day...sigh..i guess this is a new year.

when i was 22, i wanted to be wedding gown skinny my whole life..failed as a result of previously mentioned motherhood...i'll admit that for my age and for having two kids so close together the damage could have been worse but the damage has certainly been done

my whole life i wanted to be married...accomplished...one of the best things about my life

when i was 16 i said one day i'd find religion...accomplished...bringing great joy and blessings to our life right now

when i was 4 i said i wanted to be princess...failed...i am neither girly enough to be a princess or fictional

when i was 13 i swore i'd keep the best of my friends close my whole life...accomplished with shades of gray...i love and adore the ones i have and trying to make things better with the friends i had or am gaining

when i was 18 i said i'd get a college degree....failed, sort of...still in the works....longest associate's degree attempt ever

in all this reflection i realize that where i am is where i am and the age associated with it is going to change every year. all i can do is set the smaller goals..so next year, when that person asks me again, i'll say, "when i was 26, i said next year i'll be 27 and the rest is already in the past..all i can do is try and ask me when i'm 28"

TMI maybe but....

2010-03-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

...the dunn baby making factory, which was taken over by new management i.e. big huge, precancerous masses, has been shut down for the season.

After the surgery, I had a follow up visit with my doctor and he said that...and this is the part where it might be TMI but several people have asked me about it soo.......my ovaries aren't functioning like they should be. the normal egg follicle that populates every 28 days or so is instead growing into a huge cyst, which becomes a mass after 3 cm and it's extremely painful. during the surgery, 4 of them were removed. At my two week visit, I was already stricken by another one about 3cm in size...can't get a break!

What the doctor is doing is shutting down the egg production, letting everything settle and quiet down for awhile and then in 6 months or so, we'll kick start them up again. the hope is that they will react normally. here's hoping! if it doesn't work and it causes more problems, constant surgeries or trips to the ER, than they will have to come out entirely.

I was really sad when I heard the news and relieved at the same time...at least it wasn't the worse possible news...cancer or something terrible like that .... but it's upsetting to know that things aren't working properly and that my body turned on itself. I think it likes to be at the hospital....all that cleanliness and hypoallergenic everything and the good cubed ice...but i hate it. so for now, we're going to "wait and see" which is quickly becoming the catch phrase for everything in my life right now.

I was kidding around with my friend kami and told her "i'll be back just in time for the next baby"..meaning that dylan will be a year old by than which is when some people start wanting another baby...i was kidding, kind of...we're going to see what type of new toddler disposition dylan has first, and we're waiting to see if landon will ever learn how to use a quiet voice and that he doesn't have to run everywhere.

it's been awhile...

2010-02-28T16:06:00.000-08:00

goodness...it has been quite some time since my last blog..i didn't realize it..i've been updating our "status" and giving information on my facebook page but it's just snippets of what's going on with us.

where to begin?

well, we'll start with our ever growing frustration with landon's medical condition. after a second bronchoscopy at the children's hospital, they discovered that this wait and see approach they have been taking has been just that..a waiting game with no result. landon has a congenital form of the defect which after two years of poking, proding, doctor after doctor they are just now figuring out. the treatment plan of action....shocking...wait and see...the doctors think that landon will eventually outgrow it as his trachea gets more mature. for the meantime, landon will continue to struggle with his breathing, keep getting sick, and continue to br treated different than all the other kids...especially at daycare.. the parents are always on high alert for the corprut for the latest strain of whatever is going on..they hear landon's barky cough, maybe see him choke or throw up (not acutal vomit, contents of his stomach but fluid all the same) and the jump to their own conculsions..for awhile there, landon kept being accused of carrying the pandemic swine flu..oh brother...that was a fun few weeks. in other regards, landon is doing well. he is starting to talk a lot and sometimes, it's a good thing and other times..we kind of wish he still didn't talk. he hasn't mastered the concept of being subtle about his asking for things..he will ask you for juice 50 times in a row, no exaggeration. he is starting to have an interest in potty trainging which we are excited about. he has had some successes and it's a work in progress. he is sleeping in his own big boy bed now and does well most of the time..every once in awhile he ends up in our bed in the middle of the night.

dylan is a happy tank of a little boy. he is so delightful and such a wonderful addition to our little family. he is starting to be really expressive and he has the best little laugh. he still isn't sleeping through the night which is frustrating but it is because he was so congested at night. i have a theory that he is suffering from allergies....we've been trying to mimimalize his exposure to the dogs and cat and that has been helping, with small doses of benadryl when he really needs it...when i presented my information to the doctor, he said, "you made a compelling case"...i didn't realize i needed to take that approach to my child's healthcare in order to be listened to but in our experiences with the healthcare field, i guess the best thing for a parent to do is become educated and then present the best case for treatment...anyway..dylan is rolling over and trying to crawl, it's more like bodysurfing...he can sit for a little bit unsupported and he plays with toys. we are starting solid foods but he is a big fan of his bottle.

jordan has been doing well. right now, he is designing the map for our backyard as we venture into landscaping it. this will be the first house we've actually wanted to put in the time and effort and funds into doing....landon needs a yard...he is a liked a caged animal in the house all day; if he doesn't get out at least for a walk then he goes crazy. jordan is so smart..he has basically done the job of a landscape designer, with all the software and measurements...saved us a bunch i'm sure..work has been good for him and we're so thankful that in this economy he hasn't had to worry about losing his job. we just had his 28th birthday this month and it was a lot of fun. i planned a surprise party for him and all of his closest friends came and it was nice to see everyone. we got to see cara who lives close to us again but we hadn't seen yet and mark even drove in from california..it was awesome and he was really happy. we're looking forward to jordan's parents and sisters coming to visit..we can't wait!!

as for me, a lot has been happening. when i'm not racing from doctor's office to office with the boys, i'm having some medical issues myself...again! a pain began to develop in my abdomen and it wasn't going away, it just kept getting worse. finally, it got so intense that i couldn't take it anymore and went to the ER. they did a CAT scan and found a golf ball sized mass in my abdomen...great..at this point in time, we are waiting to find out what it is, if it will go away or if i need to have surgery again..the wait is killing me.. the pain was supposed to be subsiding with some medicine they gave me but it is actually getting worse. i fear that instead of improving, it's growing or even spreading..i tend to terrify myself by anticipating the worst possible scenario..at this point, i'm concerned that the surgery may require the extraction of other organs like my gallbladder or an ovary or my whole reproductive system, and as always, it is scary when your symptoms match up with signs for ovarian cancer...i'll just have to wait and see..i go to the doctor again on wednesday (if i don't end up in the ER again before that). the pain, little sleep, and my full time work schedule are really taking a toll on me...i'm trying to find some internal strength..which leads me into my next big development..

all my life, i was looking up, looking for a sign that there was someone up there, bigger than me, watching over me....i wasn't rasied in a religious home, we didn't go to church but i always had this faith..that i knew one day it was going to make sense and i would feel a void being filled..recently (after deliberation, debate, and some down right refusal at points in time) i've been meeting with the missionaries with the LDS church...jordan was raised in the church and for the last few years, i've been what they call a dry mormon (not baptized) in that we live the standards for the most part and go to church sometimes and have had our children blessed. jordan was inactive for the better part of a decade and when i told him that i wanted to take the discussions, i was delighted to hear that he wanted to sit in and take them with me..a refreshed course for him and although i knew a lot about the church, there was so much more to find out. we've been attending church on sundays, visiting with the missionaries and also meeting other families in our ward and our neighborhood...it was been an amazing sense of belonging for us...one of the best things is that everyone has kids our kids ages and they have lots of kids to play with and we don't ever feel like we have to make an excuse for them because no one seems them as an disruption...they just talk right over them and pretend that they aren't being loud or rude. a lot of quesitons have been answered for me and we've been really happy because we feel a lot closer together. there are some sad points in this trip though...realizing that the things i did and knew were wrong anyway are still weighing on me, that i have hurts that haven't been comforted yet and that there are people in our life that mean so much to us that we want to help and reach out to and know that we can't or it isn't the right time...i told my mom that i was thinking of joining the church which was huge for me because there was a lot of mumblings and grumblings from my extended family when they heard i was marrying a morman..she was so surprising in her understanding and supportivness....i really was nervous abouyt bringing it up to her and i'm so glad that she was receptive..she did have some questions which i answered to the best of my ability but i love her for being there for me always, no matter what...i told my dad (which i was even more nervous about) and he said that he would still love me but is wanting to have a more serious discussion than text messaging would allow for, which i can understand.
we've just been so thankful for so the chance to meet so many wonderful families and also to realize that we already had so many great examples in our life already in our friends the perrys, burninghams, and francis' and of course, my in laws. it's still a work in progress (as is a lot in our life right now) but it is a joyful work...

so that is pretty much our news for the first part of the new year...i'll try and be better about updating this thing..as i type, dylan is pounding away at the jeyboard and landon is running amuck in the bedroom. there is not a lot of time for leisurly writing but i'll try and sneak away more frequently..

very busy christmas week

2009-12-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

hello there! it's been awhile since my last post and it has been a week or so since i've been online..surprising, but we were so busy. the week before last kicked off the craziness.

landon went in for his second bronchoscopy. the doctors are still trying to figure out what is wrong with his breathing. they also did some other blood work while he was sedated. the results came back and said that landon is still aspirating into his lungs and he had an infection in his airways. they said just to keep waiting to it out to see if he'll grow out of it and to avoid him taking in lots of water ie submered in water or else he could drown with the all the fluid in his lungs...guess swim lessons are out for the time being.

on wednesday, jordan and i went to dinner with his boss and some people he worked with and it was an adult dinner...no kids. some friends we have babysat for us (gasp!)....in landon's two years of life it was the first time someone other than family had watched him. he did great though, there were lots of people there to entertain him. we also went to dinner with the perrys and the burninghams and all six of our kids in tow...it was interesting but not as bad as we probably all anticipated...they are getting older now and keep each other company, at least for a little bit.

dylan had his four month check up. he's in the 75th percentile for height and weight lol which is funny to us because landon never went through the chumky baby phase, but dylan is a tank of a kid. we have to take him to the ear nose and throat specialist (same ones that put landon's tubes in his ears) because they think dyl might have a deviated spetum or a collapsed nasal passage; he's always stuffy and his nose runs and he snorts a lot, sounds like a warthog....a cute warthog.

we had our version of christmas here before we left and it was nice...we didn't go too overboard with spending this year because we're saving up to landscape our backyard still .

then we braved taking both kids on the airplane to washington for christmas. with checked baggage as much as it costs, we were worried about how we were going to get stuff for 4 people for 8 days on the plane with us.....enter Space bags!! we packed all four of us in one suitcase and still made it under the 50 lb limit, just barely though. the boys did okay on the plane...it is difficult to keep landon contained to such a small space for any prolonged period of time. surprising enough, we werent' the mess you expect with two kids and two carry one items each. we made it through security, shoes and jackets off and all, in less time and with less hassle than most single travelers.

we got to washington and it was freezing! it was really cold but as soon as we got outside, you just breathed in evergreen trees and it feels like home again.

the first night we were there we went to a baptism for a friend of ours who has been a pseudo member of the church for a long time but finally took the plunge...pun intended. he had so many people there to bare witness to his committment, i told him he had the super bowlf of baptisms. it was really inspiring to watch; all those people having so much love and acceptance of his new life. you could really see it in his face too that he was changed instantly.

the next morning we went to church and dylan had his baby blessing; he slept through it but it was a beautiful blessing given by his grandpa dave. he gave dylan a blessing that he would be happy and healthy and strong throughout his life with strong faith....it moved us, just like when he did landons. it was the christmas prgram which is my favorite because i know all the songs and they are the perfect belnd of spirit, both in God and in the christmas sense which i guess is the more commercial sense of the word.

i got to go spend a little bit of time with my brother mikey and he got to see his nephews (meeting dylan for the first time). we did some christmas shopping and spent most of the rest of the day just hanging out, playing board games with the family and eating all the things you are expected to eat at christmas time but the kinds of foods your diet doesn't allow for....oh well....all in moderation which i did a good job with....no extra pounds gained..

i also got to see my very best friends tim and suzi!! they are the best kinds of friends because even though we go years sometimes before we see each other, we pick up right where we left off. we talk like we just saw each other the day before. i love them. i also got to see my friend nolan who had been serving in the armed forces, just got back from quatar and was back in town. he and i go way back and have been friends a long time and i'm glad he made it home safe and unharmed. we all had a good time and i hated not being able to see them more but when you want more time, it seems like it's always speeding away from you..

jordan and i got to spend a night together in seattle. we stayed at the edgewater hotel which is a rustic/modern hotel, makes you feel like you're in a ski lodge in the city, i loved it. we drive down with nayt and jaimie who were celebrating two years of marriage. they were a lot of fun to hang out with. we all went to dinner and the next day, we spent a good part of the day walking around pike place. we bought doughnuts that were the size of someone's head, we had fresh fruit that was delicious, we went to the first starbucks which i always wanted to do and we ate at this local cheese place for lunch. i got to do two things that i havne't been able to do in a long time.....take an uniterrupted nap AND and uninterrupted shower...it was divine!!

that night, we took the kids to the bellevue botanical gardens to see the light display they had there. landon wasn' in the best of moods but we made the best of it. it was insane the things they can do and make with christmas lights, i was really impressed... and i liked that it was free..most light displays were charging 10$ a person..no thank you..

on christmas eve, we had our christmas dinner with the whole family. kathy made chicken cord en blue (pardon the spelling) and lots of other yummy food and we ate until we were going to explode and then we played some more board games. p.s. i am awesome at apples to apples, just in case anyone wants to play against me....example. word was "innocent", i won with the card played of "adolf hitler".

the next morning was christmas!! we all opened gifts, exchanged thank yous, even landon said his. he suddenly has hit a language boom and will voice his wants and needs most of the time and copies what you say. i slept a good a good part of the day away after not sleeping at all the night before and then we just hung out the rest of the day.

on saturday we went to our friends mark and anne's house to have dinner and so landon could hang out with their daughter, the lovely and adorable miss gracie.they went back and forth from getting along to arguing to fighting to chillin on the couch....and only one head on collision that left them both in tears momentarily. mark and anne are always a source of entertainment for us and it's so easy to hang out with them because there are very few topics that are off limits or don't end up to be hilarious. last night, we spent our time packing. we had to leave the house at 330am to catch a 515 flight....ugh....we did it that way to avoid a layover.

we drug ourselves and our sleepy little ones through security and onto the plane for the 2 hr and 45 mins flight home. dylan slept almost the entire time, jordan and i kept drifting off and landon stayed quiet most of the time since brought the zune with us, loaded with kid movies...it's a handheld wonder!

today, we upacked, bathed the kids, showered, cleaned, went and finally bought landon's bed for his big boy room and put it all together. it was a very productive day (so far) considering that we only got maybe two hours of sleep. now we're home and it's bittersweet...both in that we are awar again from our family and we're back to our regular routine in the morning.

we had so much fun this trip and it is so awesome to see how close landon and his grandparents and uncles and aunts all are. dylan just loved and cuddled everyone and landon is getting to the age where he really can express how much he loves you and it just broke my heart when we left this morning and he looked back and at grandma and grandpa getting in the car to leave...the look on his face was so sad....but i know that we are going to see them again soon and he'll be even more excited, and so will we!

here is a link for pictures from our trip

www.picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10

my little boy is two today......

2009-10-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

landon turned two today...it is a bittersweet feeling..maybe even more so than when he turned one. at one, he was still kind of a baby and now, he is becoming more and more of a big boy. we bought him a big boy bed for his birthday and soon, we will be embarking on the joyous event of pottytraining. looking at him, i can still his round little baby face with the perfectly chubby cheeks. those big blues eyes still steal my heart. i'm so blessed (most of the time, he is a toddler afterall) to have him. he makes us laugh all the time. for instance, today at the doctor, we were waiting to be seen by the nurse and he in his diaper. he got down in a bear crawl position and was doing this weird, interpretive dance kind of thing..i was in tears it was so funny. he makes us very proud of him as he learns and grows in his life. he is becoming a well rounded athlete, liking all sports. he loves to go watch his uncle kyle play softball...it's adorable. he jumps up and down and claps and cheers for him. he loves soccer and for his birthday, we got him a nerf football which he can catch pretty well and throw also. there are so many things i love about my little bubba....even when he is trying my patience and driving jordan nuts, it doesn't take much for him to win us over, a little bubba-chatter, a wide huge smile, and hug accompanied by a his "aww" sound of affection. the cutest thing is when he is being a big brother. i felt really guilty in the begining, having another baby. i felt like landon wouldn't understand or accept another child in the house. he has been great. he likes to feed dylan and hug him and he get upset if he thinks we are all going to the car without him. i almost cried the other day when i saw him sitting dy dylan's swing and patting him on the tummy because the baby was crying. dylan loves his brother. he laughs and smiles at him all the time. landon is still trying to figure things out about the world.....like candy is supposed to be a treat and not a diet staple; that steps aren't the only things to climb, that shots hurt, that a hug from daddy usually makes it all better and mommy makes the ouchies go away, that grandparents live far away and it is the best thing to spend time together with family, that a doggy doesn't like his tail pulled, that doors can lock behind you, that big boys use the big potty, balls aren't the only things you can throw, bathtime does equal playtime, and that you get places sooner when you run really fast.

so to you (landon, lando, landy pants, mr bubba, bubbas, bunkin, bucket) we love you! we love your blue eyes, your belly laugh when you're being tickled, your "boston" accent, your faux hawk, your inability to walk anywhere and how fast you are, your tip toe walk, your excity boy, your gibberish, your bedtime hugs and kisses for everyone, your desire to drink from the big cup with the straw, your dipping sauce addiction, your soccer ball kicking, your mean mugging, your kung fu master karate skills, your "ah man!", your chocolate milk obession, your binky addiction, your three blankies at all times, your cuddles, your not talking on the phone when someone is talking to you, your animal noises, your ears, big brother protectiveness, and everything else that makes you!!!!

mommy duty

2009-10-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

the day came...the day to go back to work. it hadn't really hit me until today. i was at work and jordan sent me a text asking me if landon had eaten breakfast. i replied with a snapshot of his day; carnation instant breakfast and mickey mouse clubhouse, breakfast about an hour later, nap around noon, lunch, then an afternoon snack about 4. it made me sad; having to run down the details of my child's day instead of being there.....the guilt only intensified when a text came later in the morning that landon was throwing up (which he never does) and had a fever. i've been beating myself up all day long because i can't be there with him, to cuddle and comfort him. we had so much time together that now, when i leave, i can't imagine what i'll do without him for 8 hours....add to that my little guy dylan. seeing them and jordan at the end of the day is what fuels me and keeps me going the rest of the day. after being home so long on bedrest and maternity leave, i will scream it from the rooftop that being a full time mom is the hardest full time job ever! being an insurance agent is nothng comapred to being a mom from sun up to sun down...now, i'm a mom and wife for a few hours in the morning, an insurance agent all day, a mom and wife at night...not to mention the times i'm a mover, a maid, a laundress, and all the other hats i wear during the day. mommy duty is hard work!!
now, i will leave my desk at work and go home to a little boy who has the flu, a little boy who is learning to smile (steals your heart) and a husband who has had a rough day dealing with everything else on top of trying to get some work done!! bless him!!

updates...

2009-09-05T19:38:00.000-07:00

the past two weeks have been eventful for us here in the dunn household. we brought our new beautiful baby boy home from the hospital and spent the first few days getting adjusted to life with two kids. we kept landon on his schedule which helped; he was still expected to go to bed around the same time as usual and take his afternoon nap and he still got his carnation breakfast in the morning. dylan blessed us the first few days with long periods of sleep during the night. i only had to get once during the night to feed him. he is a milk monster!! he ates a lot and often and luckily, breastfeeding is going a lot better than it did with landon. i found out though that i am not the type that can feed in public when i was in the waiting room at the doctor's office with dylan. the woman next to me just dropped her shirt down and latched the kid on and then covered up. i thought you were supposed to cover up first but she had no reservations. not for me. dylan is a sweet baby and loves to cuddle, which i love. i miss those cuddle days with landon, when he would just lay on my chest and by comforted by the sound of my heartbeat. he still cuddles now, but not as often as he used to.
last week, we got a phone call to tell us that my grandpa had died. he went in for an angioplasty and was kept overnight for observation. the next day, he was released and was home visiting with friends from out of town and his family and all of sudden, he dropped to the ground. the doctor's said they think it was a blood clot that dislodged and went to his heart. he didn't suffer at all, which is a good thing. today was his funeral and i'm sad because we weren't able to make it. the plane tickets were outrageous and it's a seven and half drive there...we just weren't ready to take the kids in the car for that long. i will miss him, calling and joking around with him. i was really sad because i had sent him pictures of dylan and landon and they were supposed to go pick them up at walmart but didn't make it...he never got to see what his new great grandson looked like. my cell phone wasn't sending pictures for some reason, but the day after he died, the phone suddenly started sending pictures again. strange.
kathy, my mother in law, came and spent last week with us. i love when she comes to visit because landon seems so happy when she's here. he loves to be around his family and he and her have a special bond. plus, she is such fun company to have. we all went out together for dinner, us and logan and felicia and taylor and kyle and it was great. i love having a sense of family. she had to leave this morning, early this morning, and we hope to see them again soon. i think we are going to try and go up to washington for christmas.
another thing that has been happening is our pursuit of a new house. we have an offer in an house that has been pending for over two months now and so we decided to look around some more. we found one and tried to buy it, but the seller was shady and after three days, we still didn't agree to his ridiculous contract terms. he sold it to someone else from underneath us. i guess it's for the better considering how difficult he was. yesterday, we found another house that we love! we hope that our offer goes through on this house but there is a lot of other interest in it. we're keeping our fingers crossed.
so everyone here in the dunn house is doing okay...the baby is growing and happy, landon is getting to be a good big brother and learning what "gentle" and "careful" means, and jordan and i are cleaning up the constant messes and enjoying the time off from work together. jordan has to go back to work full time next week so i'll be wrangling the boys by myself three days a week. wish me luck :)

he's finally here!!!!

2009-08-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

the wait is over! our second son, dylan nash, was born august 20th at 11:34am...but it was no easy road to get him here that's for sure.

after dealing with preterm labor since week 24 and being out of work and on bedrest, we finally got the point where the doctor said we could be induced, that was on the 11th. i was put on the induction list at arrowhead hospital for sunday the 16th starting at 8pm. that sunday, we took landon to chuck e cheese so we could spend some time with him before his brother came. he loved it, but got overwhelmed by all the kids. he wasn't crazy about the big, talking, dancing mouse either, which i thought most kids loved.

sunday night came and went...as did all day monday and all day tuesday and all day wednesday. the whole process was ridiculous!! i would call and ask how long it would take to get in, they would say "we'll call you". they would call me and say "you're still waiting". my doctor would call and they would tell him "keep waiting". for four days straight there was apparently never an opening. i was in so much pain and back labor and all the waiting through the nights was keeping us from sleeping. finally, my doctor called another nearby hospital to see if they could get me in. there was an opening thursday morning at 2am and so we waited to hear if that was going to work out. we got a call at 2am to be into banner thunderbird by 3am. thank heavens!!! some relief was near knowing we didn't have to keep waiting by the phone.

we dropped landon off with logan and felicia. we had them on standby all week just in case we had to get called in in the middle of the night. he wasn't too happy about it at first, but logan said he calmed down pretty soon after we left. i felt sad knowing that my baby boy wasn't going to be the baby anymore and he had no idea.

we got settled into the hospital, prepaid for their service (which is some new hospital policy and it may have been to early for the lady to get jordan's joke about what they do with the babies if you can't pay ahead of time for them), and went to our room. the hospital is really nice and the people were nice to us. they started pitocin on me right away and asked me about 100 questions, one of which being what the maximum pain i could tolerate would be. i assumed this was to gauge whether or not i was going to need the drugs and i said yes, i will be asking for them at some point. dr erickson came around 7 and broke my water, which is the most disgusting feeling ever but for the sake of any male readers, i'll spare the details. jordan left for a few mintues to get landon and take him to daycare for the afternoon. we would have kept him with us but landon isn't one to be contained and there were too many things for him to mess with and get in trouble. while jordan was gone, i got to experience the horrible pain of real labor. last time with landon, i had the epidural early and so i never really felt the intense contractions....but i sure felt them this time!!! i thought i was dying! it was terrible. jordan called and asked how i was and all i said was "come back". he came back and then the wonderful anthesia doctor came back!! she was my hero. the medicine made me a little loopy and had to be administered twice for it to work but it finally took effect and it was so much better after that. each leg felt like it weighed 100 pounds.

at 10:45 i was ready to go. i pushed with the nurses for three sets of contractions and then had to stop because the baby was coming out and we had to wait for the doctor to come back. it took him a little while to come back and when he did, i only pushed a couple of times and then, there he was.

it was a totally different feeling than what i felt with landon. i didn't know what to expect but when he came out, i was overjoyed! i had been so worried that this day wouldn't come because of the early complications and i was worried all throughout the pregnancy that this day would be tainted with rushing nurses and doctors and oxygen masks and loud beeping of monitors. when it all went smoothly, it was mroe than i ever could have asked for. i was so happy. so was jordan! he is the cutest daddy ever. his face was just lit up and he was so excited to see them measure and weigh him. he weighed in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce.....big boy!!! we all guessed he would be in the 7's somewhere. he was 20 1/8 inches long and he was built like a little bulldog, just stout with a barrel chest and chubby arms and legs. he had blonde hair and looked very similar to landon. another beautiful boy. we are so blessed!

all his tests came back good so we were able to keep him in the room with us the whole time, expect he had to stay under the heat lamps for the first few hours because he was struggling with his temperature a little. that night, jordan brought landon back to meet his brother. he was more excited than i thought he would be! he wanted to kiss the baby and hold him and give him hugs. later on, kyle and his friend britt came to visit and landon was so excited. he loves kyle!! the perry family too and we were so happy to see them. they brought their little girl kamryn and she is two months old now, which i can't believe! she's so adorable. landon was elated that kade was there to play with him, although the hospital room isn't the best place for boys to play...lots of buttons that call people and make noises and sound alarms. the perry's were so awesome; they took landon home with them so jordan could get some sleep..he was exhausted beyond belief.

we got to go home the next evening and today has been our first full day home. it's taking some getting used to with landon and the baby. he isn't always willing to share his time and attention and he doesn't fully understand what is going on yet. we have to say "be gentle" about 100 times an hour to him. dylan is good though. he sleeps a lot but has been awake a lot today..so hopefully he sleeps tonight. last night was a little rough because dylan was getting used to being home, landon got woke up by the monsoon and wanted to come to bed with us, and gage was having seizures (caused from the new stress or the heat probably).

my family feels pretty complete now. everyone keeps asking if we are going to have another one, to get a girl or whatever, but i like having my three guys. i'm outnumbered but i know that it is going to be so fun....going to soccer games, camping, playing baseball, doing all the boy things with them as they grow up together. i'm so lucky to have these two boys in my life and i'm even luckier to have such a wonderful husband! he has been awesome through this whole process, he was amazing in the delivery room, and he is so supportive now that we're home. i loved seeing him and dylan sleeping on the couch together last night.

so now we're home and our life starts a new chapter. it'll be interesting to see what is written for us to come.

tick, tick, tick

2009-08-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

baby dylan update.....he's still in there. as of last wednesday, i was allowed to stop taking all the medicine to keep him from coming and my doctor said that if he was to try and come, he wouldn't postpone it at all. over the last few days, every little twinge and contraction and pain has me reaching for the hospital bags and the car keys. i keep waiting impatiently however...i'm waiting for a clear cut sign that it's time...mainly because i don't want to pay the bill only to be sent home to wait some more. so here we are, closing in on 37 weeks and the doctor has given me the "any day now" sentence. between waiting for dylan to come and waiting to hear about the offer we made on our house, the suspense is killing us.....ah, how wonderful it would be to be landon; blissfully unaware of everything that is about to change. he is still too young to understand that soon, that huge mass that has been growing in mommy is about to become a human whom he will have to share us with. he thinks babies are cute and he seems to know that he needs to be gentle around them but it will be interesting to see how he copes with a baby brother. i think the biggest frustration for him will be that the baby won't be able to play with him right away. instead, he will be demanding time and attention from us that landon is usually obliged to soak up in mass quanity. i was telling jordan the other day that i almost feel guilty for having another baby.....maybe it's an expecting mom thing, or maybe not but i feel like it isn't going to be fair to landon. i feel like he will think that he wasn't enough for us (which IS NOT the case because he is MORE than enough). case in point: we went to lunch today and it was so hot out and landon wanted a drink of our drink because it had a straw. he just figured out how to use them so he likes to try whenever he can. the drink was diet pepsi. landon went crazy!! he was yelling and running around walmart after lunch, pulling things off the shelf, climbing in and out of the cart, taking off down the aisle in a sprint...more than usual. he was so wired! after just a few minutes in the car on the drive home, he crashed hard. he was so exhausted that he didn't even wake up when i took him out of the car seat and took his shoes off to lie him down for a nap. that boy!!!
so for now, the restless nights filled with anticipation and the long days waiting around is what we are doing....we'll keep you posted in the event that something climatic happens....hoping it happens soon...

want strangers to talk to you?? get pregnant

2009-07-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

i've noticed (again) that a complete and total stranger has a hard time resisting the urge to talk to you about your protuding stomach. this urge takes hold of them in all public areas, especially the grocery store. they are usually very polite and interested. they sometimes like to give you advice on topics such as breastfeeding (even if they happen to be male) or wish you well. i find these gestures curious. on occasion, these strangers also feel it totally appropriate to touch your stomach, rub it, as they talk to you. pregnancy is nothing new. it hasn't recently become a trend and everyone is doing it....much like the early days of plastic surgery. when women started having their breasts and lips done, i can see how people would feel it necessary to ask them questions such as "when did you have that done?" "what made you decide to do this to yourself?" "how much did it cost and where can i have mine done at?" it is possible that this new fashion gave way to the acceptance of people asking you as you wait in line at the store "how much weight have you gained?" "do you have cravings?" "how many other kids do you have?" "are you going to have anymore after this one?" i will give them all the benefit of the doubt. i see people out in public too and begin to wonder about their appearance. i see other pregnant people and wonder how far along they are, access the number of tag along kids they already have, and wonder how much weight they've packed on. i don't come right out and ask them these questions of course. also, what about the person you see (and you hear about these encounters) when you are sure they are about 8 months pregnant, maybe even sporting a maternity looking top, only to be mortified when you find out they aren't pregnant, only overweight. or, would be okay for me to walk up to joe somebody at walmart with the beer belly and ask him "so how many cases of beer would i have to drink to look like you?" i also don't go up to the blondie at the gym and with a 100% certainty feel her up and say "you should have gone with the full C implants instead of the D, you're going to have back problems". i know that these situations don't seem the same as being a little weirded out over people taking full advantage to speak to me about my expecting arrival, but still, the point is that it is weird and i'm just blown away that today, a woman about 60 years old said to me at walmart after a brief conversation "you make sure to apply lots of lotion to yourself if you're going to breastfeed dear...you don't want to be picking your sagging parts up off the floor when you're older like me". in shock, i listened to her tell me about the 5 kids she "raised right" by breastfeeding. she was so genuine and really wanted to let me know how wonderful it was for babies.....i didn't have the heart to tell her that i hated it with landon and am dreading it with dylan.
i do appreciate most of the polite, helpful conversations i have with strangers about this pumpkin shoved under my tank top, i really do.....sometimes though, you just get those people who have no tact or really just want to add to a miserable day by saying something crappy to you like "good luck (saracastically) with two boys" or "you must be sweating like a pig in this heat carrying that baby around". thanks a million. to the woman at babies r us that told me which diaper rash creme was the best to use on sensitive skin, i do apprecaite you.....just don't rub my tummy :)

fourth of july

2009-07-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

i hope that everyone had a good fourth of july. i know we did. we went to to spend the day with our friends, RD, Jenna, Sumner, and SaraJane for the fourth but also, it was SaraJane's first birthday! i can't believe she is one already. time goes by so fast and she is growing up to be a such a sweetheart. our friend the Perry's were there and Landon was so excited. he loves to hang out with Kade and Sumner. he chases them around and pretends to be a big kid. he even wanted to play wii with them (his remote wasn't plugged in but he thought he was playing) it was a good day. we had some bbq food and cake and cupcakes and just enjoyed spending time together. the fireworks came later at night and although we didn't have a really good view, from what we saw, the kids really liked them. landon was so excited when RD lit some small fireworks in the yard. then, the boys got to the poppers in the driveway and landon thought that was the greatest thing.
at the party, Kami, Jenna, and their friend all were talking about the things they get to do with their daughters. they all had matching red, white, and blue headbands to match their adorable fourth of july outfits. they were talking about dresses and girly stuff and i just sat back and listened. a small part of me is a little sad that we aren't having a girl this time.....and i think about how much trouble i would get into shopping if we were having a girl lol we haven't really bought anything for dylan yet because we have stuff still from landon and my two friends Kami and Jenna are throwing me a shower this week. yet, everytime i walk through the infant section at the store, i see those little dresses and the little shoes, and the pink blankets.....sigh. maybe next time, if there will be a next time. i always said i wanted three kids but my body sucks at being pregnant, especially this time. i don't know if i could do this again and keep my sanity. it will be exciting to have another boy because i know that dylan and landon will be the best of friends.

here is a picasa link to a few pictures of our fourth.
http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/4thOfJuly09#

surviving the summer somehow

2009-07-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

with the temperature climbing in the 1oo's, i find that entertaining a toddler is harder than i imagined. being on limited activity and bedrest certainly doesn't help. we can't do a lot of the fun things that parents and kids get to do, like go the zoo and the parks around here. i can, however, sit by and watch him have fun. today, trina and i took landon to the glendale splash park. i figured, it's a small space, easy to keep track of him, it's hot and the water was cold and he'd have fun. plus, he's been going crazy cooped up in the house with me the last couple of weeks, especially because he wasn't able to swim or do anything with water for awhile after having his surgery. so we went and sat in the shade as landon ran around and played in the sprinklers and the jets and the puddles. One kid at the park had to leave in an ambulance after colliding with another kid. he was knocked unconscious after samcking his head on the concrete. landon had a little run in too where he was knocked over, but there was at his breaking point anyway. after that, he was ready to go home. so were we. even though we were sitting on the sidelines, trina and i somehow got sprayed and soaked right as we were getting ready to leave. at home later in the afternoon, i heard a strange noise and went to look. i thought the downstairs bathroom toilet had overflowed or something, but turns out it was a freak desert monsoon, our first of the season. trina was amazed how warm the rain was and went running out into the driveway. naturally, landon followed and they both got soaking wet!! landon loved it! the rain only lasted about ten minutes but it dumped down enough rain to the drown the street in front of the house. i sat back and taped them because i had already had my share of being soaking wet for the day, plus, i was wearing a white tshirt and we all know that rain and white tshirts don't mix.

i hope it doesn't rain tomorrow for the Fourth of July. i used to hate it in Washington when you'd wait all day to the fireworks and then it would rain and ruin it. we will be enjoying the day with our friends, the Perry's and the Burninghams. SaraJane turns 1 year old tomorrow! crazy!!

Baby Dylan update.....we made it to 32 weeks, which i've been told is a milestone because the baby's organs (except for the lungs) are pretty much all developed and he wouldn't be as high risk if he came now. i thought i was going to have him yesterday. i accidentally slipped on some water that was in the hallway and biffed it. after that (and even today), i was having a lot of contractions and have been in a bit of pain in my back and hip. we see the doctor again on monday and we'll see what he has to say about it. also, we'll see what he has to say about going back to work, or at least getting off this prison sentence.

Have a good weekend! i know we will!

tubes today

2009-06-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

when the alarm blared at me at 4:25 this morning, i was half tempted to shut it off and go back to bed because i knew getting up meant taking my bubba in for surgery. i got up and quietly got ready so as not to wake anyone and then tried to get landon ready to go while he was still half asleep. his sleepy little eyes stared at me in the darkness of his room and i whispered to him "hopefully this is the last thing you have to go through honey". i loaded him in the car and we headed off into the sunrise. luckily, he slept the whole way there so he didn't realize that we had skipped the kitchen and breakfast before getting in the car. when we got the hospital, he was so interested in where we were that he didn't think to fuss at all. i understand why they need you to fast before a surgery involving anthesia but it is so unfair to the little ones because they have no idea what's going on. he saw other people eating and a couple times asked "more?" to me, begging for food. we went back to the surgical area waiting and that big obnoxious dinosaur barney kept him entertained with a sing a long tape until it was time for him to go in. something about that dinosaur creeps me out, always has. he kept saying, " we all know this song" and it was a song i'd never heard before, so in a way, he's assuming that your child will request to watch his video over and over again until they no longer feel left out of the choir. bothers me. anyway, they had to come give landon a breathing treatment before he went under anthesia because of his respiratory problems and he was not happy. a big. burly male nurse then pinned his arms to his side and held him for the duration of the treatment. poor kid....manhandled by a giant with brillo pad arm hair and coffee breath. they gave him back to me and i was able to get him to settle down just in time for them to come snatch him away from me. last time he went in for a procedure, i was able to go in with him and wait until he had started to drift off, making it less traumatic. this time, they took him and headed off down the hall, instructing me to the waiting room. landon cried and stretched his little arms for me as they rounded the corner and disappeared. my heart hurt. it was so hard not to cry but i knew if i did, it would probably upset him even more.
it was a fairly quick procedure and he was done within the half hour. i was surprised it went so fast. they didn't have any recovery time or observation time. they told me to pull the car up and they were going to bring me my son, who was waking up from anthesia. last time, we got to wait in recovery for about an hour to make sure he would be okay. i wish they would have done the same this time. they came out and handed me a very scared, confused, drugged up baby and he was so angry. i tried to ease his frustration with his favorite blankie and some chocolate milk but he wasn't having it. for those of you who know the phoenix area, i got to drive from paradise valley hospital to our house in surprise with landon screaming at me in the back. all he wanted was comfort and cuddles and instead, he was strapped down in his seat. from start to finish, the whole way home, even got stopped behind a passing train, he yelled and kicked and threw his binkie at me.
as soon as we got home, he was fine. he went up and saw his daddy and his daddy told him everything was okay. he took a nap and had some lunch and seems to be doing okay. i'm glad. i just hope that this surgery does what it is supposed to do and give the kid some relief from all this discomfort.

baby update and yet another crappy thing landon has to go through

2009-06-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

we went to the doctor today and got to do a 3d ultrasound. the thing about these ultrasounds is that they require the cooperation of the baby and just like his brother before him, dylan didn't want us to see him in all his glory. he gladly gave us a side profile before rolling onto his stomach. i am not a stomach sleeper but jordan and landon are, so i'm guessing dylan will fall in line. from what we could tell, he looks like landon. they have the same cheeks and same nose. this also means i may not have a child who resembles me at all, unless he's making a frowning face, squishing up his brow, making wrinkles in his forehead. they looked at his growth and said that he weighs around 3 lbs 10 ounces already. geesh!! no wonder my stomach popped out almost overnight and sticks out like i'm smuggling a pumpkin under my shirt. i'm guessing he'll weigh about what landon did, 7 pounds 10 ounces, that is if he stays in that long. dcotor erickson said that he thinks since he's been trying to come so soon, that after 36 weeks when i get to stop taking all the medicine to prevent his arrival, he thinks he'll soon make his grand entrance.
31 weeks and potentially have 7 more to go. we'd be inducing at 38 weeks to prevent the baby from distress during contractions, due to lack of space to move. we had to do the same with landon. i feel like we aren't ready for him to come. we have all the stuff left over from landon but we really haven't bought anything new for dylan. we haven't bought a baby book for him, no new clothes, no toys, no nothing. i know that you usually get some of those things at a shower but i don't even know if i'm going to have one. i think everyone, including myself and jordan, were too worried to plan for him to come. a few weeks ago, his chances of survival if he was delivered were less than 30 pecent and now, they are almost 90 percent, with some risk of complications such as breathing, sight, and hearing. i think now that we are in a little bit of a "clear" zone, we can plan (and purchase) more.
speaking of hearing, landon is going in for surgery tomorrow. he is having tubes put in his ears, which i was told is a fairly common procedure. landon has fluid trapped in his middle ear on both sides and it's preventing him from hearing as well as he should and it makes him prone to ear infections. poor kid. yet another thing to deal with. the worst part about the whole thing is the doctor we were going to never mentioned anything about the reoccuring infections or the fact that landon's speech hasn't been totally on par with other children his age. we finally switched doctors and the first visit, they looked at his records and did a test on him and said that we needd to go to a specialsit, an ear nose and throat specialist. the specialist said that he thinks that the tubes are going to help and that we should notice landon's speech improve dramatically and also, we should notice the volume of his voice lower as well. i always just thought landon was a loud kid, but it turns out that landon has a hard time hearing himself and so he doens't realize how loud he is most of the time. so we shall see if this works. i hope that it does because he has already been through so much and it just isn't fair to him. he surprisingly is still a happy kid despite the fact that he is sick a lot. i love his personality (most of the time). he has the best laugh!! you can't help but to smile and laugh along with him. his surgery is really early in the morning so we'll be home recovering the rest of the day and shaking off the anthesia. keep our little guy in your thoughts tomorrow.

happy father's day

2009-06-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

first of all, happy father's day to all the father's i know. it takes a special quality in a man to be a father. any guy can have a child but when they find that "daddy gene" in them, it's amazing. i know some great dads out there; my uncles, my friends, and my own dad. i love my dad. he keeps me very grounded and taught me how to be a decent human being. he taught me manners, how to play soccer, and how to drive. he was a brave man. he has some great qualities and he keeps me laughing. i love him and i'm glad he's my dad.

then there is jordan, my husband. he is an awesome dad. landon and him are the best of friends and they have this special bond. they play together and he lights up. the day landon was born, i saw a change in jordan; he suddenly had this wholeness that i hadn't seen in him before and i knew that i had just marked off one of his things to do in life on the list...have a son. now, as we're awaiting the arrival of dylan (yes, we finally decided that will be his name) i know that it will only expand his love for his family that much more. he is the foundation that keeps us strong and i love him more and more everyday.

i'm glad that dylan has stayed put for the last couple of weeks. i was afraid we were going to be at the hospital today. we've reached 31 weeks this wednesday and it feels like a big relief to be in the third trimester. we still have some things to worry about and with every contraction, especially the big painful ones, i wonder if he's ready to come out. tomorrow, we get to go and see the doctor but we also get to see dylan. we get to a 3d ultrasound, which i'm excited about. i want to see if he is going to look like landon. i want to make sure everything is going okay in there. if i can, i'll upload some pictures afterwards.

3 years, a one year, and another trip to the hospital

2009-06-09T21:21:00.001-07:00

this last week was a busy one for us. to start, let's get the good news out there that jordan's skin cancer test came back negative for melanoma. praying works, i tell ya and i did a ton of it the last two weeks for him. this weekend we had my niece taylor's last minute first birthday party. it wasn't supposed to be last minute but it came together nicely and i think everyone had fun.i can't believe that she is a year old already. they grow up so fast, it is insane! she is becoming her own little person too and it'll be fun to see her and landon grow up together. i know landon did had fun at her party. he liked eating the picnic food, especially the cheetos. it was nice spending time with our friends and family and enjoying the weather here before it becomes too hot to function outdoors.
today is mine and jordan's three year wedding anniversary. you would think that we would spend it doing something fun or romantic but this new baby put the brakes on that early yesterday afternoon. contractions kept coming one after another and after much internal debate, i decided to call the doctor and ask what he thought i should do. so i went into the office today and after meeting with him, he sent me the hospital to be observed for awhile. it's so frustrating because it's a miserable couple of hours spend wearing half a bedsheet, going without food, with no good tv (or bad) tv to watch. after a few hours i was sent home with the same instructions as before. the baby looked fine in the ultrasound and everything else looked okay too. doctor said i just have an "aggrevated" uterus. i wanted to say "prescribe it some paxil and let's get this show on the road for the next 9 weeks without any more of these visits being needed".
anyway, jordan and i have been married now for three years and in august, we'll have been dating 8 years. he is the most amazing man and i am so thankful everyday that i was lucky enough to meet him and have him accept me for who i was. he really is the glue that keeps us all from falling apart at the seams. he was a great boyfriend and is a wonderful husband and the most loving father. one of the things i love most about him is that he is a genuinely good person. he is honest and caring and decent and those qualities are so hard to find these days in anyone. you can count on him for anything. he is my best friend and i'm looking forward to many more years together.
now that summer is officially upon us, we've been spending some time letting landon swim and play in the water. here is a picasa link to some of our first days of summer.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/SummertimeFunInTheSun#

total eclipse of the feet and updates on us

2009-06-01T13:55:00.000-07:00

there comes a time in every woman's pregnancy where you took at yourself in the mirror and think "i'm never going to snap back from this". you feel like your body will be a puffed version of its once toned and tight body forever. i looked down and instead of my usual view of my flip lfops, i saw tummy. some women love this journey of pregnancy; getting the pootch, getting the round tummy that complete strangers feel entitled to rub, shopping for marternity clothes, and having that pregnancy glow. i feel like a traitor to my kind because i don't enjoy it. i enjoy feeling him move around, shifting to get comfortable and i love imagaining the day when he'll join our family, but the time in between is not ideal. i don't enjoy the weight gain, the sleepless nights. the waddling, and i really don't enjoy the bedrest aspect. the worst thing about bedrest is how isolated you feel. you're at home all day and even if you're busy with homework or cleaning or watching tv, nothing compares to human interaction. at least my landon is coming home tomorrow!! i have been so sad the last couple of days, the stress of bedrest getting to me. he's going to be home and seeing his smile will fix everything!! my mother in law is coming tomorrow too and she is staying for a few weeks and hallelujah for that!! it will so nice (espcially if the doctor doesn't let me go back to work) to have her here, for me and jordan and landon. he absolutley adores her! i will really need her here depending on what results come back from jordan's test.

for those of you who don't know, jordan has skin cancer and every single mole or spot on his skin is full blown cancer waiting to happen. it's terrifying to think that we could get that bad news at anytime, but luckily, we have a determatologist that is keeping on top of it. jordan was one of the youngest patients to have the Moh's surgery, which was the removal of a basal cell carcinoma from his temple. some tissue and muscle had to be removed at the same time. he's had several other scares but they've been taken care of. last friday, he had a spot that was diagnosed precancer last year. he was supposed to have it removed a long time ago but put it off. he had it removed on friday and us and the doctors are keeping our fingers crossed and praying that it doens't come back melonoma, which can be one of the deadliest forms of cancer because of how fast it can spread. we hopefully will find out the results in the next week or so....hoping for good news and bracing for the bad, just in case. so in case it is bad news, it will make it easier to cope with whatever we need to do if his mom is here.

other than hoping i was able to take off this ever growing fat suit, making a permenant butt dent in the couch and hoping everything will work out for the best with jordan, we're doing alright. we'll be ten times better when bubba comes home tomorrow!! yea!! kathy has been getting him interested in potty training and so that will be our next venture....end of diapers would be fantastic...for now...until this new one comes and we start all over

patience doesn't apply to a fetus apparently

2009-05-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

after another trip to the hospital monday evening, after several hours of painful contractions, i was sent home to be on bedrest some more. i thought i was doing pretty good. i wasn't up moving around but early that afternoon, i started having pain low in my abdomen. the baby has decided that this journey is going to be an uphill battle, rather than a leisurely stroll in the park. i was so looking forward to tuesday because that is when my bubba was coming home, but we made the decision for him to stay in washington a little longer so that i could continue to let my body settle down. it was a really hard decision to make but i know he is in the best care. my mother in law has been great about sending videos of hime and updating me about what he's doing during the day. i can hear his little chatter in the background when we talk on the phone. our house here is so quiet without him....and there is less to clean, which i guess is a good thing for my "situation".
as of today, we are at 26 weeks in this pregnancy. it is still early for him to come because of all the health risks so we're delaying him as much as possible. if we can just get to 36 weeks, that would be ideal. if he tries to come again despite our best efforts with the bedrest and the medicine they gave me, than i'll be a short term resident of the labor and delivery ward in the hospital under supervison. hopefully, that won't happen. keeping our fingers crossed because this sentence here in the house is bad enough.

not all it's cracked up to be

2009-05-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

i am on my eigth day of bedrest and it is a lot harder than i ever anticipated. i feel like a house cat, laying around until you fall asleep and than just laying there after you wake up. it sounds like a good idea when you have a kid and a husband and house that is a huge job to clean and a full time job, but when it actually happens, it really makes you feel like you don't have a purpose. it's really lonely...especially because landon went to washington with kyle and he's been gone for two days now. i feel like i "shipped" him off but i know that he is having a lot of fun with jordan's family. he loves his grandma kathy!! at first, it was hard just thinking that he'd be away from me. it's strange that he is his own person now. i got really nervous on tuesday when we took them to the airport and i hugged him goodbye at the security checkpoint. i knew that he'd be in good hands with kyle because he is so good with him. landon loves his uncle kyle, they are buddies. when we got home, it was quiet and it was eerie. there weren't toys everywhere, there weren't sippy cups that needed to be rinsed out, and there wasn't a nighttime bath that needed to be done. it was just as it was before, when it was just me and jordan...and it made me miss landon even more.
there was a time where it was just me and jordan, after we moved out from having roommates and after we got married. our nights were spent lounging on the couch, watching movies and tv and our weekends were so laid back. we'd go grocery shopping or to a movie or to dinner. some people really miss the days of nothing, when you could sleep in and go to bed late after they have kids. i feel the opposite. i feel like our life got even better after we had landon. although it's messy and chaotic and tiresome we wouldn't want it any other way. we were having breakfast yesterday morning and it was just us, and something was missing.
today is really lonely. jordan is gone and so is landon and i'm not supposed to be up moving around so i am bored....i did however get up and clean some.....i actually am up more than i should be but bedrest is hard.
next week, i go back to the doctor and he might release me back to work part time and back to light duty which means i can clean and take care of landon when he comes back.....or he might sentence me to another two months of this torture....we'll see.

happy mother's day

2009-05-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

i always knew that i wanted to be a mom. when i six, in the first grade, we had to make a big poster board about ourselves and one of the questions was "what to do you want to be when you grow up?" i wrote "a mommy". as i got older, i still had that desire and i was afraid at one point even that i had lost my maternal drive. a trip to babies r us for a gift for my best friend suzi ended with me in tears, sobbing the car about the overwhelming lack of knowledge i had about kids. i knew i wanted to be a mom again when i met my (then boyfriend) jordan and he talked about how we would have kids and we'd be soccer sideline parents and have lazy sunday mornings together. when i was pregnant with landon, i searched the internet for everything mommy to get my bearings beneth me before this human came into our lives. then he came and it was an amazing rush of everything i had ever wanted when he looked at me for the first time. he didn't care what brand diapers i decided to use and he didn't know that i was a foreigner in the baby department..all he knew was i was his mom and that he loved me. mother's day, although some think it just a commercial holiday created by teleflora and sees candy, is the day when us moms get to celebrate those moments....the ones that steal our hearts and consume us in love. the first time you heard your baby say "momma" (regardless of the fact that "dada" propbably came first), the times when they fall asleep on you, cuddle, hug, blow kisses, and smile. without them, we wouldn't get this day. it's a day to celebrate them, and your husband/partner, as much as it is a celebration of you and all you do as a mom.
this morning, my wonderful husband brought me breakfast in bed...and not just because i'm on bedrest......he made crepes from scratch and they were so delicious. we all just got to spend the day together. one of the best things about being a mom, is looking at your husband and son sitting together. they are the best of buddies and landon has been a gift to me, but it is also a gift to jordan....his day is next month :) we went out (for a short time and we didn't walk around much) for ice cream. it was a good day. landon, my lovely son, was a joy for the first part of the day and a monster the second half, only to turn his bubba charm back on right after dinner until bedtime. jekyl and hide with that boy sometimes. at the end of the day, when it was time for bed, he walked with me to bed and i picked him up to put him into his crib and he laid his head on my shoulder and hugged me. he didn't say anything and he didn't have to....it was the perfect silent "i love you mommy" moment. i held him for a minute, rocked him and watched as his little blue eyes grew drowsy. now, jordan and i get to hang out and enjoy the quiet for a few hours before bed (few hours for him, i'll probably be alseep in ten minutes). i can feel this new baby kicking around and although i've felt like a prisoner for the last couple of days and have one more full day to go, i'm full of love for him and all the joy he'll bring to our family.
on mothers day, it is only fair to take the time to appreciate the other moms who have paved the way for you, inspired you, continue to inspire you. i'm am so lucky to have a whole lot of moms who mean the world to me. my own mom, of course, who i would be lost without. she's the person i want to call to talk about everything and nothing with. she's so strong and right now, she's enduring quite a challenge and i hope that she can keep her sanity and make it through this tough time. my mother in law is a superhero, as far as i'm concerned. she has every element of a mother and i admire her immensely. she has been a very strong influence in our lives and i'm so lucky to have her. my mom friends suzi, jenna, anne, and jessica are some of the best moms you'd ever want to know. they have so much love and can learn from them and laugh with them, which is important when you've had no sleep and you're four loads deep in laundry that needs to be put away.
this mothers day, i am especially in awe of my friend kami. she is nearing the end of her pregnancy with little miss kamryn, who we all can't wait to meet. she works a crazy schedule, barely gets to see her husband, and is raising a four year old boy kade, who is my buddy. kami had a hard year last year when she lost her son kooper. throughout this year, she has really impressed me with her strengh and her faith. her connection with God is something to be envious of and it is infectious...one could only hope to have her inner strength and unconditional love. i hope that she knows what a hero of mine she is and how i look to her as an example.
so for all you moms out there, i hope you had a wonderful day today. i know that i did and it's coming to an end but i know that today isn't about the breakfast, the presents, the night out...its about the moments that happen everyday that remind you how blessed you are to have been given the chance to create a life...and to have that person (or people) love you for you everyday of the year.

bailing early...

2009-05-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

so far, this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful...and i guess the little guy inside felt it was time to shake things up alittle bit.
on tuesday at work, i started feeling some contractions. i chalked it up to braxton hicks and didn't think much of it. later that night, the contractions started to get worse and painful and made it hard to breathe. i of course did what i always do when i'm not sure if something is or isn't wrong, i called my mom, my mother in law and consulted webmd. apparently. painful contractions aren't the norm this early in the pregnancy. as of wednesday, i'm only 24 weeks along. per the advice of my materal elders, i called the doctor in the morning and asked for his opinion. much to my surprise, they told me to come in right away and be seen in the labor and delivery triage ward. needless to say it wasn't the day i planned. i arrived at work, clocked in, and clocked right back out to head to the hospital. when i got there, they hooked me up to the monitors, one for me and one for the baby to track his heartbeat. the baby's heartbeat was good, steady. my montior was full of peaks and valleys, tracing the strengh and frequency of my contractions. my nurse told me that these weren't the dry run contractions i was used late in my previous pregnancy, these were the real thing....and they were unwelcome. they gave me two rounds of what they call the "stop shot" which is a medicine meant to slow the contractions. this shot made me feel like i chugged a gallon of mountain dew in a matter of seconds. my whole body was shaking and i was really warm. after the two rounds of the shots (which i did well with, no panic attack which i was proud of) they gave me another medicine which is a muscle relaxer also used to treat cardiac conditions. the nurse told me they'd have to do any exam, which was less than thrilling. during the exam, she discovered that these premature contractions were actually working and i was begining to dialte and eface. after some debate, my doctor decided to let me go home but only i was on bedrest and then come back and see him in the morning.
as i drove home, i was overwhelmed with the thought that my body, the vessel that was growing this human, was now trying to end it's term of purpose early. what would happen? "it's too early: is all i kept thinking.
i slap myself on the wrist now for doing it, but when i got home, i googled "preterm labor" and read about it from several different sites....all terrifying. baby could be born with short term and long term defects, have to live in the intensive care unit for months, and worse, not survive the birth or die shortly after. i didn't sleep all last night as i felt him moving around and wondering how i could make it so those kicks could one day find their way to a soccer ball in the backyard with his big brother.
this morning, i went to the doctor again. i sat in the waiting room looking at all the different stages of pregnant women and i wondered if they could see the worry on my face; how unsure i was that my tummy would even have the chance to grow big enough to block the view of my feet.
my doctor, a wonderful and caring man, asked me what was going on. we talked about how dangerous it was to go into labor at this point in the pregnancy and how we could delay this boy's arrival. he did another exam, again not the highlight of my day, and it wasn't good news...i had dialted a little more and my body was getting ready to have this baby. my heart sunk. he ordered me to stirct bedrest for the next few days and over the weekend....and he meant strict. nothing but bathroom trips, a shower a day, and food runs to the kitchen for me. this wasn't easy news for me to swallow. i'd have to be off work for a few days, maybe for the next few months. i'd have to sit around all day and not be able to clean, to do laundry, or to play with landon. i'd be sidelined.
so i headed home after stopping by work to explain my plight, and i passed target and thought "til we are able to meet again friend". with the new baby on the way, if this continued down the same path, i wouldn't be doing any shopping for awhile. it was even made clear that if i didn't heed the warning of the doctor and stay rested, than i'd be admitted to the hospital for the next three months. thanks heavens for the internet than....target.com is 24 hours.
so as i sit here, my first day on bedrest of (right now) 5, i'm already bored and hot and wanting to get up and move around. i feel terribly guilty as landon's mommy right now. he doesn't understand why i can't get up and get him snacks or play around with him or go to the park (if it was cool enough). luckily jordan is here and i'm making sure that if i need something, i'm asking nicely and saying please and thank you....i don't want him to think i'm taking advantage of him or make him resent me. for the next 5 days, it's me and the couch or me and bed and hopefully, next time we go to the doctor on tuesday, he'll have good news.
what am i going to do for the next 5 days? i'm going to surf the internet, read, try to sleep, and try not to panic as i try to convince this newcomer that he is in fact trying to bail early and it's not in his best interest. wish me luck! you'll probably see a jack nicholson type blog later this week....no walking and no cleaning and bedrest make nickey go crazy...

kids might not be for you if.......

2009-04-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

for those of you reading this that do not have kids, i'd imagine its because it's not the right time in your life to be reproducing, or you might not be blessed in the fertility department (and i hope that God decides to bless you soon), or you may have just avoided it like a coworker with a cold. for those of you who are simply on the fence on the issue, let me recant our evening in a jeff foxworthy-esqe way, stating "you might want to wait to have kids if....."

1. "....you like to go to a restuarant and eat in peace". tonight was our friend's ryan birthday and his wife kami and son kade and then our friends rd, jenna, and their two kids sumner and sarajane went out for dinner. we went to california pizza kitchen and the begining of the dinner was fine; hte kids colored and snacked until the food came. as the night progressed, landon yelled for more food, kade and sumner crawled under the table, kade didn't want any of the dinner ordered for him, landon threw his food on the floor, and kade managed to tip over a table and spill some drinks and break a glass. to an outsider, like the people sitting next to us who just so happened to get up and move in the middle of their dinner after almost being drenched in pepsi, it might seem like the table full of kids was chaos and a handful. truth be told it is, but it's so nice to be able to enjoy being out and being all together. so, if you can look past spilt soda, yelling, and possibly disrupting others, you might actually be ready for kids.

2. ".....you like to take your time shopping in the store". i remember when i could spend an hour if desired just aimlessly wondering around a store, looking at everything and sometimes buying nothing. with a child, not only are you looking for particular items, but you're also keeping the tiny one you're with from grabbing everything off the shelf. it isn't the same as shopping for yourself in quiet and with no time restraint, but you get the joy of picking out outfits and shoes and things for your kids to wear which ultimately reflects on you as a parent; the appearance of your child is important. so i want to shop a little less for you and oo and ah a little more for shopping for a toddler (or even more fun, a baby) that you might actually be ready for kids.

3. ".....you like having uniterrupted conversations". my son landon started walking at 10 months and since than, he runs everywhere....including wanting to run at the park, at the store, and at the mall. even though there was a designated play area, landon escaped and ran wild. needless to say that chasing a toddler in a hundred different directions isn't conducive to adult coversations with friends. as soon as you'd start a sentence, it'd be cut short when you've have to dart away to keep landon from making a break for it. also, watching a toddler automatically takes your mind away from what someone is saying to begin with and you aren't meaning to be rude, paying only half attention, but you also have the obligation to make sure your children doesn't disappear. so you have friends that understand that talking to you might have to include a pause and resume button, than you might actually be ready for kids.

4. ".....you like walking around the malll". as previously mentioned, my bubba runs everywhere and just because we are somewhere crowded and unfamiliar, it doesn't stop him for taking off. it gives you some exercise and it keeps our child safe but it's exhausting. so if you don't mind jogging or taking off in a sprint in the mall, you might actually be ready for kids.

5. ".....you like to come and go as you please". with children, so much of what and when you do something revolves around them and their schedule. if they are hungry, bored, hot, or tired than what you are doing is second to them. kids don't know that you are waiting for a check at the restaurant. all they know is that they are done eating and it's time to go. after they've been running around with an abundance of energy and then suddenly slow down, you know they are tired but they don't...which is why they start acting out; throwing tantrums, throwing stuff, hitting, yelling....a tired kid is a shape shifter. you're never sure which version of your child you will get. so if you handle the impatient, tired, bored, hot, clingy child but can take in the deep sigh when they fall asleep on you, than you might actually be ready for kids.

6 "......you like coming home to a clean house". after a nice evening out with our friends, we came home and the wrath of landon he had unleashed on the loft earlier was still there...toys everywhere. also, the mess from lunch was still lingering in the kitchen. but if you can pick it all up and nothing is permantally damaged and it only takes alittle bit of time at the end of the night and than you can enjoy just sitting and doing nothing, than you might actually be ready for kids.

so again, for those of you don't have kids yet for whatever reason, keep in mind that this was one short evening out...not even the whole day. parenting is a marathon, not for the weak or for those who lack endurance. but if you can harness the energy from somewhere, you might actually be ready for kids.

pics from our trip

2009-04-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/TripToWashingtonAndOregon#

follow to link to look at some pictures from our trip down the oregon coast and visiting in washington

happy easter

2009-04-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

random, but easter has always been a curious holiday for me. the comedian jim gaffigan said it best when he asked why the symbol for easter began a bunny. someone in a marketing meeting asks why a bunny? a the guy says, don't worry, there's eggs. i wonder how a bunny got associated with the ressurection of christ. it's not like he came back to the earth bearing jelly beans and hopping around. he didn't gift the people who believed in him small, lop eared animals......anyway....

today was a good day. landon slept in a little bit and then we all had a french toast breakfast. we gave landon his easter present, a ride on fire truck and little people noah's ark set. we held off on giving him candy because he has no limit to how much he can eat and that's all we'd need would be our crazy little boy eating his weight in sugar. this was a peep-less household this year. logan, felicia, and taylor came over. everytime i see that little girl she's a different kid. she pulls herself to stand now and in a few brave moments, let go and stood on her own. she hadn't managed to take those few first steps yet, but i don't think it will be long. her and landon actually interacted this time and played together. we tried to get them together to take notoriously adorable easter pictures with the two of them in their matching easter outfits and after several attempts, we resorted to bribing them with candy, and then eventually gave up. we had a nice lunch and the guys played ping pong and fooseball and the girls talked about the kids (what else). it's funny how adult conversation flip flops between "how's work? how's this and that?" and "you should have seen the tantrum landon threw" or "she still sleeps all the way through the night" once you become a parent. it's almost like there are two personalities speaking from one body.

here is a picasa link to some of our easter pictures.
http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/Easter09#

baby news flash....20 1/2 weeks and i am starting to feel the baby move around throughout the day. it's getting to the point where you can almost feel the movements from the outside. even though we had landon and went through all of the exicting moments, like feeling him kick, it was still as amazing. as i lay half awake this morning, i felt the little flutters and it made me smile. i wanted to wake jordan up to have him feel, but they were very light, as if the baby was just saying "hi, i'm in here and thank you for taking care of me"...and just as i drifted back off to sleep, the movements settled and i think he probably fell asleep to. only four more months until we get to meet this little stranger.

a busy couple of weeks

2009-04-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

now that i have a few free moments, i'd thought i'd catch everyone up on what has been happening with the phoenix dunn family. we just got back this weekend from our trip to washington and oregon. the vacation couldn't have come a better time. when life gets stagnant and even getting up in the morning to greet a new day seems tiresome, it's time to take a step back and relax to gain perspective again.

before we left for vacation, we had a doctor's appointment to do our anatomy ultrasound. the purpose of this visit to evaluate the growth and development of the person growing inside you. our doctor's office finally realized that parents have a hard enough time telling what the gray, white, and black without having to squint on the tiny ultrasound machine. they put in a nice mounted flat screen on the wall and you can watch in comfort as they navigate through the process. the baby looks great. he......yes, it's another boy.....is growing at just the right pace and all his bones and organs look good. it was the perfect way to begin the trip.

landon, jordan, and i flew into seattle with little fuss from landon on the flight. we flew at night and that helped. we stayed the night in a cinematically scary motel with a hunchback front desk attendent who called us at 2am to notify that she didn't know how to work a credit card machine. the phone in our room rang loud enough and eerie enough that it sent chills down my spine. the next morning, the dunn family came to pick us up! it was so good to see them. it's amazing how intact and whole you feel when you're surrounded by family.

we made our way down to seaside oregon. although it was spring break and it was the begininging of april, the oregon coast did not fall in line with typical beach weather. it was about 40 degrees out, windy and raining. being the tourists that we were, we tried not to let it stop us from strolling the streets in search of local fare. seaside is a not a place for those on a diet....it's shore food to the nth degree. corn dogs, salt water taffy, fudge, candy, ice cream, and the like were everywhere. we attempted to enjoy the actual beach but it lasted only a few moments when because the wind almost knocked us off balance. the next day was better weather wise. we started the day with a nice, hearty breakfast at a place called pig and a pancake. we spent the rest of the day at the beach, on the boardwalk, and eating. landon got to take a ride on a carousel for the first time. he loved it, although he sat on some freak of nature flying bunny and then on a giraffe. he loved walking in and out of all the stores. some of the stores were not kid friendly and the "you break it, you buy it" policy was in force, so we kept him close.

after seaside, we drove down the oregon coast and although the drive was long and brought out hte three year old side of my sisters in law, it was so amazing. living here in arizona, there is no blatant beauty. you have see the desert as a beauty in itself, unless you go up north and take in the splendor of the trees and snow. driving down the coast, you see the ocean in all its glory. you can see out to the place where it meets the sky. the worn cliffs are an indicator of how long they've been waiting for you to pass by in awe. we stopped in newport and the sun came out and shined so bright that it sparkled off the water. my little landon headed down the beach, right to the edge of the ocean. he wasn't afraid of it. he approached it as though it should be intimated by him. he put his little feet in the sand and

our silly bubba boy

2009-02-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

today was a just a lazy saturday. it's so good to spend some time with landon. today, he was being pretty silly. he just learned to "dance" and i'm not sure what to call his style. he likes banjo music and fall out boy and dances like he's in a mosh pit. his arms swing around but really no other part of his body moves, although he's starting to get his legs into it a little.

he also has picked up a new habit....biting. it could be a result of daycare. he's been bit there a few times. he really doesn't bite anyone else than jordan, unless you asked him to bite you. he likes to bite jordan's feet, which is gross. luckily, jordan keeps his feet clean. here he is today attacking jordan as he was innocently watching tv in the loft. .

one down, eleven to go

2009-02-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

the first month of 2009 has come and gone. it was a fairly busy month for us too.

landon went back to the children's hospital and had to do a test that monitored his swallowing. they found that landon is aspirating, meaning taking fluid and food into his lungs. the doctors are telling me that could be why he is so sick all the time; once the bacteria gets into his lungs, there aren't antibodies to fight the virus or infection and they just compound on one another. when he had the test done, he had strep pneumonia and the parainfluenza virus at the same time. with some strong antibiotics and a steriod hormone, the virus cleared up and now we're back to the noisy breathing and the scary thought that if he takes too much fluid into his lungs, he could drown while trying to breathe. the doctors are telling us not to worry to that extreme, that he should grow out of it. if he doesn't, they will perform some type of surgery to regulate his fluid intake. for now, it's one day at a time and that's really all we can do.

landon also got his first official haricut. he were just intending to trim up some hair in the back and on the sides that had gotten out of control. landon didn't realize that he was supposed to stay still and moved just as we took the shaver to his head. a couple big chunks of his light blonde hair fell to the ground. we tried to salvage what we could and at some point, we decided there was no saving most of his hair. we decided to just buzz it all off and leave only a strip of hair on the top of his head, forming a mohawk kind of look. here he is with a disapproving look in his face as we were in the middle of coming up with a game plan. it turned out pretty cute though and we kept getting comments on it the whole next week at daycare and when he came with us to the store. it's hard for him not to be cute, and i'm not just saying that because he's mine. hundreds of strangers have confirmed it :) here is the mohawk after a couple of days of growth.

as far as the one that's growing, everything is going well. i've been tired and having a hard time eating. jordan gets frustrated because dinner never is a good time for me to eat. i get evening sickness, instead of morning sickness. sometimes cereal or a bagel or nothing sounds best. i always can stomach some grapefruit soda though. meat doesn't seem to be as big as a problem as it was with landon. i was a complete vegan for the first seven months with landon; no meat, not even chicken. it made me so sick. i've been able to eat some meat and hot dogs, so it isn't so bad. i'm getting to the end of the first trimester and i couldn't be happier. the first three months are rough....trouble sleeping, wanting to sleep all the time, feeling sick, being sick, and getting that doughy middle section again. ugh. we have a doctor's appointment on friday. hopefully we'll be able to hear the heartbeat then.

yesterday was superbowl. everyone here in arizona was going cardinal crazy! they were buying everything cardinals and the funny thing is that these people could've cared less about the team three months ago. they don't even know the names of the players but they wear the jerseys and the tshirts. it was ridiculous. being that my family is from pennslyvania and the eagles got knocked out by the cardinals, i figured they would be routing for the steelers...and they were. i wasn't routing for either team, i was just hoping for a good game...and it was!!! it was exciting and it was fun to hang out with our friends and family. we all went to ryan and kami's house. logan, felicia, taylor came over and so did kyle and his girlfriend jorden. watching the game, playing with the kids, and just enjoying each other's company is always the best way to spend a sunday. here is me and taylor. she is turning into a kid now, no longer in the baby-baby phase. she sits up on her own and tries to pull herself to crawl. she is so mild and calm compared to our crazy boys, landon and kade.

the boys were so funny. they were running around, playing with guns and balls and all kinds of toys. landon likes to mimic what kade does and kade copies landon. here they both are sitting under the table for no other reason than they just wanted to sit there i guess. landon was busy rifling through felicia's purse.

landon and taylor were funny too. landon tried to pet her, like he does the cat and dogs. he isn't sure what to "do" with her since she doesn't really move around on her own yet. she just stares at him and laughs. we tried to get landon to give up his cookie before we took the picture but he wasn't having it. in fact, he wanted a second one to hold in his hand.

this month, we have some stuff going on. jordan's birthday is the 6th, our anniversary is the 9th, valentine's day is the 14th. all you guys, don't feel like candy and roses are the only option. be orginial! my friend stephanie is coming for a short visit and i haven't seen her in awhie so it will be good to have a girl's lunch with her. softball starts again, but i'll just be a supporter of my team and kyle plays on it, so that will be fun to watch. i can't play because being pregnant makes me a liability. i'm alittle bummed because even though i'm not great at it, it's fun to play. we're counting down the days to when we get to go to washington for spring break at the end of march.

hope all is well with you and yours. enjoy this short month we'll be having and try to get some mroe sleep...i know i will be :)

landon update

2009-01-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

tuesday was landon's procedure for his "bronch" as the staff at phoenix children's nicknamed it. the procedure invovled putting our little guy under anthesia and shoving a tube with a camera down his throat. we got the phoenix children's hopsital early in the day. the greatest part about the hospital is that it's meant for kids, so there are lots of distractions that reminded him that he hadn't eaten yet that day. he played with the toys, entertained the receptionsits in the admitting area, and ran around getting in everyone's way. when it was time to go back to the pulmonolgy waiting area, landon was still unsuspecting. he looked all around as we walked down the mile long hallways. the staff all commented on how cute he was and how funny he was. we had to change him into his surgery garb of drawsrting pants and a gown that tied in the back...both of which were gigantic on him. i had to roll the pants up three times to fit him. he muttered around the play area for awhile as a string of doctors and nurses talked with me about his medical history, the procedure, and any concerns i had. approximately twenty mintues before the procedure, landon realized that he hadn't eaten and it was a tragedy. he started crying and wailing and throwing himself down on the ground. luckily the anthesia nurse came in about that time and told us we were ready to go. i held landon as we walked into the surgery center. i'm a grown woman and the room scared me, i couldn't imagine what he must have thought. there were seven people in the room and one of the male staff members stood there with the oxygen mask in his hand. they had me lay him on the table and his little eyes stared out at me as they out the mask on. three nurses took my spot holding him and i stood back, helpless, as he cried out for me from behind the mask that engulfed his little face. my eyes started to well up and that was when i got my exit cue. a brunette nurse took me by the arm and ushered me out the waiting room, telling me that they were going to take good care of him.
waiting in the waiting room was torture. they had my child back in that chamber and i couldn't be there with him.
the doctor made his way out after a half an hour and came walking towards me, taking his surgery mask off. he told me he was surprised in what he found. landon had swollen tissue in his airways and in the lower right lung, there was some fluid. he explained that there was possibly an onset of pneumonia on top of whatever else was going on. he explained that the underlying cuase could be asthema, or aspiration, or a number of other things. they told me i could see him in recovery in just a few minutes.
after a few mintues, an elderly volunteer came to bring me to my groggy son. he was terrified and found himself waking up in a metal, prison like crib, hooked up to an iv. his eyes hadn't opened all the way when i walked in to see him. he was crying and understandibly so. he threw a fit of massive porportion and it was deserved. i tried to hold him in my arms and he pushed me away, as if he was unleashing this fury to tell me that it was my fault i had let them torture him. after almost an hour of straight anger, he finally settled down enough to drink some juice, a requirement in order for us to leave. he drank it fast and demanded some more. i gave him some milk and then he was back to his old self. he was cracking up the nurses by his one handed chug method of his bottle and his silly alternating of bottle and binky between drinks. i took my little guy home and we just hung out the rest of the day.
the next day, we had to go back to the hospital for the doctors to run another pulse-ox test, which monitors how much oxygen he is getting. they gave us some antibiotic and a steriod to give him and told us that it might get worse for a day or so as he gets past the infection in his lungs and sent us on our way. that night, landon ran a 103 fever most of the night and all he wanted was for his daddy to hold him.
now that we're a couple days out and he's been taking the medicine, he seems to be getting a little better. he's a little sleepier than usual and fussy but we're getting through it.
this weekend, we're taking it really slow. we lounged around in our pajamas most of the day yesterday and today we're going to be glued to the television with the suns playing and the cardinals playing in the championship game. they are playing the eagles and my family is all eagles fans back east so i'm not going to root for either team and just be happy for whoever wins.
happy upcoming week to you all!

ready for the repeat?

2009-01-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

people always say that God works in mysterious ways. that is true. he has us experience suffering so we can embrace compassion. he tests us and hopes we succeed. he has us endure so we know what we are made of. over the last couple of months, He has been focused on me and having me endure. going to doctor after doctor, having surgery, recovering, going back to work, having my wisdom teeth out....on and on. it has been a rocky road. everything was starting to balance out and resume its normality until there was a seemingly absent presence around new years. a little pink plus sign, ironically shaped like a cross, revealed itself to us and a trip to the doctor on Monday confirmed it....we are expecting! my doctor, a wonderful Mormon man, told me that it must have been a sign from God that i'm okay and that everything will be okay. this expectance is a little sooner then jordan and i had talked about or planned, but God must have felt the need to intervene a little and as my doctor said, show me that the last few months have not been for no reason...cut me a little slack in a way.
as the morning sickness and fatigue start to sink in, so does the idea that we are going to have another person in our family. everyone that knows, which isn't very many yet, asks us do we want a boy or a girl now. we just want a healthy baby. boy would be easier because we already have all the boy stuff, and it isn't that old, if you could call it old at all. a girl would be fun for many reasons, but large in part to all girly shopping you get to do.
it is strange to think that landon won't be our one and only. it feels almost like we didn't exist before he came. our mornings started a little later and our sundays were lazier, but we didn't exist. now, when he wakes up and coos in his room for us to come get him, the day starts with that light in you that you are alive. you almost wonder if you will have enough of that love for anyone else, but it is eternally flowing....a renewable resource with a smile or a sleepy head on your chest, holding onto you.
we are excited! i'm especially excited because a few of my friends, even one of my best friends, kami, is also pregnant. it will nice to have someone to relate to and it will also be comforting to feel educated about what to expect. i won't be the bumbling new mom-to-be in babies r us asking how everything works "you do what with the diaper genie?"
now, more than ever, i wish we had our family and close friends near by. a lot of our great friends have kids and it would be the best network of people to have close by...and if we had our family, oh my goodness!! dinner tables would be crowded every sunday night and landon and this new one on the way would be surrounded by love.
so wish us luck! i'm sure this blog will update you all and i promise to keep it light and easy on the stomach. it is the miracle of life, but it isn't always glamorous lol i also promise not to make this into Baby Watch 09, like a reporter staked outside giving you updates on the hour....definitely won't be wearing the terrible three piece polyster suit.

investing in bad stocks

2009-01-04T15:32:00.000-08:00

with the economy the way it is now, everyone is concerned with their hard earned dollars are going. they are worried about the banks and the financial institutions; the market a who's who of fallen industries. people aren't shopping as much as they used to and the ratings for cnn money smart shows are on the rise. people are watching the dow fall and rise and plumit and recover. with all this chaos in the economy, i have been worried about another investment..the people in our lives. the stocks and humans and very much alike. they are subject to change and unpredicitible. when times are good, they are really good and everyone benefits, but when times are bad, that's when the heartache comes. recently, we've been faced with some poor investments much to our dismay. we've been invested a long time and to watch this one human stock suffer has hurt us to the core. the problem is, i especially, didn't know when to get out and stop putting in so much effort. so our shares, our free weekends, get togethers, barbeques, and what not, will be invested elsewhere with a better return.....paying us back in love, laughter, and more. we'll never sell this stock, because like the stockbrokers on wall street, we're going to wait for the day when it all turns around and then you remember why it was so important and relish in the wealth that it brings to your life.

poor little guy

2008-12-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

ever since landon was born, he hasn't been well a day in his life. this crouping, stressed cough along with labored breathing follow him everyday. when he was born, he was in distress while i was pushing. he came out and there was a flood of doctors and nurses in the room. he wasn't breathing well and his heart beat was irratic. it wasn't the moment mothers dream of when they have their babies. i got to hold him for only a minute before he was taken to the level 2 nursery. when we got to see him, he was hooked up to breathing tubes and ivs. we couldn't even hold him without getting tangled up in cords. now, over a year later, the poor kid is still having to endure poking and proding to find out what is wrong with him. instead of sleeping in today, basking in the joy of christmas that was yesterday, landon and i had to get up at six in the morning and drive an hour to Phoenix children's hospital. worst part was, landon couldn't eat anything for at least three hours before we went, not even milk. he didn't wake up well and i was dreading the morning to come. we had to go to the hospital so they could could do an upper g.i. scope. he had to drink a barium solution and the radiologists had to watch it go down his esophagus and into his digestive track. they were looking for a collapse or impression in his esophagus that could be contributing to what they call the "stridor", which is the sound that he makes when he coughs. looking it on the internet, i found that it is a noisy, high pitched sound that may suggest some sort of infection or obstruction in the breathing airways. it's a symptom of something else, not a disease in itself. he was well behaved and going to the children's hopsital is always better than the regular hospital. they watched him digest the solution and looked for any problems. the radiologist said that this is usually the test done first to rule out anything gi wise. he said he didn't see anything but will give the results to the doctor to use in combination with the next test he has to get done.
from here, landon has to have a brochoscope done. he has to have a rigid scope done, so he'll be put under anthesia for the procedure. they are doing this form so that if they need to biospy any tissue or correct a narrowed, collapsed or damaged airway, they can. this hasn't been scheduled yet but should be happening in the next week or so. i'm going to be there for him...and for myself. i've been waiting for someone to give me an answer to his problems his whole life. it keeps getting pushed back on a cold, or allergies, or congestion, or "it's going around". we recently found out that a pediatrician diagnosed landon with a chronic disorder called reactive respiratory disorder back in february, but never told us about it. i found about it when i called to get copies of his record sent to my work. this disease is very confusing becasuse some doctors say it must not be confused with asthema and some websites say they are one of the same. regardless of what it is, that isn't what the pulmonologist has told us. so we're going to put landon through the poking and proding and sedation to find something!! hopefully, it is nothing too seirous like a defect in his airways or a tumor or anything else scary you read about on the internet and the doctors list as the "worst case scenarios for this situation".

so my poor little guy. i just want him to have an answer and ultimately, a solution.

merry christmas one and all

2008-12-25T16:44:00.001-08:00

it finally came! christmas morning! the presents had been sitting under the tree for days and landon wasn't the only one waiting to open them. we got our little boy up, or the other way around, and went downstairs to open the stockings first. even the dogs and cat got gifts in their stocking. we had intended to stay in our pajamas, but i've been living in my sweatpants the last few days since i had my wisdom teeth out and felt like wearing regular clothes. logan, felicia, taylor and kyle came over for brunch and gifts. jordan made coffee cake, bacon, and sausage and we drank coco and enjoyed each other's company. it's strange; we live fairly close to each other and don't each other very much. our visits are streched across weeks and sometimes, months. work and everything else tends to get in the way. today though, it was all about family. the boys played video games and watched basketball and the girls watched after the kids. we bought a webcam and so did the washington dunn family. we did our gift opening via webcam chat and it was so neat because we could see the looks on their faces when they opened the gifts we picked for them. everyone was there too! it was great! the grandparents got to see the babies and we talked about all the snow they have had in the last week. they sent us pictures and their whole yard was covered in snow! no snow here in phoenix...just cold and rainy today, which is out of the ordinary, so it was welcomed. i need to get better at managing my cell phones minutes because i didn't get to talk to my mom, dad, or brother very long today. it was nice to talk to them though, and know that they are enjoying their christmas as well. i haven't really been able to talk at all the last couple of days, so it was good to talk...period. we missed all of our family and friends and wish they could have all been here to talk with and laugh with.

this christmas was fun because landon understood what was going on, more so than last year. he helped rip off wrapping paper and ate christmas brunch with us. he played with the toys and books we got him and wore himself out playing with the little tikes hoop we bought him. i think he might go pro one day! check out this dunk!

here are the rest of the pictures from our christmas morning.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/Christmas2008#

as the day winds down, the dishes get clean, the wrapping paper finds its way into the recycling bin, we hope that you all had a wonderful and joyous day as well. we hope you got everything you wanted and we hope that you even had the chance to give to those less fortunate than yourself, even if it was the smallest donation. we gave to the salvation army several times and gave a toy for tots. hope someone enjoys it and it brings a smile to their face.

as the new year approachs, it starts the time to reflect on the past year, comment on how fast it went by. it's also time for most people to torture themselves with new year's resolutions. most resolutions last six weeks into the new year. it's a depressing statistic. imagine what all could be accomplished if people had a little more willpower and endurance in their goals. the problem for some is they make the statment "this year i will......" knowing they won't obtain the end result and therefore can proclaim the same resolution each and every year. some have every intention of sticking to their guns. somewhere along the way, they just get lost or busy or distracted. so, my loved ones, i ask that this year, you set a resolution that can be reached. don't make it too easy...make it so some hardwork goes into it....and let us not fall into the habit of making other people's resolutions for them. ie. i tell my mom every year, this will be the year you stop smoking, and she has no intention to stop, and then i get disappointed come december. easy steps this year:

1. make a resolution that you know you can keep, it means a lot to you to accomplish, and you won't give up on it in april

2. don't make anyone else's resolution (outloud)

love and blessings to you all!!! talk to you again soon! sleep tight!

it's almost christmas..but you wouldn't know it looking outside

2008-12-21T18:24:00.000-08:00

most of the country right now is being hit with snow and ice storms. mail has been halted to a stop in some cities, including marysville, where we're from. our brother nayt works for the post office and slid into a ditch in his mail truck the other day. thankfully, he's okay. all over the states, schools are being canceled and people are freezing. water pipes are bursting in houses because of the cold and football players are playing games with zero visibility.....for crying out loud, the vegas strip was under a foot of snow!!! but here, in arizona, not the case. in fact, we are not trapped by snow at all. landon, jordan, and i went to the park today and hung out. it was a beautiful day, maybe in hte 60's somewhere for temperature. it wasn't even cold enough for me to opt for closed toes shoes, so i rocked the flip flops. it was great for us in arizona. i really miss the snow though. it always makes me think of nights by the fireplace, cocoa, and big comfy blankets. we've only turned out heat on twice so far. not to brag or rub it in the faces of those shoveling snow off their driveways, or wearing eight layers just to get to the mailbox..not at all. i'll trade you a week or so of this weather to even this season as it was intended to be enjoyed.

anyway, christmas is almost here! we finally got one room of our house looking festive. we hung our stockings and i stacked all the presents under the tree. this could have waited a few days, but it makes the room feel warmer somehow. they are alittle too tempting for landon, however. he keeps going over and picking up the lightest ones and carrying them to us. here is, busted, sitting amongst the gifts. it'll be so exciting to watch him open them, or try at least. last year, he slept through christmas morning because he was only a few weeks old. hopefully he likes what we picked out for him. oh! and we are proud to report that landon has been off the bottle for almost a month now...baby bottle that is. we've made a transition into sippy cup. new years resolution for landon will be to give up his binky, which i anticipate to be harder then giving up the bottle.

we will be enjoying christmas with logan, felicia, baby taylor, and kyle. we are doing a christmas brunch, instead of a big dinner. everyone gets to come in their pajamas and we're going to have our gift exchange. got a big family?? do as the dunns do! we do a secret santa and everyone picks one other person to give a gift too. we all try to keep it a secret until christmas, and in past years it has been pretty much gone to the spoils, but now that the younger kids has grown up a bit and can actually keep their secrets, there is more mystery this year. it's worked pretty well. jordan and i give a family gift to the washington dunns and they give a family gift to us too. we don't know what we're getting this year, because we didn't decide in time, so we are left to our own devices in check form. we'll do something fun with it, i'm sure.

so again, merry christmas to all of you who follow this blog and anyone new to see it! love and joy to everyone!

o christmas tree!

2008-12-16T20:48:00.000-08:00

this year, we happened upon a tree from a friend of mine. we haven't had one of our own since we moved here to arizona. to get a real tree, you better be ready to spend some big time bucks. i was always used to the daily family tradition of going out days before christmas, sometimes christmas eve, and picking out the best looking tree with my dad. i loved the way it smelled in the house in the middle of the night. no aromas from the kitchen were interfering. everytime we fly back to washington, i get out the airport and take a deep breath and the evergreen smells takes over your senses. it always reminds me of christmas. it's a fake tree and it isn't extravagant but it doesn't matter...i was just so excited to have one. landon was excited too. he loves the christmas lights on the tree and he liked to play with the ornament. he even let me try and decorate him. i was seriously considering using this picture for my christmas card..in fact, i still might.

i may not be posting next week, despite the holiday. i have to have three wisdom teeth surgically extracted on monday the 22nd....urg. i know, something else, right? hopefully this will be the last thing i'll be dealing with for awhile. so if i don't get a chance to get the cards out, or give you all phone calls, have a wonderful christmas. enjoy your familes and friends. drink some coca and cuddle up with big blankets and stare aimlessly at your trees. just embrace and hold on to the moments as they're happening. yes, the gifts will be nice, but we got the biggest gift and december 25th is his birthday!!!!

the "daycare" kid

2008-12-11T21:30:00.000-08:00

i've realized my worst fear as a working mom. my son, my little landon, has been the typically daycare kid....you know the ones. they always have something wrong and you can spot them from anywhere due to the ever flowing runny nose. after almost 3 weeks of no daycare, landon went back on tuesday. later in the afternoon, i got that dreaded call that landon had a fever and i needed to come get him. this is not the first time. whenever the phones ring and see their name pop up, i cringe and pray....i know something is wrong, and at the same time, i hope it isn't something serious, or worse, life threatening. so i went and got him, took him right to the doctor. after a short, hardly thorough exam, she determined he had an ear infection. i informed he was already being treated for an ear infection, and she said sometimes it goes and comes....huh? so we filled his prescription and we were sent on our way. spiking temperatures, rotavirus, and cough that he hasn't been able to kick since he was born pretty much...daycare kid. how do i know that my son isn't some fragile germ magnet? because when my mother in law was here for the summer, landon was here with her and he was really doing a lot better. as soon as he went back, he was a mess again. to make matters worse, he is starting to show the signs of a daycare kid in his battle wounds. he's been bitten a couple times, causing bruises and marks. bumps on the head needing cold compresses and then there is that runny nose....dead giveaway.
he's seen specialists at the top hospitals, had a hospital stay even, and he never gets better. i love him and along with being happy and well adjusted, i want him to to be healthy. not a day goes by when i don't hear that labored, low croup. most of the time, he acts liek it doesn't even bother him. he coughs and then smiles and walks away. i don't want it to be something he just lives with. i don't want him to accept the fact that he's a daycare kid...i want him to be able to run around the park without wheezing and coughing after ten minutes.

daycare kid.....i never thought he'd be one of them.

back to work

2008-12-08T18:00:00.001-08:00

today, i had to go back to work. i've been on leave to have and recover from surgery and although it was no vacation, it was so nice to have that time with jordan and especially with landon. he and i had so much fun together. spending that time together was priceless. i realized just how much of his day i'm missing when i'm a work. between the commute and my actual work day, we have only a few true, quality hours together. i miss his snacks and his new tricks, like pointing. i miss hugs and laughs. i felt like crying all the way to work as i drove in alone today. i was leaving a par of me at home and i felt a pull getting stronger the more miles i put between me and home. i'd always thought i'd be a stay at home mom; carting the kids to playdates and baking cookies, enjoying more of the mess in the process then the result. i wanted to enjoy the nap time cuddles and greet my bread winnind husband at the door, child on hip. i essentially wanted to be a wife in the fifties. i even wanted to sport the apron, even though i know i really don't cook anything. it was appealing....if you look past oppressed women rights and young mothers with drinking problems. realistically, we're in a society to live to work, not work to live. jordan and i got used to our life when it was just our life...maybe at one point before we bought our current house we could have kept it small scaled and i could've stayed home and raised our adorable son.....maybe, could've, would've are no good now. now, i have a job, jordan has a job and we have a son to support. i like the company i work for and the benefits have allowed landon and i to be as sick as we could possibly be affordably. i just wish it were different. i would even settle for part time.
what i would really want, what would be ideal would be to work part time, stay home with landon, sell my writing to make up for the lack of time spent behind the desk, and live off the salary of my husband's sports statistics job. it would be a win win life; i'd still be making money, doing what i love (writing), staying home with my mess maker, and jordan would be ranking nba players on their missed free throws and rebounds. to make it truly ideal, our family would live nearby and we would have big family dinners every sunday night and we'd play board games and drink coco....very currier and ives. we'd all take family pictures in delightfully cheesy matching sweaters and have picnics in the park. again, the fifties weren't so bad for moms, right? just avoid the nip of scotch after supper.
for now, i'll plug away at a 9-5 pace and try to keep the perm-a-smile going as i do it....all along knowing that we are capable of more love if we just have more time...and more money would help too

thanksgiving, thanks, and healing

2008-12-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

i know i'm a little late on my thanksgiving post, not my fault. i tried and there was some type of error. anyway, happy thanksgiving to all who read this!! i hope that your day was full of friends, family, fun, and love; like ours was. jordan made an amazing dinner of all white meat turkey, homemade gravy, green beans, rolls, and jello salad. we appointed the relatives to bring the other stuff, like soda and chips, etc. my brother in law logan came with his wife felicia and my niece taylor, or tay is what we call her. my brother in law kyle came and brought his new girlfriend for us to meet. her name is jordin......in case you are not aware, i am married to a jordan and my brother mikey is dating a girl named jorden. what did i start?? (mine's the best one though) felicia's dad and sister also came for dinner. nothing makes a house feel more like a home than the warmth of family in it. i wish that all of our family could've been there. we would have needed more turkey, but it would have been the best thanksgiving ever. we played video games, a board game, we talked about our kids, and we laughed a lot. we even managed to get us all in one picture. tay was just about to take a nap and she wasn't very happy to be participating.

here is the picasa link to some more pictures...not a ton, and none of the food actually, but it captures our day.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/Thanksgiving08#

i was still healing from surgery and still kind of am. having an exploration done of your abdomen is tough to recover from and you never quite realize just how much you use those muscles until you are wounded and unable to. picking up landon is the hardest thing. my arms are getting stronger, trying to compensate for the loss of the core muscles to lift him. he isn't very big but he's solid. he is getting to be such a kid now, instead of a baby. case in point, his jumper chair was sitting in the back bedroom. landon had lost interest in it and had sort of outgrown it was well. taylor needed some entertainment, so i brought it out for her to play in. as soon as she was in, landon walked right over and wanted to play with it. he was trying to shake her out of it and watching them interact was hilarious. we got some of it on video. they were just so interested in each other. it's funny to think that landon doesn't realize he was a baby like her not so very long ago. he sees babies in the store or at the park and he smiles and laughs, but it doesn't register to him that he isn't that much older than they are.

speaking of thanksgiving, i should post what it is that i am thankful for. i am thankful for my wonderful husband jordan. without him, i would be lost, adrift in the world with no direction. he is my personal accountant, chef, and comedian. he is the best best friend anyone could ask for because he is truly a good human being. he is the most incredible dad to landon too. i always knew he would be but he amazes me everyday. i am thankful for my little guy landon. he is a daily reminder of how blessed we are and how much joy we have in our lives. it's hard to remember how we were before him but we are better people because of him. we are so thankful for our familes. i am blessed to have my family and also a warm and inviting in law family in the dunns. logan was my best friend in high school and im so lucky to now have him as a brother. kyle is thes best! he even came over to help take care of landon when i wasn't able to during the first days of recovery. he read books, changed diapers and to boot, he even fed my dogs before he left. i love them all! we are thankful for our friends, both here and far away. the perrys and the burninghams are there for us when we need them and they have been a great support system for us here in arizona. they always keep us laughing and you know what they say about laughter; it prolongs your life. they have given us many extra years. we are thankful for our house, our jobs, our pets. we are most thankful to be watched over and loved from our God above and he watches over those who hold places in our hearts as well. he challenges us everyday and in our thoughts and prayers, he knows we apprecaite both the successes and the failures. he is neverending and although i wasn't rasied in the church, like jordan was, i know our family keeps him close to us. our son will know that he is loved and blessed, and that is a tremendous gift.

speaking of gifts, the holidays are now upon us....being crammed down our throats by stores, commercials, all holiday music channels, etc. can you believe a man was trampled to death at a walmart by crazed shoppers day after thanksgiving? killed for discounts. those are the people stores love, the ones that have forgotten the true meaning of christmas. spiritually void consumers buying crap nobody really needs and most of the time, don't want. as we all do our shopping, and partake in the giving and receiving of gifts, let's just keep the real meaning of the season in mind. let's put family, friends, and faith ahead of $5 off 10 piece tool kits.

i know you all will and i wish you all a very happy holiday.

talk to you again soon!

it feels like i was hit by a truck

2008-11-25T08:35:00.000-08:00

After my last post, I was so angry about the direction my healthcare was taking. I know that a sick person for doctors is a business, but it should never be treated that way. At the recommendation of my boss, who suffered the same frustration with a treatment she needed, I went to see a doctor at the mayo hospital. It is one of the best hospitals and their reputation for service is stellar. I went in during my lunch on Tuesday the 18^th. The campus was beautiful and all the people were nice. I saw dr magtiby, and I heard about eight different pronunciations of his name in the time I was there. I told him all my symptoms and we talked about the degree of pain I was in. he was very honest and direct and told me if everything went okay, I could have surgery the next day. My eyes welled when he told me that this pain would be taken care of and that I could get back to being normal and taking care of my family. So after finishing everything up at work, I went home and prepared for surgery. I had to be on a complete fast for 18 hours, which meant no food or drink. That was tough. In the morning, I put on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt (because hospitals are always cold) and got a book and my pink blanket and we headed out. It was an outpatient procedure so I didn’t bring an overnight bag. We dropped off landon for the day and I gave him a big hug because I knew I wouldn’t be able to pick him up or hold him for a week to two weeks. Jordan had to go in to work so he dropped me off at the hospital early. I sat patiently in the waiting room and listened to all the other reasons people were having surgery that day. One man was having a kidney removed, one woman was having a mastectomy, and one boy was having his arm broken again to the bones to heal right. I was nervous but it was much more comforting at this hospital then I wouldn’t felt at my originally intended hospital. The nurse called me in and I had to put on that ridiculous sheet gown they make you wear. They started an IV and the doctor came in and drew a purple x on my right side. Just as I was going to be put out, Jordan popped in and told me he’d be waiting for me when I was all done. That was the best thing, to see him before I went in. they put me under and the next thing I knew, I was in the recovery area. The doctor had made four incisions into my abdomen; one to look into the right ovary and take care of the mass that was there. One into the belly button to look around the stomach and intestines and to remove the appendix. A third to look into the uterus and clean some tissue out that was still there from having landon, and a fourth to look at the bladder and other organs in that area. The surgery all lasted about 2 hours. I was beat up. The recovery area had about 10 beds and some of the people who were in the waiting room were in there too. The nurses laughed because I kept falling asleep and then waking up suddenly and calling out to them, like separation anxiety. They kept asking what my pain from 1 to 10 was and it was really terrible for the first few hours. Jordan came back to see me and said he had to go get landon from daycare. The doctor said I couldn’t leave that night. I was in too much pain and my vitals weren’t strong enough. So they put me in a recovery room of my own and my nurses were fantastic; I wanted for nothing. If I was tired, they turned the lights off, if I was thirsty, they got me some juice, and if I was in pain, they had the stuff to help me. My mom was great too. She called me at least three times a day to see how I was and to make sure she didn’t have to have some words with any nurses about taking care of her baby girl. The whole time I was in recovery, my blood pressure was really low, which was odd. When it was time to get up and try to walk, I only got a few steps before I felt sick and dizzy and passed out a little in the hallway. I was really tired too. I’d be awake just long enough for the nurses to check in on me and then I’d drift off again. It was partially due to the medicine they gave me, but my body was working really hard to heal me. Good thing the nurses were right there to catch me. I didn’t get to go home that day either. On Friday, I was up walking a little at a time and actually got to eat some food. Jordan came and took me home and I was glad to be home, but it was different. In the hospital, I was allowed to be down and weak and taken care of. At home, I had responsibilities and I felt terrible not fulfilling them….especially not being able to hold Landon when he was sleepy at bedtime. I was really sick Friday night. I had a high fever with chills and shaking. Jordan loaded me up with blankets and I feel asleep for awhile but when I woke up, I was throwing up and clammy and felt awful. I finally fell back to sleep. Saturday, we were all supposed to drive to California for our friend’s mark and kami’s wedding and there was no way I could go. Thankfully, our friends Ryan and kami watched Landon overnight. They are great! Landon loves to play over there too because kade has all the big boy toys. Jordan left and I slept most of the day, trying to get up every once and awhile to see if I could walk some more. Sunday, kami brought Landon back over and Kyle, my dear brother in law, came to help. He’s a great uncle and Landon adores him. Kyle brought us jack in the box which I don’t really eat but it was the first meal in over a week that I was able to keep down, so I was happy. Jordan came home and worked from home yesterday to help take care of me. I’m still really sore and can’t do much. My stomach is all bruised this yellow kind of bruise. I go back to the doctor tomorrow so he can tell me what, if anything, he found in the biopsies and during the surgery. Hopefully, he fixed whatever the problem was and everything will be fine. If not, I’m confident that if I have to be treated for something else, that the mayo hospital is the place to have to done at. I’ll be letting you all know what he has to say about his trip into my abdominal cavity tomorrow!

surgery scheduled

2008-11-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

December 2nd is my surgery day right now. I am trying to get it moved up so that way this pain goes away sooner, but it isn't looking promising. It's an outpatient procedure most of the time, depending on how your vitals are during recovery and observation. Some people have to stay overnight. I'm annoyed at the healthcare system right now...the way they treat people. my doctor's office won't even let me talk to my doctor. this man is going to cut into my body and remove parts and I can't even talk to him about it. everything has be screened through his assistant, which is way this has taken so long. i've been in pain now for almost three months. i've lost my appetite, lost weight, i'm fatigued, bruising, running fever on and off, feeling sick, and my abdomen is swollen up. it's miserable and even though i've voiced my suffering, it doesn't take a high priority to them...i don't fit into their schedule. i'm thinking i might go to a different doctor's office, even though i like my doctor...when i actually get to see and talk to him. this is all so ridiculous....wishing at this point that something ruptures or explodes or causes some emergency so that it can be taken care. no one should get to that point.

if the surgery gets moved up, i'll let you all know.

random monday post

2008-11-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

so landon was in the bath tub tonight and i just so happened to be taking incriminating photos of him to use against him when he's older, and i thought i'd capture his newest concept on video....in. every night when the bath is over, i tell him it's time to clean up and we put all the toys away before the draining the water. he has caught on now and has figured out that the toys go in the bucket. it was cute.

i may not be blogging too much in the next, oh i don't, week or so. the doctor told me today that i need to go in and surgery. i'm not what day i have to go for it, but it doesn't sound like major surgery. for the past couple of months, i've had this terrible pain in my lower right abdomen and i went to two doctors and had numerous tests before they sent to my primary obgyn, the same doctor that delivered landon. he discovered a mass on my right ovary and said it might also be causing some problems to the appendix as well. after what they call "watchful waiting" and tryingto treat it with a steriod hormone, i had another ultrasound the end of last week. the mass didn't go away and didn't even shrink a little....impervious to the medicine. it was supposed to disappear all together. the pain is still there and so the doctor is recommending to have laproscopic surgery to remove the mass primarily and if necessary, other organs. from what i read online, it could be a little nothing surgery with little recovery time, or it could be a war zone in there. my worst fear, of course, is that it's cancer. based on everything that i've been reading i've been displaying almost all the syptoms of ovarian cancer, most recently loss of appetite and weight loss. hopefully it isn't anything that serious. the people that i have told always ask the same question "does this mean you can't have any more kids?" so far, the answer is "no". the doctor doesn't predict any infertility problems. so keep your fingers crossed for me that it's a pesky cyst and nothing more!!!

love to all of you!!

at the park

2008-11-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

it was one of the those gorgeous november days here in arizona. the temperature was perfect to be outside and so we took landon and the dogs to the park. here are some pictures of us with the dogs. for those who don't know, gage is the black and brown dog and nala is the tan one with the long, crazy, spotted tongue.

landon loves to go on the swing, but someone else was using them. landon is bigger now, so we thought he might like going down the slide. here's the video and based on his expression, maybe we'll just stick to the swings for awhile. this is when everything starts to get fun! he's becoming so interactive and before, the park was just a place that wasn't the house, but he was able to get out of his stroller and walk around and he seems to like it. i'm glad that now that weather is a little less harsh we'll be able to go more.

the day came...and it was messy!

2008-11-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

we had landon's first birthday party on november the first. it was a sad day and i was upset in the morning, but as we decorated for the party and got landon's gifts out, the look on his face made it hard to stay sad for long. he was so excited! our good friends the perrys and the burninghams came and landon's uncle logan came too. the house was noisy but it was great to everyone there. i remember when we went to kade's first birthday and we just kept thinking about how fast the time had flew. now, we were realizing it with our own little one. jordan made landon a little basketball cake and it was so cute. it was little, so just landon would eat....or destroy it. here we are singing happy birthday to him.

then it was time to get dirty!! it took him a little while to really get into eating the cake. everything up until that point in his life had been in liquid form or in tiny bite sized pieces. i think he was more overwhelmed by the portion. eventually he got it to fall apart and luckily he took his clothes off or it would have been an even bigger mess. needless to say, it was straight into the bath after he was done. he is eating the cake. the rest of the pictures can be seen from the picasa link below the video. it was a good day! full of laughter and love. i just wish that our family could've been there to share it with us. it isn't fair to them or us to miss out on these events, like birthdays and holidays. hopefully, it won't always be that way.

picasa link to pictures is:

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/LandonSFirstBirthdayParty#

one year old today!

2008-10-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

it feels like just yesterday we were in the hospital having our little landon. he was born october 30, 2007 at 10:17am. this morning, we woke up and he was a year old. it is incredible how fast the time goes. it's hard to even remember those first days and first few months, when he was so small and fragile. now, he's rough and tumble, walking and falling but pulling himself up. this past year for us has been amazing. being a mom is a lot of hard work but it's so worth it. it is fun and fulfulling and everyday i am so thankful to have this guy. my heart swells everytime i get that big, wide mouthed smile! the year has been full of so much love and we've really grown into our little family. jordan is the best dad to landon. he loves him so much and you can see it everyday in his eyes, like he's holding him for the first time. landon just adores him and i knew all along that jordan was going to be a fanatastic dad but he amazes me still everyday. when it's been a long night, or a rough flight home, or even just a tummy ache, those are the moments when you really understand what unconditional love is. we have it for him and he has it for us. over the past year, he has reached all the milestones that kids do and with each passing day, he changes. he figures things out and he's becoming a little person. it's a bittersweet day and i have to admit that i've been a little sad, because he's no longer my little baby bucket....but this morning when he woke up and i came into the room and he reached out for me, i picked him and he laid his head on my shoulder, and i knew that this was just the begining. so i put the sadness aside and decided to have fun with my son on his birthday. i wanted to remember the day with something he could enjoy doing and have as a keepsake. we did fingerpainting, which was in fact fun, but it was also a huge mess!!! let's just say a bath was needed afterwards for the both of us. here's video of my one year old landon, the mess maker. happy birthday baby boy!

philly trip

2008-10-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

here is the link to our picasa album with all of our pictures from our trip to pennsylvania

http://picasaweb.google.com/dunnboy10/TripToPhilly08#

a giraffe in the room....geoffrey giraffe

2008-10-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

i took landon out shopping with me today to get some things for his birthday this month. we got to toys r us and as we were walking through the aisles, i realized how strange it was that i was taking him shopping to get his presents. presents are great because of the element of surprise....its disguised with wrapping paper and the thoughts of your lists or going through your head. this little guy was watching me pick things out and but he'll still be surprised because kids that young don't have their long term memory fine tuned yet. he even got out of the cart and walked down the aisle, browsing and skipping over toys i would've thought he'd like to play with. his eyes lit up and he got his squeaky toy-sounding laugh going over an activity table that was extremely over priced. as i watched him, in his half standing-half squating stance, i realized that he wasn't my little baby anymore.
i knew i was going to be sad when he turned one and the quote, unquote, infant phase was over. i was picking out clothes and had to start looking in the bigger kid section. it felt like the days of layette sets and soft plush toys was so long ago, when the opposite is true. it's hard to remember those first few days of his life...how tiny and fragile he was. now, he was walking around the store, flirting with all the girls, and shaking his head no when presented with a toy he wasn't crazy about. he'd lose his balance and plop down on his padded behind but get right back up again. he's my little man now.
at the end of the day, we came home and unloaded all the bags. i put all his birthday stuff in the downstairs office, and put away all the stuff he was going to be using now and for our upcoming trip to pennslyvania. still a little sad that his closet was full of 12 month clothes, he came up to me with his binky and his favorite blue blankie and put his arms up for me to hold him. we sat down and he laid his head on my chest. he drifted off to sleep and i wasn't sad anymore. he may not be a newborn, but he is still my baby, reagardless of what size clothes he has and what toys we get for him.

the day we wait for all year here

2008-10-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

the phoenix desert finally took a break today from it's scorching temperature. the still sat high in a clear blue, cloudless sky but it relaxed a little on the heat. the wind was blowing and gave the perfect blend of warmth and breeze. if it was like today all year long, i wouldn't mind living here so much. today feels like a day where the leaves on trees should be piling up on the ground and your sweatshirt is a welcome addition again to your everyday wardrobe. in washington, where we're from, you know when the seasons are changing....its in the air...literally. the evergreen trees start to strengthen their aroma to block out the smell of the rain falling onto dead leaves. the desert never has an inviting smell. the desert has no such fragrence to offer. all it has is it's sunny skies. today, and the for next couple of months, it will be ideal weather that washington can't compete with as far as a winter goes. you can wear a long sleeve and jeans with flip flops. you can wear a hoodie and shorts. the warmth from cuddling up with a blanket is enough...no need to turn on the heater. hot chocolate in the morning fills your stomach with a delictable fullness. these will be the months that i don't mind living in the desert......then march and april will come and i will wish we were back home....going to the lake for lazy spring and summer days or swimming and picnics and barbeques. rain at night that beats against the roof in a rythmic lullaby. hikes in mountains with trails lined in blooming flowers. i wish i could have to it both ways, like the retired people do. i guess, only more 30 or years or so and we can have it that way. for now, we will soak up days like today in their phoenix glory and wish for washington when the temperature in three digits long.

proof

2008-09-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

here are some wobbly steps caught on video. now, he can make it from one side of the room to the other! he can even do it without one of us holding him. he'll pull himself up on the table or the couch and off he goes.

small feet, big steps

2008-09-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

for a few weeks now, landon has been cruising...which in baby terminology means he's been walking around while holding onto something, usually furniture. he's fast now and over the last few days, was getting brave enough to let go and stand on his own for a few seconds. just yesterday, after landon and picked up jordan at the airport, landon decided to welcome his dada home by taking his first wobbly baby steps. it was awesome! we were in the hallway in our bathroom and we let him try once and he tumbled sideways but we picked up him right back up and he tried again. jordan put his arms out and landon took a good five steps on his own and fell into jordan's arms. today, he did the same thing in the kitchen but it more like six or seven steps.
jordan's mom said all the kids walked early and my mom said that i did too and i wasn't expecting him to try so early but he did and he was so proud of himself too! his face light up and even though he looked like a little drunk man stumbling home from the bar, it was the cutest thing i've ever seen
our little walking boy at tem months and three weeks old!

the day....it came

2008-09-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

this past weekend, landon and i went to california to see my family there for a few days. the flight from phoenix to burbank is a short one, less than an hour and a half. i was as prepared as i could be....i had bottles and toys and snacks, binky and blanket. this would be the first time he and i had traveled together alone. i arrived early in the terminal and checked in with the gate attendant. as i sat down, i could see that look on all the other passenger's faces..they were all thinking to the themselves "oh no, there is a baby on this flight". i couldn't pass judgement on any of them because it was just a short time ago that i was one of those paranoid passengers. i would size up the baby and the parents, analyze their terminal behavior and make my assumptions about how bad this was going to be for us all. a slight roll of the eyes and an hour with headphones on wouldn't be so bad i guess.
so they all sized me up, looking at my blonde haired blue eyed charmer. he had all the travel essentials and was behaving well.
we boarded the flight at about 8pm and this was a delight to me, hoping that the flight would coinside with the time he usually fell asleep and it would be smooth sailing.
he gave a great ten minutes...sat quietly, appeared to be sleepy, and cuddled up on my lap. i was starting to put the big ha! ha! to everyone in the plane and say "how dare you assume just because he's a baby he would be loud and disturb your flight." just as i got to that confident level, my little landon popped up, took out his binky, and started yelling. we had got to cruising altitude and his ears hadn't popped. he cupped his hands over his adorable protruding ears and cried and cried. i felt so bad. it was obvious that he was uncomfortable. i tried to soothe him with a bottle and a game of peek a boo but it wasn't working.
i was suddenly having flashbacks of a bill cosby segment about jefferey who was three years old and everyone on the plane hated jefferey. i laughed at the time, but i imagined i looked a bit like the mother he described, hair a mess and a long drawn face from the stress.

it was the longest hour ever!

just as we started our descent, landon curled up with his favorite blue blankie and fell asleep. i breathed lightly so as not to jostle him awake.
the plane landed and everyone deboarded and although the passers by all commented on how cute he was and handsome, i knew they ended those comments in their mind with "while he's alseep." i gathered up my sleepy bundle and headed out, knowing that next time, it was going to be better. i had survived my first baby flying experience and figured since no one had asked us to spend the duration of the flight in the tiny lavatory or worse, never return, it had been a success.

today, we flew back. as before i mentally prepared myself and packed everything, but the over confidence. i knew that things could go wrong again despite the toys and bribery of playing with my cell phone.

it happened again. ears wouldn't pop, snacks didn't work, binky wasn't helping, except there was no nodding off at arrival. we gathered our things and walked off the tiny plane. the yelling and agony continued the whole way home...another hour's worth.
i was exhausted, he was exhausted and wet and we were both hungry.

as i laid him down in his room to change him, he looked around and stopped crying and started to laugh. he knew he was back home. it almost erased all that stress and drama to see him happy in the home that jordan and i have given him. he gave me a slobbery raspeberry and called for his dada and then he took a bath with all his rubber duckies and toys.

i guess when we fly to pennslyvania next month, a good four hour flight, we'll head off with the "what are you gonna do? he's a baby afterall" mentality and just take the dirty looks as they come and remember that we used to be the annoyed travelers once too. we'll just smile and aplogize and go about our way.

2008-09-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

he's never going to want to go to formula after eating all this new fun food....guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing. this is landon eating string cheese for the first time. mess maker!

just a few pictures from our wedding

2008-09-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

it was the perfect day to get married....not too hot, not too cold. we had a morning wedding. we got married at newcastle golf club and it was gorgeous! my bridesmaids looked fantastic! they actually like their dresses too. kami, stephanie, and suzi kept me sane (and awake) as we got ready in the morning and kept me laughing too. jordan's groomsmen, paul, nick, and ryan all looked so handsome in their tuxes. jordan picked out the colors. our official wedding colors were white, pewter and black...golf course chic is what i called it. although we didn't write our own vows, i wrote the vow we took to include a line about being each other's biggest fan...sports reference a must. our ceremony was full of little oops moments....ring stuck in the pillow, wrong music down the aisle, licking jordan's finger to the get the ring on. looking back at the pictures, it's impossible to capture the excitement and the joy of knowing i was going to spend the rest of my life with jordan and that he had chosen me too.

p.s. the cake was soooo good. white cake with cream cheese and wild rasperberry filling. yummy!

new to this!

2008-09-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

i am getting on this train finally. all my friends do it and i thought since our family is spread out all over the country, it would be a good way to keep everyone in the loop as to what is going on with us.
this week, jordan and landon are in washington and oregon for jordan's cousin's wedding. i, on the other hand, am at home with the two dogs and the cat. they are good company and good security too. the boys left only a day ago and i miss them both like crazy.
landon is getting so close to walking. he cruises around the room, barely holding on to something. i think he might walk in the next couple of weeks.
he just passed his 10 month bechmark on his way to his first birthday and it is funny to see him turning into a little person. he has a sense of humor and he's so smart.
he just broke through with his first tooth, but better late then never. he has the biggest open mouth smile, so it's kind of sad that now it will change, but it will allow to eat all the things he sees us eating all the time.

baby taylor, our niece and landon's first cousin, got her baby blessing this past sunday. for those of you who aren't Mormon, allow me to clarify; a blessing is not a baptism. a blessing is a verbal gift, if you will. it voices the hopes and aspirations for the child during their life and documents the baby on the church records.
i was born and raised with catholic values, so i baptized when i was an infant. the Mormons have the belief that a child choses their faith at the age of 8. there is no need to baptize the babies because they are God's purest beings and if anything happens to them, they go right to heaven to be with him. the lds people say that the spirits inside the babies that pass only needed a body for a short time. its a wonderful belief.

taylor cried most of the time, but she was hungry. landon was so good though. he was quiet and sat there holding his blanket and just listened as his grandpa (jordan's dad) spoke to the group in the room. it was us, logan and felicia, kyle, jenna, rd, baby sarajane, sumner, kami, ryan, kade and the bishop. small room so it got kind of hot in there.

after the blessing, we all went for a picnic in the park and it was a hot day so the little boys played in the splash pad. landon was fearless. i took his clothes off and let him crawl into the fountains with only his diaper on and he wasn't scared at all. he'd put his hand over the spout and laugh as it shot back up. he never cried or whined at all. he's a water baby!

jordan's dad was here visiting this weekend and came for the blessing, but also to take jordan's sister katrina home. i was sad to have her leave. growing up, it was just me and mikey and i didn't have any girl cousins my age so it was fun to have someone to go to the mall with and watch movies with. felicia and i took her to get a pedicure and it was her first time. after we were done, she said it was fun but strange because the nail tech doesn't talk to you. i told her it's because they don't really speak english. i made a joke that they talk about us though in their native tongue, because i really think they do. they aren't shy about it.

it was back to work after the long weekend and it was long day.

hope to have some pictures up soon.